- #1
FlexGunship
Gold Member
- 426
- 8
I have a story about something I did for one of my ex-girlfriends. She was raised without getting any real material possessions (for lots of reasons). But she loved to fantasize about getting nice things; she would try on shoes she couldn't afford, look at coats she would never own, pick out houses, cars, and boats...
So, I took her to the mall (she liked to look at the puppies at the pet store... well, we both did, but I pretended I didn't). She used to hold onto my arm as we walked. Well, this one time she started tugging on it... just enough to change my direction. I looked down at her and she said: "we should go over here." She led me into Journey's... some shoe store or something.
She was shopping around, and pointed out a pair of sunglasses, saying: "I used to have a pair just like those, but my last boyfriend thought they were stupid and wouldn't let me wear them when I was with him."
Taking my OBVIOUS cue, I told the girl that worked there to take them out so she could try them on. They were $12. She struck some poses and asked me what I thought. They were really cute on her and I told her so. Then she said, "well, I can't afford $12 for a pair of sunglasses, but thanks for letting me try them on." She put them down and found a pair of boots she liked.
"Aren't these wicked cute?" she asked. Frankly, I thought they were super ugly. They were knitted boots with "sherpa" patterns on them and they buttoned up on the side. But I told her to try them on... there's no point in falling in love with boots if they don't even feel good. She tried them on, and I told her to leave room for her comfy socks (I bought her some fuzzy socks because her feet get cold and she loved those socks). She picked out a size, and they fit well. I smiled at her as she wore them. She knew that I would sometimes spoil her, and she was unemployed and had not money. I would spoil her a little because it made ME feel good to see her so excited. And she said: "Please don't buy these for me."
I turned to the girl at the register and said: "Crazy girl thinks I'll just buy her whatever she wants!" I asked how much the boots were and said: "What?! For boots? That's ridiculous. Forget it. We'll take the sunglasses though."
She tried to stop me, but she was also super excited and actually wore them through the mall for a while. It was adorable to see how excited she was. We left the store, and decided to go to the pet store. She picks out the cutest puppy and I try to guess which one it is. So, I told her to go get a head start and that I was going to run to the bathroom really quickly. She said okay, and was on her way.
I ran back to Journey's, bought the boots and paid for them. As the transaction was going through I ran to Abercrombie (yuck) to see if they would give me a bag (to fake her out). But they wouldn't. Then the "Alpaca boot store" didn't have anything big enough. Finally, I took the boots and started walking towards the pet store with an obvious bag. I went into store after store saying: "Look, I know this is weird, but I just bought my girlfriend a gift and she's here at the mall with me. I need a bag to put it into fake her out."
Finally, a girl at "The Limited" said she could help me. Gave me a nice bag, and covered it with tissue paper. I sprinted to the pet store, bag in hand, and met my girl. She asked, but I just ignored the whole thing and we played "guess the puppy." After I got it wrong three times in a row we played with the boxer for a while.
As we were leaving and getting into the car, I confessed... I said: "Baby, I'm so sorry, I know you think there's something for you in that bag. I feel awful. It's just a couple of shirts I saw on sale in the window. I bought them without even thinking. I hope you're not disappointed."
She said: "That was the secret? You thought I'd be disappointed? Even after you bought me these sunglasses? You're crazy! You worry about the dumbest things, sometimes. I know you can't afford to just buy me stuff all the time, and I don't expect it! Can I at least seem them now?" And I said: "Sure."
I'll never forget the look on her face when you pulled off the tissue paper and realized what was in there.(Punchline? "The Limited" is a women's-only store. Didn't know that. Apparently, she didn't either, so it worked out.)
So, I took her to the mall (she liked to look at the puppies at the pet store... well, we both did, but I pretended I didn't). She used to hold onto my arm as we walked. Well, this one time she started tugging on it... just enough to change my direction. I looked down at her and she said: "we should go over here." She led me into Journey's... some shoe store or something.
She was shopping around, and pointed out a pair of sunglasses, saying: "I used to have a pair just like those, but my last boyfriend thought they were stupid and wouldn't let me wear them when I was with him."
Taking my OBVIOUS cue, I told the girl that worked there to take them out so she could try them on. They were $12. She struck some poses and asked me what I thought. They were really cute on her and I told her so. Then she said, "well, I can't afford $12 for a pair of sunglasses, but thanks for letting me try them on." She put them down and found a pair of boots she liked.
"Aren't these wicked cute?" she asked. Frankly, I thought they were super ugly. They were knitted boots with "sherpa" patterns on them and they buttoned up on the side. But I told her to try them on... there's no point in falling in love with boots if they don't even feel good. She tried them on, and I told her to leave room for her comfy socks (I bought her some fuzzy socks because her feet get cold and she loved those socks). She picked out a size, and they fit well. I smiled at her as she wore them. She knew that I would sometimes spoil her, and she was unemployed and had not money. I would spoil her a little because it made ME feel good to see her so excited. And she said: "Please don't buy these for me."
I turned to the girl at the register and said: "Crazy girl thinks I'll just buy her whatever she wants!" I asked how much the boots were and said: "What?! For boots? That's ridiculous. Forget it. We'll take the sunglasses though."
She tried to stop me, but she was also super excited and actually wore them through the mall for a while. It was adorable to see how excited she was. We left the store, and decided to go to the pet store. She picks out the cutest puppy and I try to guess which one it is. So, I told her to go get a head start and that I was going to run to the bathroom really quickly. She said okay, and was on her way.
I ran back to Journey's, bought the boots and paid for them. As the transaction was going through I ran to Abercrombie (yuck) to see if they would give me a bag (to fake her out). But they wouldn't. Then the "Alpaca boot store" didn't have anything big enough. Finally, I took the boots and started walking towards the pet store with an obvious bag. I went into store after store saying: "Look, I know this is weird, but I just bought my girlfriend a gift and she's here at the mall with me. I need a bag to put it into fake her out."
Finally, a girl at "The Limited" said she could help me. Gave me a nice bag, and covered it with tissue paper. I sprinted to the pet store, bag in hand, and met my girl. She asked, but I just ignored the whole thing and we played "guess the puppy." After I got it wrong three times in a row we played with the boxer for a while.
As we were leaving and getting into the car, I confessed... I said: "Baby, I'm so sorry, I know you think there's something for you in that bag. I feel awful. It's just a couple of shirts I saw on sale in the window. I bought them without even thinking. I hope you're not disappointed."
She said: "That was the secret? You thought I'd be disappointed? Even after you bought me these sunglasses? You're crazy! You worry about the dumbest things, sometimes. I know you can't afford to just buy me stuff all the time, and I don't expect it! Can I at least seem them now?" And I said: "Sure."
I'll never forget the look on her face when you pulled off the tissue paper and realized what was in there.(Punchline? "The Limited" is a women's-only store. Didn't know that. Apparently, she didn't either, so it worked out.)
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