Daddy-daughter date night?

[lisab]

This creeps me out!

http://www.pnwlocalnews.com/south_king/aub/community/83045037.html" [Broken]

OK, am I just twisting an innocent, sweet family function into a Freudian psychosexual drama?

I can't help but think I wouldn't have enjoyed slow dancing with my dad...well, maybe as a preschooler, but not as a pre-teen. But then again, we didn't have a touchy-feely, lovey-dubby family. Do they have mother-son date nights anywhere?

Is it just me, or does this give anyone else the heebee-jeebees?

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

It seems a bit odd, of course I did not have a very close touchy feely family either. I found it odd watching some of the fathers on that dancing contest show dancing with their daughters.

Its does seem that lots of women are "daddy's girls" though. So maybe its not really that weird.

 

[Char. Limit]

Not really. If you actually expect inappropriate conduct between the father and the daughter, than your mental health should be evaluated. If you don't, why worry?

As a side note, it does promote familial interaction, which I'm all for. We need more familials interacting.

 

[Pythagorean]

I concur with Char, I hope my daughter is still affectionate with me at that age. Of course, I wouldn't have been caught dead dancing with my mother when I was there.

 

[hypatia]

I went on many Daddy and Daughter dates and dances. Some of the most wonderful memories of my life. I was always very proud of my Father.

I see nothing wrong with a parent and child spending time together in social settings.

 

[Borg]

I don't see the harm unless he tries to take home someone else's date. :tongue:

 

[Tobias Funke]

No, lisab, you're right-this is definitely weird. You can't really tell until you see the picture either, but that's the clincher. Weird.

And they most likely do have a mother-son event like this. At least they do on Arrested Development, and yeah they make fun of it on the show too.

 

[Borek]

I have mixed feelings as well, but I wonder if it is not just because we are bombarded from all sides with horror pedophilic stories (including those happening inside families).

There is nothing wrong with Dad hugging his daughter, after all that's one of the reasons we have kids - to hug them There is some line that should be not crossed, but I don't think it is being crossed here.

 

[leroyjenkens]

I'm usually the first to realize something is creepy, but this just isn't triggering my creepy detector. My family definitely isn't like that. My dad and sister were arch-enemies, so I definitely can't relate. But if I ever have a daughter, I'd hope we could have a good relationship where we can dance together. You know, the kind of relationship where we actually like each other. That's somewhat foreign to me right now.

 

[Pinu7]

This seems fine and cute.

 

[Moonbear]

I don't understand what the problem is with this? It's just a way for parents to spend time with their kids. At that young age, I loved to dance with my dad or grandpa. That's how I learned to dance (could've used a few more lessons though). My dad and I got along great; it's my mom who embarrassed me and I wouldn't want to be seen with in public.

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

I have had several female friends who were molested by their fathers at that age. Hearing stories from friends about their fathers having them dress up pretty to take them out on father daughter dates where they would be forced to perform fellatio and other such things gives you a bit of a different view on these things.

That's not to say that all or even a particularly significant number of fathers that do these sorts of dates are molesting their daughters, but it still colours my perspective.

 

[lisab]

I have had several female friends who were molested by their fathers at that age. Hearing stories from friends about their fathers having them dress up pretty to take them out on father daughter dates where they would be forced to perform fellatio and other such things gives you a bit of a different view on these things.

That's not to say that all or even a particularly significant number of fathers that do these sorts of dates are molesting their daughters, but it still colours my perspective.

I've known women with similar experiences and that definitely affects my perspective as well.

Plus, when I was a daughter I never went through the "I want to marry daddy" phase, which some girls do (perfectly normal girls, I realize).

Of course I see nothing wrong with parents spending time with their children - I'm a mom and a daughter, after all. I just don't call the time spent together "dates."

 

[Klockan3]

I have had several female friends who were molested by their fathers at that age.

That sounds like a lot, are you sure all of them are speaking the truth? I know that there is a breed of females who can say things like that just to get people to feel pity. My mother and my ex stepmother are like that. Or, I should really say humans, but I have no experience of males saying that they were sexually harassed. Too much shame to even be joked about there.

 

[junglebeast]

I don't think there's anything wrong with a father taking his daughter out for dinner. However, calling it a "date" and them a "couple" (as in this article) is disturbing as these words have a purely intimate meaning.

 

[rootX]

Some parents shower with their children also?

Creepy for me.

 

[Klockan3]

Some parents shower with their children also?

Creepy for me.

Some even share bed with their kids at times :yuck:

 

[Moonbear]

Of course I see nothing wrong with parents spending time with their children - I'm a mom and a daughter, after all. I just don't call the time spent together "dates."

Oh, you're reacting to the word "date?" I glossed over that. I guess I use the term date in a broader sense, and assumed that's the point with this sort of event too. A "date" can just mean a scheduled appointment or meeting. I don't use the word only to mean meeting a prospective romantic partner, but even with female friends when we schedule a night out, "Okay, then we've got a date, see you there!"

I can understand someone who was a victim of child molestation having unusual and negative reaction to a normal parent-child social situation, but just knowing someone who was molested shouldn't distort one's perspective of normal social situations that much. It doesn't seem quite normal to see this as anything other than a way for dads to do something with daughters, especially if their daughters are more of the "girly girl" type who would rather go dress up for dinner and dancing than go fishing or playing ball or some such, or if the dads are more of the sort of guy who isn't really all that into things like sports himself, and enjoys a good meal and ballroom dancing type activities.

 

[Proton Soup]

ah, i think it's mostly just that wanting to be treated like a princess thing that many girls have. maybe if you have a tomgirl, you should just take her fishing or hunting or something.

 

[Evo]

I find the "date night' thing very creepy. Father/daughter night would have been more than sufficient.

 

[Chi Meson]

As a father with an almost-nine-year-old daughter, count me among the "creeped out."

I do lots of one-on-one things with Nell. Lots of games, walks, and equestrian events mostly. If this date night is the way for some to connect, then fine I won't judge them.

But I will never, ever sign up.

 

[Newai]

That sounds like a lot, are you sure all of them are speaking the truth? I know that there is a breed of females who can say things like that just to get people to feel pity. My mother and my ex stepmother are like that. Or, I should really say humans, but I have no experience of males saying that they were sexually harassed. Too much shame to even be joked about there.

In the absence of motive and agenda beyond just telling the stories, I would take the report seriously instead of imputing one's own experiences with liars on others. If the report went further, into direct accusation, then I would hold reservation for sake of my ignorance.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Huh, "creepy" was never a word that came to mind in this context. While I understand the connection to abuse cases, esp for anyone privy to or a victim of abuse, the dad date idea has always struck me as a wholesome way for dads to connect with their daughters as young women - no longer as little girls. I can see where this is a good thing. Boys look for acceptance as young men, and not boys. As for acceptance by dad, a boy might gain a sense of manhood through time spent together inr competitive, recreational, or even domestic and work activies. For many boys, unfortunately, back when I was a kid, it was a pretty big moment when dad let them sneak their first drink of alcohol. As for mothers, they are usually the first to oooh and ahhhh over their handsome sons. But I must admit that as a teenager, I wouldn't have been caught dead on a "date" with my mother. Up to age twelve or so that would have been fine. And until then we did have our occcasional special night out; just us. But by the teen years that was over.

 

[Char. Limit]

I'm still in my teen years (yay!) and I can say that the last comment is right: I would never be caught dead taking my mother to a date night.

I'm not female, so it might be a different story for fathers and daughters.

If a father is sexually molesting his daughter, I doubt he'd take her out in public on a "date night". He would have to be stupid as well as sick to do that.

How many fathers do you seriously think abuse their daughters, anyway?

Away from the abuse, my high-school is having a mother-son tea thing for seniors (I'm one of them.) I'm going, as my mom wants to, but I wouldn't go if it was labeled a "mother-son date night".

 

[Math Is Hard]

Mom and son date night:
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/57d7bb01ad/olive-garden-incest-commercial

 

[ideasrule]

"Date" does seem like a strange choice of words for an otherwise innocuous activity. I really wonder why they didn't choose "dance night". Wording fail?

 

[DaveC426913]

No, lisab, you're right-this is definitely weird. You can't really tell until you see the picture either, but that's the clincher. Weird.

No, what's really creepy is the ad on that Daddy-Daughter site.

Pedosphere?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

I'm lost here. Why is the word "date" a big deal.

When I think back to what I did on dates, I don't see...

nevermind.

 

[zomgwtf]

I'm not really sure why it matters... why assume that all fathers want to take their daughters out for a nice night intend to molest them afterwards or ever... My sister is definitely a daddys girl, they don't go out on 'date nights' but I can really see no problem if they HAD. (maybe jealousy from me and my brother when we were younger...)

What's wrong with calling it a 'date' as well? If I go out with friends we could call it a date, is that creepy? Me going out on date nights with a friend? To me a date is just a a situation where you spend the 'date time' together with a person which is planned and meant to increase the bond between them.

 

[Phrak]

I don't think there's anything wrong with a father taking his daughter out for dinner. However, calling it a "date" and them a "couple" (as in this article) is disturbing as these words have a purely intimate meaning.

Yeah, well, the intent of the journalist was to invoke disturbing ideas to see what would bounce back. More bounce, more journalistic action. First we are presented with the daughter looking lovingly into her father's eyes. (Kudos to the camera man.) Then we get the sexually provocative key words.

If you think this is a matter of concern, you've been had. Not you in particular, junglebeast. Just, anyone. No offense. It is the imperative of journalists to make news when none is had.

 

[Zantra]

Father of a teenaged daughter here, and with all due respect to opinions here, I think this is blown out of proportion. While "date" might be poor phrasing, unless it's being hosted by MAMBLA, I seriously doubt there was anything to be inferred from a daddy/daughter function.

To those who've had some exposure to molestations, I can understand but you're seeing something very wrong where there is nothing. It's similar to someone who recovers from alcoholism, but then sees every drink taken as a path to ruin.

I would like to think that if my daughter thought I was "cool enough" to want to hang out with for a night that I wouldn't get weird stares for dancing with my daughter. There can be that close bond, after all, without it being sexual or in any way inappropriate. Those of you who find that odd, may have had a family dynamic where the father and daughter weren't that close. That doesn't mean everything has to have sexual overtures. and it doesn't mean daddy's a pedophile the vast majority of cases.

 

[Pythagorean]

Hypotheses:

1. People who's parent(s) weren't affectionate with them don't see affection until their first love (or sex partner) so they associate affection with sexuality from then on.

2. The words "date" and "couple" mean different things in different regions. I wonder if it's west coast vs. east coast or what? I would be considered west coast and this doesn't bother me. The article was written out of WA.

3. The particular father-daughter relationships of participants of this thread may be strained. For instance, if a mean, teenage daughter always acts disgusted and embarrassed by her father, her father might react in the way his daughter generally does, by being disgusted and embarrassed at the thought of a date night (as a defense mechanism).

Yes, I'm taking abnormal psych right now, I apologize in advance.

 

[Char. Limit]

It might be #2. I'm also from WA, and this doesn't creep me out a bit. (I'm even from the conservative (read: eastern) part of Washington)

 

[ideasrule]

I would like to think that if my daughter thought I was "cool enough" to want to hang out with for a night that I wouldn't get weird stares for dancing with my daughter.

That's a big "if". Have you asked your daughter whether she would ever go to the "date night" discussed in this thread? I don't know anything about your family or where you live, but I feel 99% certain the answer will be "no".

 

[Chi Meson]

No, lisab, you're right-this is definitely weird. You can't really tell until you see the picture either, but that's the clincher. Weird.

And they most likely do have a mother-son event like this. At least they do on Arrested Development, and yeah they make fun of it on the show too.

"Motherboy"!

Not associated with the band also called "Motherboy," who rocked "pretty hard" in the 80s.

We are legally obligated to make this distinction.