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Dating a heart broken girl

  1. Apr 21, 2013 #1
    I was going out with this awesome girl. After telling her how I liked hanging out with her, she was receptive and that day ended with good notes. A few days after while we were chatting, she told me she is still heart broken and is not ready for a relationship. She mentioned we should be friends. She used to be very eager to hang out with me before she told me this. She became less interested in my messages and chats after that. She still replies to my messages but after a day or so. Given that I text her less now(once in three days or so) just to ask how she is doing. I like this girl but is it wise to be dating someone who is not so sure about me? I am as confused as to what I should do next. any advices from PF community will be appreciated for a noob like me

    peace and thanks
  2. jcsd
  3. Apr 21, 2013 #2

    Simon Bridge

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    You are correct - it is not uncommon for someone to be running a little hot and cold when they are recovering from a breakup so her behavior is plausible. Perhaps she thought she may be ready to start again but discovered she wasn't.

    It could also be a way to let you down gently after she gave you a chance.

    Either way your best approach is the same - be sensitive and stand back.
    You should tell her you want to give her the space she needs and to contact you when she wants to see you again, hang out, whatever ... and then don't call or message her again until she does so. Don't hold a torch though.
  4. Apr 22, 2013 #3
    Sounds like a fickle mistress. Don't waste your time.
  5. Apr 23, 2013 #4


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    Well, at least she told you.

    If she was in a serious relationship that recently failed, she may not wish to immediately get into another one. She used to be very eager to hang out with you before you told her how you liked hanging out with her. She probably valued you as a friend, partly because there was no commitment [to hang out].

    One should give the young lady some space. Dating doesn't seem to be an option at the moment.
  6. Apr 23, 2013 #5
    Thank you Simon, Lavabug and Astronuc for your advices. I agree with your explanations.
    I have to admit there was some level of desperation and immaturity in my part. Since
    it has been a while I have been dating, I had some expectations. But now I have taken a step back and avoided messaging her in the past few days. I will keep this to for future, remain as a friend and reply when she contacts me only. Thank you once again, what I needed was a confirmation that I should move on.
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