Can I Date My TA at My New College?

  • Thread starter Azuri
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In summary, the person is a second-year college student who is transferring to a school where her boyfriend is a TA for a class she needs to take. They have been dating for three years and are 21 and 19 years old. The person is concerned about the potential conflict of interest and whether her boyfriend could get fired or in trouble if their relationship is discovered. They have been advised to either take the course over the summer with a different TA or have her boyfriend request someone else TA the course. The person also asked if the scenario would be different if they were married or in a common law relationship.
  • #1
Azuri
Hey I'm in my second year of college and I am actually transferring next semester. The concern is the school I am transferring to is the school my boyfriend is a TA at. I know I am going to be in his class because one of the main reasons I am transferring is because the school has my major and the class required which is only taught by one professor and his one TA. My boyfriend and I have been dating for three years. He just turned 21 and I am 19. Would this be a problem at the new college, would he get fired or in trouble if found out or does the fact that we had a relationship prior negate that? Any and all answers would be helpful, thanks.
 
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  • #2
Azuri said:
Would this be a problem at the new college, would he get fired or in trouble if found out or does the fact that we had a relationship prior negate that?

Probably. You would have to check the school's policies, but it is nearly certain that this would not be permitted.
 
  • #3
To the OP:

I have a few questions:

(1) Is it possible to take the required class for your major earlier in your present school, to bypass having your boyfriend as TA?

(2) Is it possible to wait a bit before taking the required class for your major so that you would have a different professor and/or different TA? In most schools that I'm aware of, the TA for a course can change from year to year, even if the professor stays the same.

(3) Is it possible for your boyfriend to speak to his professor to request someone else TA the course while you are taking it? This would avoid the conflict of interest that schools are generally concerned about.
 
  • #4
Thanks for the help I asked and they said I could take the course over the summer with a difderent TA .
 
  • #5
And if they were married or common law relationship - does that change the scenario? Sometimes the rules do does seem overly restrictive.
 
  • #6
Grading one's spouse is clearly a conflict of interest, no?
 

1. Can I get in trouble for dating my TA at my new college?

It depends on the policies of your specific college. Some institutions have strict rules against relationships between students and TAs, while others may allow it as long as there is no conflict of interest or abuse of power. It's important to check your school's policies and communicate openly with your TA to make sure your relationship is within the boundaries set by your college.

2. Will my TA's job be at risk if we start dating?

Again, this will depend on your college's policies and the specific circumstances of your relationship. If your TA is in a position of power over you, such as grading your work or supervising your studies, their job may be at risk if the relationship is discovered. However, if there is no conflict of interest, their job may not be in danger. It's important to discuss this with your TA and understand the potential consequences before pursuing a relationship.

3. How can I tell if my TA is interested in me?

It's important to remember that your TA is in a position of authority and it may be inappropriate for them to express romantic interest in you. However, if you are both interested in each other, it's important to communicate openly and honestly about your feelings. Keep in mind that your TA may be hesitant to pursue a relationship due to the potential consequences, so it's important to respect their boundaries and approach the situation carefully.

4. Is it okay to date a former TA who is now a professor at my college?

This situation can be tricky and may also depend on your college's policies. If your TA is now a professor and no longer in a position of authority over you, it may be more acceptable to date them. However, it's important to be aware of any potential conflicts of interest, such as if your professor is teaching a class you are enrolled in. It's always best to check with your college's policies and communicate openly with your professor before pursuing a relationship.

5. What should I do if I develop feelings for my TA?

If you find yourself developing feelings for your TA, it's important to take a step back and evaluate the situation. Consider the potential consequences and whether or not it's worth risking your academic or professional relationship. If you do decide to pursue a relationship, make sure to communicate openly with your TA and be respectful of their boundaries. If you feel uncomfortable or unsure about the situation, it's always best to seek advice from a trusted mentor or advisor at your college.

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