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Deductive Essay

  1. Nov 30, 2005 #1
    I would appericate it if someone here could look over my essay and post some comments.

    The things to look for are:

    Varied wording

    Grammer and spelling

    Good sentence structure

    Good paragraphs

    Verb tense

    Anything else that you find wrong with the paper.

    It's suppose to be MLA and I left off the works cited page and title page

    Sorry about the formatting...
     
  2. jcsd
  3. Nov 30, 2005 #2
    Ah, I love essays!:rofl:

    Getting a graduate level degree can have a lasting positive for anyone who wants to get ahead in his or her career.

    I don't know about anyone else but this sentence sounds like it's missing something between "positive" and "for"...Maybe writing something like the following would be better...

    "Obtaining a graduate level degree can positively influence your ability to advance in your career."

    "Acquiring a graduate level degree can mean all the difference in advancing your career."


    Something like that.:smile:

    I don't much care for the wording of this part: It is better to keep going after four years of undergraduate work or is it better to spend some time working and then move on to higher education. For most people the best choice is to get a few years of experience working before heading off to graduate school.

    Maybe you should try something along the lines of...

    "Two decisions people looking to go to graduate school have are continuing on with their education immediately after finishing with their undergraduate studies or spending time working in their chosen field before starting their studies on the graduate level. It would seem that, for most people, the best choice is to gain some work experience before moving on to graduate school."

    I'd change informed (In order to make an informed decision it is important to look at both the reasons for going directly to graduate school and for getting some experience prior to more school.) to intelligent but that may be just my preference.:smile:

    The same goes for totally (After four years of undergraduate work, students are totally primed and ready to take on the challenges of higher education.) but, again, that may be just my preference. I'd go for something less "radical":tongue: ...maybe completely or entirely. Now that I think about it though, I'd take out primed or ready because they are relatively similar. Try "After four years of undergraduate work, students are confident in their abilities/studies and are ready to take on the challenges of higher education." Something like that.

    One more reason is that most traditional students are still relatively free of burdens. After a few years of living in the real world many people will get married and have kids and other that can interfere with his or her education.

    I'd reword that as well..."Yet another reason is that most traditional students are still relatively free from burden. After a few years of living in the real world, some people may get married and have kids, things that'll interfere with the student's education."

    I haven't the time to finish the rest of your work but, if I remember and if you have more time, I'll come back if you'd like. My rewording of things may just be my preference but it's entirely up to you.:biggrin:
     
  4. Nov 30, 2005 #3
    That's awesome....tonight after my classes are over I will make some changes...and post the updated essay.

    Thanks for your help. And if you could go through the rest of it, that would be really cool of you.
     
  5. Nov 30, 2005 #4
    Geez, I had this done about an hour or so ago but this site wouldn't load for me.:grumpy: Anyways, here it is. I bolded everything I changed just so you could keep what changes I made or choose to get rid of them as I didn't know if I changed too much. I italicized some things such as quotes and certain words for emphasis if you don't mind.:smile:

    ~~**~~

    Acquiring a graduate level degree can mean all the difference in advancing your career. One of the biggest decisions for people who are planning to go to graduate school is when to go to graduate school. Two decisions people looking to go to graduate school have are continuing on with their education immediately after finishing with their undergraduate studies or spending time working in their chosen field before starting their studies on the graduate level. It would seem that, for most people, the best choice is to gain some work experience before moving on to graduate school.

    In order to make an intelligent decision, it is important to look at both the reasons for and consequences of going directly to graduate school and for gaining some work experience prior to additional schooling. One reason for staying in school is students have spent the last four years gaining momentum. After four years of undergraduate work, students are confident in their abilities/studies and are ready to take on the challenges of higher education. Taking a few years off will break a student’s old routine of studying and doing homework.

    Besides that, some jobs require an advanced degree to start at an entry-level position. One source says, “A Ph.D. degree in mathematics usually is the minimum education needed for prospective mathematicians, except in the Federal Government. In the Federal Government, entry-level job candidates usually must have a 4-year degree with a major in mathematics or a 4-year degree with the equivalent of a mathematics major—24 semester hours of mathematics courses.” (U.S. Department of Labor) Clearly, for anyone who wants to work in the private sector as a mathematician, having an advanced degree is required. Yet another reason is that most traditional students are still relatively free from burden. After a few years of living in the real world, some people may get married and have kids, things that'll interfere with the student's education.

    There are many benefits to getting a job and working for several years prior to diving into advanced degree work. First of all, after sixteen years of schooling, most people are ready for a break from education. College classes cover a very broad spectrum of a specific discipline. Most jobs require you to be an expert in just one small area and they expect you to know how to do that job well. Applying for a job in the student's field of interest will allow them to gain the type of work experience he or she will need in order to choose which graduate program that'll best fit the line of work they plan on entering into. After all, some people may discover their chosen field does not require a graduate level degree, “The business-school placement director, who also has a career counseling business, said an M.B.A. is a good move if you want to advance at Fortune 500 companies. Otherwise, he said, it might not be worth your while.” (Sahadi) It is vital that a student know if going to graduate school is the right thing for him or her. To put it another way, “…if you’re Not sure it will pay off-however you define “pay off”- then those are valuable years you won’t get back.” (Sahadi)

    There are even some graduate programs that require applicants to have some work experience before being eligible for the program. In this case, the decision has already been made for the student if they still choose that path, the only thing he or she needing to worry about being where to work. According to the University of Indiana, admissions department, "Some programs (e.g., higher education and special education) require work experience prior to admission”. (Graduate Admissions) On top of that, if the student in question decides to take the opportunity to get some work experience, he or she will have matured and gained a better perspective of work and education.

    Personally, after having spent eight years working in the Navy, I’ve come to realize how much of an impact having a degree could have on my life. The time I spent working showed me that, to get ahead in life, I need more education. Most people realize that when the need arises. This realization can help motivate people to succeed in an advanced degree.

    Another very important aspect of getting a job after college is that many companies offer a “tuition assistance program” that could be used to pay for more schooling. A quick look around the web reveals hundreds of companies that offer a tuition reimbursement program. Apparently, this is an underutilized benefit, “However, despite the availability of such benefits for working professionals, only a small percentage of employees take advantage of TAP.” (Tuition Assistance Programs) Four years of undergraduate course-work alone is quite expensive but adding on the cost of up to four or more years of graduate school is even more financially stressful. It only makes sense to look for better way of financing your education.

    Making the right decision isn't always easy. For some people, the answer is simple since he or she does not have a choice in the matter. For example, as was aforementioned, some graduate programs require work experience. There are benefits on both sides however. Going straight to school allows you to keep your momentum; going to work allows you to gain experience. The choice is mainly subjective though as each individual is different.
     
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