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Deep Thoughts

  1. May 21, 2005 #1

    Ivan Seeking

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    A thread for new or used Deep Thoughts.

    Here are a few from my collection; not in the true tradition of Deep Thoughts, but it's a start.

    - Unknown

    – an ancient Chinese proverb.

    - some guy's shirt on TV

    - Robert Stack; Airplane.

    - Carol OConner; All in the Family

    – unknown biologist

    - President George Bush Jr.

    - Evo. :surprised :biggrin:
  2. jcsd
  3. May 21, 2005 #2
    President Bush always has some amusing quote I have never heard before.
  4. May 21, 2005 #3


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    Dearly Missed

    Gandalf in Moria.
  5. May 21, 2005 #4


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    - Chef from South Park

    He was really talking about football, but I am a hockey player who can't stand football, so I changed it just a bit.
  6. May 21, 2005 #5
    "The majority of our import comes from other countries..."

    :rofl: :rofl:
  7. May 21, 2005 #6
    Please refrain from misquoting cartoon characters to suit your idiosynchratic taste in sports.
  8. May 21, 2005 #7
    "physics is much too hard for physicists" - Hilbert
    "travelling through hyperspace isn't like dusting crops, boy" - han solo
    "All men are mortal. Socrates was mortal. Therefore, all men are Socrates" - woody allen
    "In mathematics you don't understand things. You just get used to them" - john von neumann
    "Television is something the Russians invented to destroy American education" - paul erdos
    "Either mathematics is too big for the human mind or the human mind is more than a machine" - kurt godel (i assume he means exclusive 'or')
    "I am a passenger on the spaceship, Earth - buckminster fuller
    "The organic unity of mathematics is inherent in the nature of this science, for mathematics is the foundation of all exact knowledge of natural phenomena. That it may completely fulfil this high mission, may the new century bring it gifted masters and many zealous and enthusiastic disciples!" - hilbert, 1900 icm
    "After ages during which the earth produced harmless trilobites and butterflies, evolution has progressed to the point at which it has produced Neros, Ghengis Khans & Hitlers. This, however, I believe is a passing nightmare; in time the earth will become again incapable of supporting life, and peace will return" - bertrand russell
    "finally i am becoming stupider no more" - paul erdos' epitaph
  9. May 22, 2005 #8


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    You can't have a Deep Thoughts thread without Dan Quayle:
    (not really a Deep Thought, but...)
    Dan (shaking hands at rally): I'm Dan Quayle. Who are you?
    Woman: I'm your Secret Service agent.

    - It isn't pollution that is hurting the environment, it's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.
    - If we don't succeed we run the risk of failure.
    - We are not ready for an unforseen event that may or may not occur.
    - Hawaii is a unique state. It is a small state. It is a state that is by itself. It is a --it is different from the other 49 states. Well, all states are different, but it's got a particularly unique situation.
    - It is wonderful to be here today in the great state of Chicago.
    - It's time for the human race to enter the solar system!
    - I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix.
    - What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.
    - A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
    - I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican.
    - Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.
    - We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a *part* of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a *part* of Europe.
    - Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts.
    - For NASA, space is still a high priority.
    - When I have been asked during these last weeks who caused the riots and the killing in L.A., my answer has been direct and simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame.
    - One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.
    - I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change.
    - The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century.
    - Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children.
    - We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world.
  10. May 22, 2005 #9


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    Those have to beat anything Bush ever said. :rofl:

    Ok, who moved the smilies again???? :grumpy:
  11. May 22, 2005 #10
    Those Quayle quotes are fantastic.
  12. May 22, 2005 #11


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    Multiplication is the same as division :wink:
  13. May 22, 2005 #12


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    Anyone know when Deep Thoughts started? I wouldn't be surprised if Quayle was the inspiration.
  14. May 22, 2005 #13
    Some english from the late Mitch Hedberg:

    I saw a human pyramid once. It was totally unnecessary.

    If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fuked up.

    You know they call corn-on-the-cob, "corn-on-the-cob", but that's how it comes out of the ground. They should just call it corn, and every other type of corn, corn-off-the-cob. It's not like if someone cut off my arm they would call it "Mitch", and then re-attached it, and call it "Mitch-all-together".

    I haven't slept for 10 days, cause that would be too long.
    Last edited: May 22, 2005
  15. May 22, 2005 #14


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    The set of primes is closed under multiplication.
  16. May 22, 2005 #15

    Ivan Seeking

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    I think somebody should come up with a way to breed a very large shrimp. That way, you could ride him, then after you camped at night, you could eat him. How about it, science?

    For mad scientists who keep brains in jars, here's a tip: Why not add a slice of lemon to each jar, for freshness.

    I hope they never find out that lightning has a lot of vitamins in it, because do you hide from it or not?

    Once while walking through the mall a guy came up to me and said "Hey, hows it going?". So I grabbed his arm and twisted it up behind his head and said "Now whose asking the questions?"

    I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.

    Jack Handey"Deep+Thoughts"+"first+aired"&hl=en
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 21, 2017
  17. May 22, 2005 #16
    some brainy brian mulroney (pm of canada 1984-1993) quotes:
    "I am not denying anything I did not say."

    "In politics, madame, you need two things: friends, but above all an enemy"

    "The biggest trading partner of the United States is not West Germany or Japan, it's right here."

    "there's no whore like an old whore" (re: corruption)

    "Popularity's bad for you. I avoid it like the plague. And I've been reasonably successful" (eventually his approval rating would be stuck at ~8% for 6 months before he finally resigned)

    "If I were the President [of the United States] I would wake up every morning and say, 'thank God for Canada. Now what can I do for Canada?"

    "Perfection is not likely to be something associated with me."

    "The national income per capita – which in relative terms is in steady decline, now more than 35 % lower than the United States. Within 10 years, if the present trends continue, our per capita income will be 50 % that of the U.S." (in 2001 re: nafta which he negotiated)
    Last edited: May 22, 2005
  18. May 22, 2005 #17


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    If you're able to keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, then to many it will appear that you don't understand the gravity of the situation. :biggrin:

    Man will occassionally stumble over the truth . . . but most of the time he just stumbles. :biggrin:

    authors unknown


    I think Bush has borrowed quotes from Quayle. :rolleyes:
  19. May 22, 2005 #18
    "ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which i shall not put" - winston churchill
  20. May 22, 2005 #19


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    My grade school teacher had a story about ending sentences with prepositions which to this day makes me cringe. All I can remember is something about two guys talking about ewes (which they pronounced eewees). When I see a sentence like "where are you going to?" all I can think is EEWEES. :surprised
  21. May 22, 2005 #20


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    Ewes? :uhh: Did someone say 'ewes'? :tongue2:
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