Soul mates: A dangerous belief or a romantic ideal?

[yelopq]

Do u believe in soul mates?
i believe in, how about u?

 

[arildno]

Not any longer.

 

[Danger]

Since I'm an Atheist, there's no such thing as a soul. Therefore, the concept of a soul-mate is meaningless.

 

[Evo]

Do u believe in soul mates?
i believe in, how about u?

Please do not use abbreviated "text speak", you need to type all words out.

 

[Siv]

Not as in one person destined for another etc. But yes, some people are far more likely to get along and have good chemistry. So in that sense, you might have a group of people who you're better suited to.

 

[GeorginaS]

Do u believe in soul mates?

No

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

Sometimes, if I come home too late without phoning in, my wife can be pretty sour.

 

[G037H3]

I do! You guys are so dreary. :)

 

[Evo]

My shoes have sole mates.

 

[turbo]

I have two soles and they are opposites. My dog has 4. Maybe that's why he acts so "holier than thou" sometimes.

 

[DanP]

Do u believe in soul mates?

No

I do. You are my soulmate, Regina.

 

[nucleargirl]

lol!
I don't know if we have souls, but I like the idea of a soul mate! like your twin - but not your twin obviously, more like someone who is so similar to you that they just get you. Yeah, like that. Its fun when you find someone like that - you can be soulmates together!

 

[Upisoft]

I will never allow someone to mate with my soul...

 

[turbo]

Back to topic. My wife and I met over 36 years ago. I was smitten right away, and she was not (so much). We cohabitated for a few months and I proposed. We had no money for a formal wedding so we arranged to be married by one of her school-mates who had become a JP with our two best friends in attendance. Jane (the JP) was best-dressed by far! The rest of us wore jeans and T's, and we all sat around our tiny apartment drinking cheap sparkling wine. I'm pretty sure that I'm going to keep her, and I haven't woken up to find my clothes on the curb, so I guess she's keeping me.

Soul-mate? I don't know. We both have school-mates that have been married 3 times or more. We're a lot more solid than that. One time she got ticked off and spent a night at her mother's house. A "trial separation" that lasted overnight at best. Find someone that you can't live without and make the effort to make sure that they can't live without you.

 

[Lacy33]

"believe in" no. Looking into, yup.

 

[Jack21222]

Do u believe in soul mates?
i believe in, how about u?

No, I see no mechanism by which this could work, but I'm open to read peer-reviewed studies that show otherwise.

 

[JaredJames]

I think I agree with nucleargirl. It's just two people who compliment each other extremely well.
I think this comes down to your own interpretation of "soul mate" however and so would differ for each person.

Jack, what mechanism are you looking for? We'd have to define and agree upon what we consider a soul mate to be before we can judge whether or not it exists. Under my own basic description I think they could exist, but not in the "meant to be together/supernatural attraction" way.

 

[GeorginaS]

Do u believe in soul mates?

No

I do. You are my soulmate, Regina.

Hrm, not sure what to make of that. Play your cards right, and keep saying my name wrong, and we may just get somewhere, though.

 

[FrancisZ]

I think I agree with nucleargirl. It's just two people who compliment each other extremely well.
I think this comes down to your own interpretation of "soul mate" however and so would differ for each person.

Jack, what mechanism are you looking for? We'd have to define and agree upon what we consider a soul mate to be before we can judge whether or not it exists. Under my own basic description I think they could exist, but not in the "meant to be together/supernatural attraction" way.

I agree: This is a deeply religious question. Chances are, if you believe in souls, then you also believe in God--and that it is by his/her/it's design, that a couple should meet and become devoted to one another. That certainly is romantic at least.

Still, in response to the question: I don't KNOW if soulmates exist--just as I don't KNOW that God exists. I merely know that I WANT, PRAY, and LOOK FOR each (God and love). I make the effort, even despite the lack of evidence.

I certainly have FELT like I had a soulmate; and I regard her always as the one and only for me.

Not to complicate things even worse, but I should just like to explain one other thing also...

I definitely experience knowing (really: thinking) and feeling as two different things. I don't know if anyone else does. I used to assume other people did; until they corrected me one day. And that's honestly the only reason why I mention it now (for fear of putting other people off).

Knowing--thinking--to me is purely rational; and so it is done naturally with greater certitude, on my part. Not that I'm always right though, in the end. Very frequently in fact--post-explosion--I discover that my original reasoning had to have been incorrect. Still, the truth was there (somewhere), waiting to be discovered.

Feeling, however, is much more emotional to me (and there isn't really any truth value to debate, to any of the decisions I've made in the manner of emotion).

E.g. I KNOW I ought to get the compact car: (1) because it's better for the environment; (2) it's potentially better for the economy; and (3) it'll save money on gasoline. And yet, even in spite of all that sound logic, I still FEEL like I should get the blue gas guzzler--just because I like the way it looks!

lol!
I don't know if we have souls, but I like the idea of a soul mate! like your twin - but not your twin obviously, more like someone who is so similar to you that they just get you. Yeah, like that. Its fun when you find someone like that - you can be soulmates together!

Jayne was my polar opposite; and truthfully, my better in every way that I value. She made me a better person being with her. Perhaps that was the initial attraction.

In thinking of her, I am often reminded of a line from that TNT film: Caesar (0:19)...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMq9t9T3Zto&NR

Hrm, not sure what to make of that. Play your cards right, and keep saying my name wrong, and we may just get somewhere, though.

Got to love the beehive and glasses.

 

[DanP]

Hrm, not sure what to make of that. Play your cards right, and keep saying my name wrong, and we may just get somewhere, though.

 

[DanP]

E.g. I KNOW I ought to get the compact car: (1) because it's better for the environment; (2) it's potentially better for the economy; and (3) it'll save money on gasoline. And yet, even in spite of all that sound logic, I still FEEL like I should get the blue gas guzzler--just because I like the way it looks!

Get the fast monster if you can afford it. Or a nice 4WD if you live countryside. All sleek fast things are awesome.

You know why you crave for the fast thing. Because it's ... you :P Anyway, your car won't save the environment, nor the economy, so you may as-well forget little compact things.
Get the shiniest toy you can afford

 

[FrancisZ]

Get the fast monster if you can afford it. Or a nice 4WD if you live countryside. All sleek fast things are awesome.

You know why you crave for the fast thing. Because it's ... you :P Anyway, your car won't save the environment, nor the economy, so you may as-well forget little compact things.
Get the shiniest toy you can afford

To be honest, I'm pretty much priced out of the market at the moment either way.

 

[Siv]

I agree: This is a deeply religious question. Chances are, if you believe in souls, then you also believe in God--and that it is by his/her/it's design, that a couple should meet and become devoted to one another. That certainly is romantic at least.

Still, in response to the question: I don't KNOW if soulmates exist--just as I don't KNOW that God exists. I merely know that I WANT, PRAY, and LOOK FOR each (God and love). I make the effort, even despite the lack of evidence.

Um... not necessarily.

While I agree both are romantic ideas, people may still believe there is someone best suited to them even if they don't believe in a personal god.

 

[FrancisZ]

Um... not necessarily.

While I agree both are romantic ideas, people may still believe there is someone best suited to them even if they don't believe in a personal god.

Not that it has been clearly defined yet. But my understanding of a "soul mate" (at least in the traditional sense of the word--which you don't seem to be aware of), is that persons are predestined for one another. And that is usually in keeping with notions of a creator manipulating the both of you.

You're talking about basic compatibility. And yes, I do agree, people can be compatible and not necessarily be soul mates. But if you believe in that sort of thing, you might prefer your partner to be both of course.

 

[AlexES16]

No i don't believe in soul mates, it makes me vulnerable.

 

[JaredJames]

No i don't believe in soul mates, it makes me vulnerable.

So you do believe in them, you just fear meeting one as it would make you vulnerable?

(I felt the two statements from yourself were a bit contradictory.)

 

[mugaliens]

No i don't believe in soul mates, it makes me vulnerable.

I think you're being facetious.

Of course meeting our soul mate makes us vulnerable They're the very person we'd bare all too, six ways to Sunday.

I thought I'd found such a person a few years back. I married her.

 

[Jack21222]

Under my own basic description I think they could exist, but not in the "meant to be together/supernatural attraction" way.

The word "soul mate" has those connotations, along with the suggestion that there's only one for each person.

Otherwise, you're just talking about "two people that would make a good couple."

 

[JaredJames]

The word "soul mate" has those connotations, along with the suggestion that there's only one for each person.

Otherwise, you're just talking about "two people that would make a good couple."

And that's what I believe they are. Only they'd make a very good couple.

The whole supernatural stuff is rubbish and the "meant to be together" issue, well that's basically what I was putting with supernatural. The whole idea that people are destined to find each other. I just don't accept that.

 

[Jack21222]

And that's what I believe they are. Only they'd make a very good couple.

The whole supernatural stuff is rubbish and the "meant to be together" issue, well that's basically what I was putting with supernatural. The whole idea that people are destined to find each other. I just don't accept that.

I wouldn't use the term "soul mate" without the supernatural connotation.

Much like I wouldn't call an attractive woman "scrawny" when I mean "thin." The dictionary definitions may be the same, but they connote different things.

 

[NobodySpecial]

I didn't used to until Seigfried and Roy

What are the chances of two gay magicians who both like tigers meeting each other in Las Vegas - it's like a fairytale

 

[lisab]

I didn't used to until Seigfried and Roy

What are the chances of two gay magicians who both like tigers meeting each other in Las Vegas - it's like a fairytale

Aaaahahahahaha...holy crap, you're right! There must be a God!

 

[Moonbear]

No, I don't believe in soul mates. I seem to have more experience with star-crossed lovers. :tongue:

I actually would take it a step further than what others here have said about it having a religious connotation and being a meaningless term for those who are not religious. I think the term is dangerous. If someone believes in soul mates, it might hinder them from getting out of a relationship that has turned bad if they were convinced earlier on they found their soul mate. Likewise, should something happen to their partner (i.e., death), it might prevent them from moving on with their live and seeking out a new companion if they think they already met their one and only soul mate.