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Do you ever talk to girls who rejected you?

  1. Sep 21, 2012 #1

    FeDeX_LaTeX

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    Just some background info -- I'm 17, just started my last year of sixth form and I'm a bit new to the whole dating scene.

    In my chemistry class, I developed a crush on a girl. I got up the courage to ask her out at the end of the year (July 2012), but I missed my opportunity when my teacher pulled me back to discuss my exam result at the end of the class (which was also a bit important). Given that it was the last day, I realised that I would then not see her for the entirety of the 2-month holiday, so I had no choice but to ask her out over the phone. I tried calling her but she wouldn't pick up and this lasted a few days, so I decided that I had no choice but to ask her over text. She replied a couple of hours later telling me she's sorry she missed my calls, and that she didn't want to go out with me.

    About a month later, I text her after our A-level results day (16th August) just to ask her how it went -- some of my friends had done so poorly they had to leave my sixth form, which was sad -- and she did not respond. The following year she's no longer in my chemistry class (we'd been shifted around plenty), but I saw her one time in the common room. I was sitting and talking with my friend, and I saw her go over to her own group of friends, which was at a table next to us. I could see over my friend's shoulder that she was trying not to look at me.

    In this scenario, do you think it would be worth trying to talk to her, but just as a friend? After the aftermath of A-level results day, lots of people have switched sixth forms/colleges and I don't see my friends as much very often. I'm also only taking two subjects so I'm rarely meeting new people, and our year seems to have become predominantly male as supposedly a large number of girls dropped out. I'm not trying to get her to go out with me, I just miss talking to her as we'd make jokes quite a lot that only we'd understand. Is a 2-month time lapse after asking her out sufficient to initiate conversation again with minimal awkwardness? In general, how long would it usually take to 'wait it out'? (This is only after asking someone out for a drink or to go out, not confessing one's feelings to another girl, which I've never done.)

    Thanks.
     
  2. jcsd
  3. Sep 21, 2012 #2

    Astronuc

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    Yes - but it was usually months or years later, and then only through some casual encounter not arranged by either of us. They were generally a pleasant encounters. By then, each of us had moved on.
     
  4. Sep 21, 2012 #3

    Averagesupernova

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    No. I have never talked to a girl who has rejected me because no girl has ever rejected me. Ummmm, ok seriously, it just depends. Some I have talked to, some I never saw again, some I avoided like the plague.
     
    Last edited: Sep 21, 2012
  5. Sep 21, 2012 #4

    George Jones

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    I had a best friend for years. When I was 31 and she was 29, I asked her if she wanted to develop our friendship into a relationship. She replied "No." Things were uncomfortable for a month or so, but soon we were close friends again. Many years later, we are still close friends, and, now, my daughter loves to talk to my friend!
     
  6. Sep 22, 2012 #5

    FeDeX_LaTeX

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    So, would it be fair to say that, in general, it's unlikely that the girl would never talk to you again?
     
  7. Sep 23, 2012 #6

    Astronuc

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    It depends on the girl/woman, and it could be months to years to never.

    There are some with whom I lost contact, and we've moved on along divergent paths.
     
  8. Sep 23, 2012 #7
    I never ask a girl if she wants to date unless I know for a fact that she likes me. That's because I don't think I could take rejection. I'd get depressed.

    I remember one time me and two friends were hanging out and one of them was a girl that I liked. Well the guy said something about her and I being together and she responded with some "pshhhh" sound. Like "yeah right, like I'd ever date him." I was pretty sure she liked me by the way she behaved around me, but her response still really hurt me. I was depressed for like a week.
     
  9. Sep 23, 2012 #8
    You are 17. At that age girls come and go. It's something you learn when you are a few years older. Yes it hurts that she rejected you, but I honestly wouldn't continue trying going after her. If you two happen to cross paths in the near future, just give a casual hello. It will just cause more heartache to continue chasing her. And from her point of view she will start thinking less and less of you. You will end up looking desperate in her eyes, and many women don't find that appealing. Just continue doing your studies, meet other girls, etc. Perhaps one day during a university break/holiday you two will cross paths again.
     
  10. Sep 24, 2012 #9

    FeDeX_LaTeX

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    I suppose it isn't her rejection specifically that hurts, but rather that I've asked just under ten girls out in my school (over the past several years) with no one who has said yes yet, which would indicate to me that something is wrong with what I am doing.

    So, if I saw her in the corridor, just a simple 'hey' would suffice? Should I avoid trying to start a conversation?
     
  11. Sep 24, 2012 #10

    Pengwuino

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    You're asking out under-aged girls. Big no no.
     
  12. Sep 24, 2012 #11
    I would just say "hey", yes. Don't go out of your way to talk to her. If she talks to you, be polite and talk with her, but keep it short. I was the same as you at that age. I never once had a date in high school, and it did get depressing. Have I since talked to girls that have rejected me, yes. But more as a casual "hey how are you?" "It's go seeing you" kind of thing.

    The point is, don't let it get you down. Don't set your sights on just one girl and only go after her. Talk to everyone. For all you know there is one girl just as shy as you wanting to talk to YOU.
     
  13. Sep 24, 2012 #12

    Astronuc

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    If one is 16 or younger, it is pretty difficult to ask out girls who are not the same age or younger. Certainly there are limits.

    If one is 17, then it would be reasonable to date a girl of 16 or 17, and if one is lucky, an older lady, but she would have probably graduated from high school.

    In the present situation, that of the OP, a simple "Hey" if one has a chance encounter with the young lady in question. Otherwise, it is certainly reasonable to have a casual chat with other young ladies.
     
  14. Sep 24, 2012 #13
    How well do you know these girls? Are you actually attempting to get to know them and be a friend to them first?
     
  15. Apr 10, 2013 #14
    Focus on yourself and the type of girl you want, every time you see what you like tell the girl exactly what your thinking, all she can say is NO.
    Physics doesn't touch on this lol
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 11, 2013
  16. Apr 10, 2013 #15
    or accuse you of harassment
     
  17. Apr 11, 2013 #16
    Lol never in public though maybe on the jobsite
     
  18. Apr 11, 2013 #17
    interesting..

    try having social anxiety..

    i get nervous and such just when someone looks at me..
    let alone talking to women.
     
  19. Apr 11, 2013 #18
    Bro, it's like anything you just have to break the ice that first time. Social anxiety? Uh it's a mental block don't submit to that bs. Really!
     
  20. Apr 11, 2013 #19
    The guy that says nothing looks dumber than the guy that says the wrong thing
     
  21. Apr 11, 2013 #20
    It's a diagnosable mental illness that hampers people's lives, not a mental block.
     
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