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Do you talk to your neighbours?

  1. Jan 11, 2008 #1
    In a society where people are becoming increasingly isolated from one another, many do not talk to the people on the other side of their garden fence,even though they may live next to them for years.So, do you talk to your neighbours and if not, why not?
     
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  3. Jan 11, 2008 #2

    Moonbear

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    I did at my last house. Currently, I don't, but only because the one couple next to me seems to keep to themselves, and I respect that. The family on the other side of me just moved in, so I don't know them yet. Did say hi to the woman of the house and their son, but couldn't strike up a conversation or even introduce myself because the moment they came outside on the day I was out shoveling the snow on my driveway, the kid dove into the pile of snow, so the only conversation happening was, "What are you doing?! Do you have snowpants on?! Now you're going to be all wet. Come back inside and get changed." (The kid looked like he was headed for school.)
     
  4. Jan 11, 2008 #3
    I know all my neighbors very well, we look after each other. If someone is sick, we all pitch in to help with the outside chores. I have a few elder neighbors with dogs, the really needed grooming, so a few friends pitched in and we got them groomed, and now we all go for doggy walks together, always ending up at my house for special doggy treats!
    We watch each others homes if someone goes away, have neighbor BBQ's in the summer, not to mention hanging out on stoops late night drinking beer.
     
  5. Jan 11, 2008 #4
    yep--except the one that just got out of prison

    and the one that have the police there every other weekend

    and the one that walks around the backyard with the gun

    etc.
     
  6. Jan 11, 2008 #5
    Great question, short answer seldom. Part of the problem are fences and a lack of shared property. Houses are built now so that you drive up to the side door, electrically close the garage door behind you and enter the abode. The fences cannot be talked over, and if I do interact its usually over a barking dog or wayward frisbee.
     
  7. Jan 11, 2008 #6

    turbo

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    Early on, we got friendly with some near neighbors with similar interests to mine (target shooting, firearms, etc) only to find that they are heavily into evangelical beliefs and NEVER give back even a little bit, though we gave them every discount coupon that we could give them for huge discounts on New Balance Athletic Shoes, and their related hiking boots/work boots divisions.

    My wife and I have since hooked up with other neighbors that want to share in grown food, shared labor for getting lots of lumber laid up and sawed, mutual aid in times of emergency, etc. We are doing well. When you are in the hinterlands, it is imperative that you know your neighbors even if you are not close friends.
     
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2008
  8. Jan 11, 2008 #7

    Astronuc

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    I talk with both nextdoor neighbors, although one more than the other. One is a retired woman living alone. I help her every now and then, or just say chat about whatever - usually weather, taxes, and current events. The last time I helped her was when she got stuck in the snow while trying to get out of her driveway. So I brought my shovel over and then her son-in-law showed up. He was upset that I was helping, because he doesn't want his mother-in-law to be to friendly to us. He has is eye on her property. I hope she sells to a young family if she decides to move out of the area, or into a independent living community.

    The other neighbor gardens, and we share plants and ideas on growing. We both like the habanero peppers, and he gave me some of his. He also fishes, so he brings by some now and then. I gave him some raspberry plants, and if he wants, he can take some of my blackberries too. He goes to work before 0400 and arrives home before I do, so I don't see him much during the week. The wife does in-home day care for a number of people, so she's busy from 0600 - 1800, and usually out shopping on the weekends.

    I don't interact with those across the road though.
     
  9. Jan 11, 2008 #8
    Maybe its just cynisism coming to reap what it sows, but week ago, I was marooned side my house. Out of my driveway, just barely. People walked and drove by w/o so much as a glance, even while trying to push it. Twenty years ago I have been in similar ruts. Heck anyone walking by would give it the ole heave-ho. Is it just my imagination or is neighborly behavior--defined by say altruistic deeds on behalf of the local tribe--a goner?
     
  10. Jan 11, 2008 #9

    Evo

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    It's a shame that people won't stop to help someone in distress, next to their own home. Doesn't sound like you live in a ghetto where people would fear for their lives if they stopped to help.

    People in well to do neighborhoods just don't want to be inconvenienced. You'd probably find more help in a blue collar neighborhood.

    But if you were a young, cute female, you'd probably have more help than you need.
     
  11. Jan 11, 2008 #10

    Moonbear

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    I think it depends on where you live. There are some neighborhoods where I can believe that would happen...or worse, they'd complain to the HOA that you had your car parked somewhere other than your garage or some such silliness. I avoid living in those types of neighborhoods. In one neighborhood I lived, one of the neighbors who had only been living there about a week had a huge tree knocked over in the front yard during a storm, with a large branch winding up knocking out the power lines to their house and their neighbor's. Once the power company came out and sorted out the electric line problems, people from about 5 different houses emerged to help them with cutting up the tree (this was their first house, so they didn't even own basic tools for yard maintenance yet), watching their kids while this was going on, letting them use our phones to call a relative to spend the night since they wouldn't have power that night (no phone lines either), etc. I even invited them over for whatever dinner I could cobble together for them since it happened early enough in the evening that nobody had dinner yet and I didn't want their kids hungry (they turned down the offer because they had a relative nearby who they would stay with).

    Likewise, I'd help out with shoveling snow for the elderly lady who lived next door. Someone else (never did know who) would bring my trash cans in out of the street after the trash was picked up and set them down by my garage door (our trash collectors were notorious for leaving the trashcans on their side on the curb so they'd roll into the street on breezy days).

    This doesn't happen so much where I live now because it's townhouses, so nobody is out doing yardwork much (not much of a yard). But, if I saw someone stuck and in need of a push, I'd sure do so (the only time I've purposely skipped stopping to help someone I saw in need of a push was when I had on high heel shoes so couldn't have been of much use pushing).
     
  12. Jan 11, 2008 #11

    Astronuc

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    Well heck - you should have called. I've helped a few people over the years. I once pushed a stalled car off a freeway, across 2 lanes of traffic. There was a family in the car (2 parents and 4 or 5 kids), and it was too dangerous to leave them stranded. I was surprised that thousands of cars (bumper to bumper traffic for several miles) had gone by, and no one had helped these people.
     
  13. Jan 11, 2008 #12
    Yea if I were so lucky. ;-D

    Its actually a blue-collar neighborhood, and one I find much more neighborly than the golf course property I used to own. Man that was a nightmare--twice arrested and taken to jail, booked, and having to bail out for a weed violation. Weeds were too high. On one occasion my daughter, then 8 was staying with me at the time. She was freaked.
     
  14. Jan 11, 2008 #13

    turbo

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    When I see a motorist in distress, I stop. I don't have a cell phone, but I carry a set of jumper cables, a tow-chain, and some other helpful stuff in my truck. Sometimes, if I cannot solve their problem, my presence helps to attract the assistance of another person who will pull off and see if they can help.
     
  15. Jan 11, 2008 #14

    Astronuc

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    And on the wrong side of the fence. :biggrin:

    Did you have fences on those properties? My brother lived in a development that boardered a golf course. I never got to see it, since he moved after a couple of years.

    I wouldn't enjoy living in a planned community with manicured lawns. I much prefer a vegetable garden and a variety of wildflowers. I prefer wilder, more natural setting, which is why I like being out in the country (rural area).
     
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2008
  16. Jan 11, 2008 #15

    Evo

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    Weeds like ragweed and grass?

    My riding mower went in for a tune up and the place (a John Deere dealership) kept it for 9 weeks. I ended up having to hire someone to mow my lawn for $90 a week. I finally let it go for a few weeks and a neighbor filed a complaint with the county, but they informed him that we were a rural area and there were no laws on mowing. Nyah nyah. Obsessive compulsive moron. He's the one that couldn't stand for my grass to be shorter than his. As soon as he mowed his lawn, I'd wait one day then mow mine, then he would immediately mow his again. I had him mowing an entire acre every other day. It was worth it just to make him crazy.
     
  17. Jan 11, 2008 #16
    I talk to my dog. My dog talks at the neighbors. So I guess, by proxy, I talk to them all the time. :biggrin:

    Well yes, I talk to my neighbors, but not too much and not too often. I don't try to have close friends right next door, just good neighbors. And I do keep the dog quiet.
     
  18. Jan 11, 2008 #17
    I bought the property in a time of draught, things did not really improve water wise, but bans on new landscaping were lifted. What I found disturbing is the plan I submitted before the HOA to Xeroscape, tastefully of course with drought tolerant native grass etc kept getting nixed. Eventually the governor at the time, Bill Owens, interceded and said HOA's couldn't tell you what to grow. By then I had been arrested twice, but no apology was forthcoming!
     
  19. Jan 11, 2008 #18
    We (mother and I) didn't at our last house, but we do to all of them here. We have a great neighborhood-in-the-country, we share eggs, vegetables, honey, etc. I went hunting with my some of my neighbs on Christmas Eve, and we go fishing a lot too (river is like 1/8 from my house plus 2 ponds) It's really nice to have it like this.
     
  20. Jan 11, 2008 #19
    We (mother and I) didn't at our last house, but we do to all of them here. We have a great neighborhood-in-the-country, we share eggs, vegetables, honey, etc. I went hunting with my some of my neighbs on Christmas Eve, and we go fishing a lot too (river is like 1/8 from my house plus 2 ponds) It's really cool.
     
  21. Jan 12, 2008 #20

    Astronuc

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    So much for Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.
     
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