Is Your Ass Too Small for Wheelies?

[JamesU]

I'm sure most of the answers will be no...

 

[russ_watters]

I'm sorry, but with the double entendre, there was only one choice...

 

[Smurf]

Just the fact you needed a poll to prove it proves that it was controversial enough that I had to kick some ass. It's a fact.

 

[Artman]

Just the fact you needed a poll to prove it proves that it was controversial enough that I had to kick some ass. It's a fact.

Kicking your own ass doesn't count Smurf. Even if you can do it with both feet.

 

[Smurf]

bah! you're all just jealous of my ass kicking skillza!

 

[BobG]

Never kick an ass, especially when walking behind it. Instead of making the ass walk a little faster, it will kick back - and the kick from a full grown ass could prove fatal.

Even if you avoid the wrath of a very annoyed ass, you'll never escape the wrath of PETA.

 

[mattmns]

Smurf, you do kick ass!

 

[Math Is Hard]

Never kick an ass, especially when walking behind it. Instead of making the ass walk a little faster, it will kick back - and the kick from a full grown ass could prove fatal.

Even if you avoid the wrath of a very annoyed ass, you'll never escape the wrath of PETA.

Good one, BobG :rofl:

So is the ass-kicking scale like a Kelvin scale? Can you have an absolute zero? Is it possible to kick absolutely no ass?

 

[Danger]

Kicking your own ass doesn't count Smurf. Even if you can do it with both feet.

Does it count if you try to kick someone's ass, but trip yourself and land on your own instead? :tongue:

Good one, BobG :rofl:

So is the ass-kicking scale like a Kelvin scale? Can you have an absolute zero? Is it possible to kick absolutely no ass?

Sure; just look at Peewee Herman.

 

[hypnagogue]

Sure; just look at Peewee Herman.

Nonsense! Even Peewee must have it in him, somewhere. He just needs to channel his inner http://www.nomoreaffleck.com/Resources/dustinscreecha.jpeg .

 

[Danger]

He just needs to channel his inner http://www.nomoreaffleck.com/Resources/dustinscreecha.jpeg .

Okay, I give. Who the hell is that? Up here, screech is a particularly raucous form of alcoholic beverage from the Maritimes. If he were channelling that stuff, there'd be no stopping him.

 

[loseyourname]

Screech was the token dork from Saved by the Bell, one of the all-time most popular Saturday morning TV shows in the US.

Smurf does not kick any ass. Not a single one. Even his own ass kicks him.

 

[hypnagogue]

Screech was the token dork from Saved by the Bell, one of the all-time most popular Saturday morning TV shows in the US.

Here he is a youngster: link

He was probably the most infamous nerd/dork in America during the late 80s/early 90s, along with http://www.trilon.com/wedding/trip/images/misc/urkel.jpg from Family Matters.

Screech probably became psychologically scarred from all this, which is why he went on to kick old man http://www.corporateartists.com/images/ronpalillo.jpg ass on Fox's Celebrity Boxing.

Smurf does not kick any ass. Not a single one. Even his own ass kicks him.

That must be some sort of negative ass kicking. So much for the absolute zero.

 

[Danger]

That must be some sort of negative ass kicking. So much for the absolute zero.

Okay. We got all of those shows here, but I never watched the school one. Urkel's voice haunts me to this day, along with Horschak's laugh.
I think that the negative must be when you try to kick your own ass and you get your foot stuck.

 

[JamesU]

bah! you're all just jealous of my ass kicking skillza!

If you look at the poll...you're losing

 

[Danger]

If you look at the poll...you're losing

What I want to know is how he bypassed the 'one vote per customer' filters to get any red up there at all. :tongue:

 

[JamesU]

I don't know...smurf?

 

[Smurf]

Smurf, you do kick ass!

Yeah mattmns! You know what you're talking about!

 

[Danger]

Yeah mattmns! You know what you're talking about!

People who really kick ass recognize sarcasm when they see it... :tongue:

 

[Math Is Hard]

I voted that Smurf kicks ass. If I didn't, there's a chance he might get mad and kick my ass -- so better safe than ass-kicked!

 

[Smurf]

I still have 39% of the vote. I'm more than satisfied with that. I don't need to be popular with everyone.

 

[Danger]

there's a chance he might get mad and kick my ass

And there's a chance that an enraged squirrel could chew the tires off of my car some night, but I'm not losing sleep over it.

 

[JamesU]

math is hard, smurf could not kick your ass. you'd kick his ass 12 times before he could kick yours once. Just look at the results! :rofl:

 

[Artman]

I voted that Smurf kicks ass. If I didn't, there's a chance he might get mad and kick my ass

Hey Smurf, I'll hold it (MIH's ass) for you while you kick. :tongue2:

Just trying to lend a hand where needed.

 

[JamesU]

Hey Smurf, I'll hold it (MIH's ass) for you while you kick. :tongue2:

Just trying to lend a hand where needed.

smurf? is he your personal B**ch?

 

[Math Is Hard]

Just trying to lend a hand where needed.

what a pal! :rofl:

Speaking of asses, this thread just reminded me of something...

How to tell if your ass is too small:
http://www-leland.stanford.edu/~chaps/up_your_ass.jpg

 

[JamesU]

ass ass ass ass! It's so fun! :rofl:

 

[Artman]

what a pal! :rofl:

Speaking of asses, this thread just reminded me of something...

How to tell if your ass is too small:
http://www-leland.stanford.edu/~chaps/up_your_ass.jpg

I[/URL] love the way everyone just walks past as if nothing is wrong. :rofl: I've been laughing about this picture for two days now. :rofl:

 

[arildno]

I guess he does kick ass, with his own definition of kicking.
I'm not sure what precise definition he uses, but I would assume it includes that one of his limbs has approached some ass through generating a non-zero collision velocity by some mechanism.
As for the precise nature of the actual impact, I have no opinion whatsoever.

I still voted no, though.

 

[Danger]

How to tell if your ass is too small:

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: That is freakin' hilarious! And I always thought you needed a lot more asspower than that to pull a wheelie.