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Dog-psychology problem. Help!

  1. Oct 28, 2009 #1

    turbo

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    Our (relatively) new dog Duke is very clingy. I call him Velcro Dog for a reason because he needs to be with me always. His training has come along quite well, in part because he is willing to give me so much of his attention, even in the face of distractions, like another dog, neighbors, etc.

    The problem is that he gets really miserable if I leave him alone. He whines and cries and sounds absolutely pitiful. I can take him anywhere in a vehicle, and leave him in the car while I go pick up some materials, pay a mechanic, etc, and he is calm and patient and greets me happily when I return to the vehicle. It's different when I leave him at home though. Yesterday, I had to finish digging out my septic tank for a leach-field inspection, finish hauling weeds out of the garden and burn off the remainder of the weeds, vines, etc. All through that time (several hours) I could hear him whining and crying, with an occasional "Hey!" kind of bark. I tried putting him on an outside run where he could see me from time to time, with no success. I moved him to our elevated back deck where he could see me pretty much all the time, with no improvement. I put him back in the house and tried to ignore him until he got tired of the drama and took a nap or something. No good. When I finished up in the garden and came back to the house, he was still crying, and he immediately transformed into "ecstatic dog" when I opened the front door.

    I try not to make a big deal about leaving his presence, and do not ask him to follow me around the house, though he certainly does. Anybody got any ideas how to reduce the separation anxiety? Normally, he eats about 3 cups of food/day, but yesterday, he finished only 1/2 his food, and today his bowel movement was very runny and rank - probably from all the anxiety yesterday afternoon. I'm dealing with a number of issues that will require me to leave him along for hours here and there in the next few weeks, and I don't want to make him miserable or sick. Any suggestions?
     
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  3. Oct 28, 2009 #2

    lisab

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    Does he have the same attachment to your wife?
     
  4. Oct 28, 2009 #3

    Monique

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    I think what you did was good: when you are doing work put him in a separate place where there is no direct contact, but he can still see you. That way he can get used to the separation. The fact that he was still wining means you need to be patient. Don't pay any attention when he is wining, but once he quiets down reward him (it may be better for your wife to give the reward, to not excite him too much).

    Do you have anything that's comfy to him? Something he can lie on/in, possibly something with your scent on it. It might be that he is not comfortable in an open space, and having something that he is familiar with could put him at ease.

    What did you do when you came back to the room and he was ecstatic?
     
  5. Oct 28, 2009 #4

    turbo

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    Not to this degree, no. Of course she leaves for work every morning and returns in the afternoon, so it's just the two of us here.
     
  6. Oct 28, 2009 #5

    turbo

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    I might try putting one of his dog-beds on the deck next time, with one of my shirts. When he sleeps in our bedroom (on his own bed, of course) almost every morning I find that he has grabbed the shirt I took off the night before and is using it for a pillow. If it's one of my long-sleeved shirts with pockets, it will have treats in one pocket that I use to reward him during training. He never bothers the treats - just pulls the shirt onto his bed and lays his head on it.

    When I came back in the house and he was flipping-out happy, I tried not to feed into that departure-arrival dynamic. Instead I deflected his attention to something else and gave him a verbal reward and an ear-rub when he did something I asked him to do.
     
  7. Oct 28, 2009 #6

    Borek

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    Could be he will need a lot of time to learn to be alone, obviously his past haunts him.
     
  8. Oct 28, 2009 #7

    turbo

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    It could be. He was abandoned, picked up as a stray by Animal Control, then was incarcerated in the animal shelter from May until September. That had to be pretty stressful.
     
  9. Oct 28, 2009 #8

    Monique

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    You can find an old cloth and wear it with you the whole day and then use it to train him to be quiet when you're not around. First leave him on his own for a very short time and increase the time more and more, but make sure he remains quiet during that time.

    I hope he will respond well to your training, with some patience he should be able to get used to being by himself.
     
  10. Oct 28, 2009 #9

    lisab

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    I think these suggestions are good. The Humane Society has some recommedations http://www.hsus.org/pets/pet_care/our_pets_for_life_program/dog_behavior_tip_sheets/separation_anxiety.html" [Broken]that might help, too.

    Interesting - I was going to suggest crate training, but they say at the bottom of the page that it won't help separation anxiety.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 4, 2017
  11. Oct 28, 2009 #10

    symbolipoint

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    The whining during being gone versus the ecstatic upon your return needs some flattening. When you return home, ignore Duke for about 3 or 5 minutes before you greet him. He will still be happy with the interaction without your giving him this an immediate reward.
     
  12. Oct 28, 2009 #11

    Moonbear

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    I think Monique's suggestions are best. Leaving for very short times (but unpredictable) times and then returning will help him learn that you do return before he gets so anxious as to be sick. You might also want to recruit help of another person, perhaps your wife on weekends, to come in and give him a reward when you're not there so he learns that being patient waiting is a good thing.

    If you need to be away long periods of time before he has a chance to adjust with just behavioral modifications, talk to your vet about anti-anxiety medications. Especially since he gets upset enough to disrupt his eating and bowel habits, some anti-anxiety meds might be best to keep him comfortable and relaxed while you work on behavioral rewards.
     
  13. Oct 28, 2009 #12

    drizzle

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    how could he NOT be clingy! :biggrin:

    he's just got used to you …you’ll have to be patient :)
     
  14. Oct 28, 2009 #13

    turbo

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    Thanks for that link, Lisa. Duke is not destructive, nor does he break his housetraining, but he exhibits every single sign they cite under "Does my dog have Separation Anxiety" - every one.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 4, 2017
  15. Oct 28, 2009 #14

    turbo

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    Yep. I'm down-playing the whole leaving/retuning dynamic, but may have to move even more slowly. "Baby steps!"
     
  16. Oct 28, 2009 #15

    dlgoff

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    You might try putting one of your old pair of pants or something with your smell on it where he sleeps/stays. This might give him some sense of security.
     
  17. Oct 28, 2009 #16

    turbo

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    I'll be sure to fart while wearing them, first! It's our male-bonding thing. :tongue:
     
  18. Oct 28, 2009 #17

    lisab

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    I bet you two go out to the woods to pee together too :tongue2:.
     
  19. Oct 28, 2009 #18

    turbo

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    Yep! We like to walk on the trails together and there are no rest-rooms in the woods. Duke and I are pals. I don't pee on Duke and Duke doesn't pee on me.

    He has a doggie-friend down the road that loves to sniff his privates, but Duke is not real comfortable with that level of closeness, even though he likes Max. I need to help Duke be comfortable in his new world.
     
  20. Oct 28, 2009 #19
    Have you considered a second dog?
     
  21. Oct 29, 2009 #20

    Borek

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    Are you going to sniff his other end so that he gets used to it?
     
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