My friend hints at things in conversation. He has said things directly and indirectly which I find disturbing. It's wierd, wether I'm only with him, or with other friends, he'll make comments like these, but never around his girlfriend. There are many supporting stories to consider which I'll not go into, but the bottom line is, I think he views me as a sitcom character rather than a friend. Here's the major thing, my normal state of mind is of utter uncertainty. meaning, I have no confidence to speak of, and I'm not here to fight, on the same note, I don't hold my opinions as the final say, and I will retract things at the drop of a hat. Needless to say, women don't find that very attractive, and so as you might expect, I haven't had a steady girlfirend for more than a month (sad I know). On the other hand, my friend has never been with any other girl than whom he's with now, they've been dating for over 5 years. I've seen him say unbelievable things to her when they get drunk (extremely offensive), and so have other friends. The inside joke about them is a parody of the itchy and scratchy theme song, "they drink, and fight, and drink and drink and fight, the ###### and #### show!" (# signs represent thier names). So anyway, I've never insulted him, and I don't believe that it's right for me to tell him "ya know, you're kind of a jerk sometimes" but it's getting out of hand in a way. Anyway, back to the fact that I haven't had many girlfriends, and when I'm in a relationship, I can't seem to keep her interest for too long until I creep her out because I start to try and explain how much she means to me (i get too infatuated I guess). My friend is now questioning my sexual preferance because of this. Because he is in a relationship with someone whom he mistreats, this is sort of irritating me. I'm getting more and more personal with this post, but I hope it's entertaining nonetheless. To be honest, I can't defend myself based on evidence because sadly, I haven't gone that far with a woman. I just don't like admitting that, but I hate it much more when people get the wrong impression because of it. So now you may see my problem, I'm a "wimp" or "pu$$y" in the eyes of pop-culture today, as is portrayed in tv and movies and what not. It just so happens, my friend was raised by tv. His dad died early in his life, and he wasn't that close to his mother, and never liked his step dad, but he loved watching tv. Whenever I talk to him, there is a 100% probability that he will mention some tv show, or a couple, or just quote something from a tv show, and I have to ask what he meant because I'm not familiar with what he's talking about... So accounting for this, I shouldn't confront him, I should let him have his fun because he deservs it. I in fact was interested in the girl he's dating back in high school. I developed a good rapport with her, but I couldn't decide between her or her best friend. I ended up asking her best friend to the prom, and she (her best friend) said she would go if I could get a date for her (my friend's current girlfriend) also. Ok, so I had to set up a blind date for the prom? As you may think, that didn't work out, so I went with a different girl from a different high school whom I wasn't as interested in. A year later, groups of friends merged, and we all were hanging out all the time, including my friend (the topic of this thread) and ya da ya da ya... Anyway, I had a chance to get involved with her best friend again, and so I proceeded, but was "blocked" by another one of her friends, who called "dibbs" whatever that means. I was sort of wondering what I should do, and I figured I had to show "the blocker" that we wouldn't work out before I proceeded. (keep in mind, I'm wierd, and I didn't want to simply outright tell "the blocker" that I didn't like her, I felt I had to show her and make her dicide for herself so that I wouldn't offend her). Anyway, my friend started taking a liking to first girl whom I met in high school. I ended up telling her that he was interested in her, and they've been going out ever since, and he's been treating her like crap. I've been too "floaty", trying not to leave much of a footprint on the world, but at the same time, trying to help out the people I know. I like my firend, and he's a funny guy, but he's got some of his own opinions about me which he tagges on me, and amuses himself by it. I just don't want to confront him because it makes him happy to do these things. I've always marched to the mantra of letting people think what they want of me, but this is testing me a bit much. This isn't the only thing he hints towards though. He also hints that I have no care about life at all, that I have no care if a friend loses a loved one. One time I mentioned the idea that yes it sucks when a loved one dies, but it's not worth sulking over for too long, and that it should be respected that the awareness of death isn't a bad thing, because there is an entire universe that is more important than us humans, let alone the fact that everything that has a beginning has an end, due to the nature of our situation (ie entropy increases). However, he dumbs this down to "you welcome death" and he loathes this stance. It's like he's searching for easy ways of summing things up, but he gets them wrong unknowingly, and then attributes his conclusions as a character flaw in me. So he amuses himself by making fun of me for things that I don't even represent. Like I said before, he is a nice guy, and he's got a good heart, and these tiny things which irritate me don't really measure up much at all in defining him. I don't want to be told to confront him and call him a jerk, I guess the only reason why I spent the time to post this is merely to expend some of my thoughts of him formally, perhaps to clarify things for myself, and entertain others who find this to be good reading... I hope I haven't bored you all, but what do you think? I'm betting it tells you more about me than my friends, and I would agree with you, I'm probably the problem here, not my friend.