Don't try it at home (or you will get arrested)

[Norman.Galois]

I would kick her out of the house. No need to slap.

 

[IcedEcliptic]

Apparently ridicule and disowning are preferable to a slap? We're not talking about a punch here. We're not even talking about getting hit with a switch or a belt. I've been slapped by friends in jest and have even had women slap me because they think its funny to slap men about. The slap itself was never a big deal. A slap is usually less a violent abuse than a power play. There are certainly people who slap for violent effect but that is obviously not what occurred here. Grandma was obviously trying to impress upon the granddaughter that she was the one in charge. It was obviously not a very effective tactic and better could have been come up with but personally I find a slap less disrespectful and hurtful than ridicule.

I am saying that if the granddaughter was unwilling to change her language in front of her grandmother, then the grandmother had many options including making her leave her home when she spoke that way, as Norman.Galois says. If that continues over time, then maybe you do ratchet the process up, but you still don't have the right to hit people. She also backhanded the woman, which is not a "little slap", and this wasn't in jest. I have nothing against people sparring, or agreeing to mutual combat. This is different, and let's not pretend it's the same thing. You break the law, and you take your chances.

I have never been cowed into fear by being struck. Perhaps some people are, I do not know. Personally it just makes me mad. The only people I have ever met that have been fearful of one simple slap or strike are people who have been severely beaten in their past. Granddaughter did not seem very cowed either. She was apparently clear headed enough to find her revenge.

Striking at someone's face is a basic scare tactic because of psychological impact, it is why in knife fighting one strikes with the off-hand with a feint to the face, causing a blink reaction, then strike with the knife hand. Clearly the woman had nothing to fear from her grandmother, if she had the time to get away and call the police, and so she should have had some care and love for her grandmother and NOT call the police! Slapping covers a big category, yes? It is a little smack on the back of the head to which I do not object to among friends, but it can be a backhand to the face.

If you have never been "cowed into fear" is not uncommon, as Evo said being struck made her so angry she broke her door. I'm a very strong man, and always have been so I am careful, but outside of a bar in St. Petersburg a young man tried to start a fight with me. I tried everything including walking away, but when he struck me, I tried to disengage, but he was drunk and angry. I was forced to apply an arm-lock and ended dislocating his shoulder and breaking his arm in three places. I am not proud of what I did, but if someone chooses to engage in a fight, and I cannot escape it I will fight. He was no match for me, but I still felt a mixture of anger, fear, outrage, and disappointment that I had to do this to someone.

Violence should be used in defense of the self, and of others in the last resort. That moment of last resort is conditional of course, but anytime you are violent when you don't need to be, you are hurting yourself as well as others. That anger you talk about is a like a poison, and this old woman should have learned this in her life. Gandi freed a nation without violence, and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. with civil rights; this granny couldn't keep her granddaughter from cursing without a smack? She doesn't deserve jail, but she doesn't deserve respect anymore either.

 

[leroyjenkens]

I don't think a backhand is a slap at all. There's padding on your palm, but a backhand is all bone. That's no slap.

Striking at someone's face is a basic scare tactic because of psychological impact, it is why in knife fighting one strikes with the off-hand with a feint to the face, causing a blink reaction, then strike with the knife hand.

You're just a jack of all trades. You know about knife fighting too.

 

[IcedEcliptic]

I don't think a backhand is a slap at all. There's padding on your palm, but a backhand is all bone. That's no slap.

What is "backhand"? It is short for "Backhanded slap". Slap is open hand, punch is closed fist. This granny used the back of her hand, as it said in the article.

You're just a jack of all trades. You know about knife fighting too.

"A jack of all trades, and a master of none," is that it? If it isn't clear I spent time serving in my home country's military, does that help you understand? Now please stop trying to drag a fight from a locked thread into this one, I am not going to help you kill this thread as well.

 

[Evo]

Sounds more like the Grandmother popped her in the mouth rather than a slap across the face.

What about the tactic of washing a childs mouth out with soap? I think that's terrible, but it was common.

My mother-in-law told me that I paid too much attention to my children. She said that she didn't let her kids rule her life. After brakfast, she would lock them in their rooms so she could do want she wanted to do around the house without having to deal with them. She said that sometimes they would cry and scream for hours. She'd either run the vacuum or turn up the radio to drown them out. Now, that's child abuse, it was considered ok back then.

 

[leroyjenkens]

What is "backhand"? It is short for "Backhanded slap". Slap is open hand, punch is closed fist. This granny used the back of her hand, as it said in the article.

I said I don't consider it a slap because it's the back of your hand. You're using the bone. It's as much of a slap as kicking someone in the face.

"A jack of all trades, and a master of none," is that it? If it isn't clear I spent time serving in my home country's military, does that help you understand? Now please stop trying to drag a fight from a locked thread into this one, I am not going to help you kill this thread as well.

You used a knife fighting strategy to prove your point. Have you been in a knife fight? You also mentioned how you broke someone's arm in 3 places. Did you follow them to the hospital? How did you find out exactly what happened to his arm?
Why do you keep calling everything a fight? No one can disagree with you or else they're trying to fight? You get defensive way too fast.

 

[IcedEcliptic]

Sounds more like the Grandmother popped her in the mouth rather than a slap across the face.

What about the tactic of washing a childs mouth out with soap? I think that's terrible, but it was common.

My mother-in-law told me that I paid too much attention to my children. She said that she didn't let her kids rule her life. After brakfast, she would lock them in their rooms so she could do want she wanted to do around the house without having to deal with them. She said that sometimes they would cry and scream for hours. She'd either run the vacuum or turn up the radio to drown them out. Now, that's child abuse, it was considered ok back then.

Washing the mouth with soap is bound to make a child very angry, so it seems less effective to me, than other means. I think too, that most kids would fight against this, so the threat of violence, or force is usually needed to do it. Let us be very realistic, children are at the mercy of their parents when they are young. I don't believe that spanking is child abuse, but I don't think it's a good idea or effective. Locking children away is psychological torture, and I would rather be spanked if I had a choice. When you hold a child's life and welfare in your heart and hands, you know them the best, what they love and want, and what they fear and hate. Children need so many things, that withholding them can be effective punishment. In the absence of respect and understanding, you get a semblance of obedience, not the real thing.

If you are hysterical and screaming at a police officer, they can detain you, and cuff you. They can also let it wash over them without caring, knowing that the person's words have no power. I saw a funny video of a man who cursed and screamed at the officer for seeding, and he tore the ticket and threw it out the window. The officer calmly said, "Sir, you're going to have to get out and pick that up, or I'm going to cite you for littering." That is so brilliant, but what would dragging him out of the car accomplish? That does not teach, that is just cathartic for the officer. I bet you dollars to donuts that the speeding man learned a lesson that day; he could huff and puff, but the house of the officer remained standing. The speeder is humiliated and picking up his mess.

You teach people to respect you by BEING respectable, firm, and consistent. I do not respect people who resort to violence when it is not necessary, but just EASY. Most people here keep saying that being hit makes them angry, so what does that say? I maintain that anger is a poison, and violence is the means of transmission. You let a kid scream and cry and swear and you stand there, not caring, then repeat your demand. Rinse and repeat. That has a profound effect, and you will get respect because you did not appear to lose control and contradict ethics. What if granny said, "shut the **** up dear, and learn how speak English, or don't come here with that mouth," I bet that works! Now that younger woman will not respect her at all.

 

[Pengwuino]

Regardless, if it was... it has no bearing on how things are looked upon in THESE times. That's one of the great things about being human. We can adapt and CHANGE for the better.

Since when? Sure we CAN, but do we? No. You can't expect people to see something as proper for 50 years and then oops, "times change, deal with it".

As for the incident, I agree, neither the grandmother or the child are at fault here. Except the child. It's entirely that whiny brat's fault.

 

[IcedEcliptic]

I said I don't consider it a slap because it's the back of your hand. You're using the bone. It's as much of a slap as kicking someone in the face.

You used a knife fighting strategy to prove your point. Have you been in a knife fight? You also mentioned how you broke someone's arm in 3 places. Did you follow them to the hospital? How did you find out exactly what happened to his arm?
Why do you keep calling everything a fight? No one can disagree with you or else they're trying to fight? You get defensive way too fast.

To the first, consider it what you want, it is still defined as a slap. I have been kicked in the leg, and stomach, and arms, and I can say it is nothing like a backhand at all. A kick is the strongest thing a person may exert without leveraging moves of the joints and arms.

To the second, why would I need to be in a knife fight? I've never been in one outside of sparring and training (rubber knives, and rattan and ironwood bastones), that is why soldiers have guns.

To the third, I was very nearly arrested, until the man's friend's spoke to the police and explained that their FRIEND was out of control. I did go to the hospital to be checked, and for sutures of my lip, but he was in no danger from what I did, so I asked about him and left. The rest does not warrant a response.

 

[IcedEcliptic]

Since when? Sure we CAN, but do we? No. You can't expect people to see something as proper for 50 years and then oops, "times change, deal with it".

As for the incident, I agree, neither the grandmother or the child are at fault here. Except the child. It's entirely that whiny brat's fault.

Does that apply to cannibalism (funeral rituals in Papua New Guinea), sexual exploitation of what is now underage children, child labor, bride-burnings, who gets to vote, civil rights, and more? Your argument was used by everyone who wants things to be the same, and I wonder if you should research the history of child labor especially. Times change, deal with it and flourish, or don't. The latter has consequences.

 

[leroyjenkens]

To the first, consider it what you want, it is still defined as a slap. I have been kicked in the leg, and stomach, and arms, and I can say it is nothing like a backhand at all.

The reason I compared them was because a slap is with an open hand. A kick is similar. It's just harder. Just like a back hand.

The rest does not warrant a response.

Calling it a fight is demeaning. We can discuss all day, but it seems like when you start to get upset and frustrated, it's the other person's fault for turning it into a fight. It's not my fault you have a short fuse.

 

[Evo]

We've beaten this thread to death. Locked.