I really feel like I've hit rock bottom. I've never felt quite this way, and to be completely honest, I don't know if I can go on. I had an exam today that went horribly. It's in a subject that I typically score great in, and to make things worse, the professor is the person I've been working for and doing research with for the past year and a half. The class is ridiculously small, so I won't be surprised if I have the lowest score on the exam. To make matters worse, I took it in a horrible state; I was on the verge of a fever, and earlier that day, I got back an exam from another physics class. Needless to say, the grade for that exam was pretty awful as well. I did get another physics exam back on Monday, which I evidently scored perfectly on, but of course, can't feel good about yourself for too long... I feel like I have to study so hard to be even half as good as some people who are just innately smarter. For the exam that I got back today, I worked almost every single problem in the text in preparation, but evidently that wasn't enough. Apparently my conceptual understanding was not where it needed to be. This is my senior year. I'm set to graduate in the fall. I even have a really great research opportunity for the summer, and I can't help but feel like I don't actually know what I'm doing and that I don't even deserve any of it. Maybe I just sound good on paper. Either way, the stress is really killing me. The past three weeks have been back to back exams, with this one being the last. I feel like I'm in a constant state of anxiety just worrying about these exams and how I'll score on them, since unfortunately graduate schools and the educational system value grades so much. I wish I didn't care, but the fact is that grades are important, and certainly when your teacher is the person you're working for. I know it's just an exam at the end of the day, and that life goes on, but I can't shake this feeling. It's one thing when the whole class does poorly, but this wasn't a particularly difficult exam, and I just totally and completely blew it. I don't know what I'm looking for in typing this here. I just feel pretty miserable, and I needed to get this off my chest.