Finding Yourself

  • Thread starter Zantra
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  • #1
Zantra
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I guess this is one of those terms that is self defined. Everyone has their own realization of what "finding yourself" means. Many seek it, some achieve it, and always it brings a sense of "inner peace" (aside from the inner peace you may have heard of in the generals forusms ).

Anyhow, I found myself- Or at least I think I did. To me, finding myself meant realizing what it is I wanted to do with the rest of my life. Oh sure, I've done a lot already, but I lacked direction, motivation, drive, goals that were larger that myself. To experience this "epiphany" as I like to call it, I had to go through a major life change. For me this meant moving far away from everyone and everything I'd ever known and starting fresh. I wish I could say I found enlightement on a moutain in tibet, but it was nothing so grandiose. So I guess my question is: Have you found yourself yet? Did you recognize it when you did for what it was? Did it take a major life change or other huge even to bring to that point, was it a tiny little thing that made you snap, or was it a gradual realization?
 
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Answers and Replies

  • #2
THANOS
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I know where i am but i haven't found myself yet
 
  • #3
That sounds like a very noble pursuit.
 
  • #4
Zantra
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sorry, I should just erase the last part- didn't want to focus on that, just on "finding yourself". But to address your point, it's not for recognition, it's something I've wanted to do since I was 12. it's the realization of a lifelong dream. Also want to do cancer research, but we'll see. Nothing worthwhile in life is easy.
 
  • #5
It might help if you use a GPS?
 
  • #6
TENYEARS
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When you are everywhere, you do don't have to look far.
 
  • #7
FZ+
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But explosions are painful!
 
  • #8
Zantra
781
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One of the more profound things I've heard was the saying

"wherever you go, well there you are"

It reeks of deterministic influences, but it's beauty is in the simplicity.
 
  • #9
TENYEARS
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Originally posted by Zantra
One of the more profound things I've heard was the saying

"wherever you go, well there you are"

It reeks of deterministic influences, but it's beauty is in the simplicity.

There will be a day when the relative nature of this "It reeks of deterministic influences" fades away. It will not be with your death, but the realization of your life.
 
  • #10
Zantra
781
3
Originally posted by TENYEARS
There will be a day when the relative nature of this "It reeks of deterministic influences" fades away. It will not be with your death, but the realization of your life.

I'll take it you don't agree with this statement
 
  • #11
TENYEARS
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It has a relative reality, there is something that happens when relativity fades to black.
 
  • #12
Gale
676
2
i think I've found myself a couple times. I think i also keep losing myself. Actually, i sort of have a fear of really permanently finding myself when I'm too young, so i think I've sort of been preventing myself from doing so.
 
  • #13
Zantra
781
3
Originally posted by Gale17
i think I've found myself a couple times. I think i also keep losing myself. Actually, i sort of have a fear of really permanently finding myself when I'm too young, so i think I've sort of been preventing myself from doing so.

Finding yourself is nothing but discovery and knowledge. Never be afraid of the truth, always seek and embrace it. There's no "right age" to find yourself. Some are never lost, and others spend their whole lives in pursuit of englightenment. Others never look to begin with.

Ironic though this may seem, I've never studied buddhism extensively, but I suspect I would find many of it's ideals (combined with taoism) to be right in line with my philosophies. I visited a Buddhist temple not too long ago. It was on the top of a small mountain. Just being there brought on a sense of serenity and peace that I cherish. That or it was the lack of oxygen:wink:
 
  • #14
Zantra
781
3
Originally posted by TENYEARS
It has a relative reality, there is something that happens when relativity fades to black.

It's meaning is relative to me. To others it may just be words on a screen signifying nothing. When I look back upon my life, I won't blame a god for my regrets in life, only revel in the path that brought me to that point.
 
  • #15
TENYEARS
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No one can ever blame god. Christian, buddist or any ist or ism. God makes no choices we do and we are part of the whole. The whole is still but the parts move and live by the rules of the universe known or unknown.
 
  • #16
Zantra
781
3
Originally posted by TENYEARS
No one can ever blame god. Christian, buddist or any ist or ism. God makes no choices we do and we are part of the whole. The whole is still but the parts move and live by the rules of the universe known or unknown.

I'm not a determinist by nature. I'm agnostical, which is why I won't hold any god responsible for my actions. I am the master of my destiny, and for better or worse, it is mine to live.
 
  • #17
TENYEARS
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There is a thing called original sin, there is also a think called gravity. When you figure out original sin you will know the nature of the universe or you will find yourself in a way out did not know you could maybe you have from the way you spoke.

When you find out what gravity is, what matter is made of, it will give you an unshakable resolve. If you have found yourself, then you now know you have the capacity to do so if you like.

Buddist, Taoist, christian, voodoo, american indian, etcc...

All the same.

Had to take a phyc course in college. There was a phrase "functional fixidness". It describes a trap that occurs for every human being that has ever existed.

Did not even Jesus say to the woman who was relentless. Would you have me feed the food of the children of isreal to dogs. She commented even dogs get the table scraps from the childrens table. In that Jesus was moved and learned. What moved what learned?

Be like water, be like the air. Be yourself and if yourself has to be something you have not yet found it.
 
  • #18
Njorl
Science Advisor
285
17
I thought I found myself once. It turned out to be somebody else. I took him to the lost and found, and he turned up to claim himself. I asked him if he'd seen me anywhere, but he said he hadn't.

Njorl
 
  • #19
Zantra
781
3
Originally posted by TENYEARS
There is a thing called original sin, there is also a think called gravity. When you figure out original sin you will know the nature of the universe or you will find yourself in a way out did not know you could maybe you have from the way you spoke.

When you find out what gravity is, what matter is made of, it will give you an unshakable resolve. If you have found yourself, then you now know you have the capacity to do so if you like.

Buddist, Taoist, christian, voodoo, american indian, etcc...

All the same.

Had to take a phyc course in college. There was a phrase "functional fixidness". It describes a trap that occurs for every human being that has ever existed.

Did not even Jesus say to the woman who was relentless. Would you have me feed the food of the children of isreal to dogs. She commented even dogs get the table scraps from the childrens table. In that Jesus was moved and learned. What moved what learned?

Be like water, be like the air. Be yourself and if yourself has to be something you have not yet found it.

OK so now I had to go look up functional fixation. It's not necessarily that I can't see the solution, it's that I can't determine the problem to solve for the solution. I may have found the answer, but it's the answer to the wrong question. That is the problem. We can answer a problem when it is presented to us, but we do not know the right questions to ask, so that it leads us to the answers we seeek. Apparrently it IS the question that drives us after all:wink:
 
  • #20
TENYEARS
472
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It is the question. It's all about the question and nothing more. It comes back to what I said to Zero once. Why did you drop the ball? It's about that and nothing more. It's a simple riddle with a simple answer. The heaveans will open and the universe will then put forth anthing which you ask it. It has no choice. As long as you keep your part. The mustard seed. This is it you know.
 
  • #21
Gale
676
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i just have a question...

what if you find yourself... but realize you're fake... not real...
is that possible?
 
  • #22
Zantra
781
3
Well, if you find you're fake, then you will see the real you beneath. The trick is accepting it instead of fighting it. Ultimately we are who we are. Psychology tells us that our behavioral patterns are set by the early 20's. We may change little things about ourselves, but major behavioral patterns will remain consistent. So you can't change the essence of who you are. You can "fake it" but it will feel unnatural. And ultimately the behaviors will creep back up. It takes a lot more willpower to "fake it, then it does to just let it flow.

It's easier to be true to yourself, then to put on a show for everyone else.
 
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  • #23
Zantra
781
3
Originally posted by TENYEARS
It is the question. It's all about the question and nothing more. It comes back to what I said to Zero once. Why did you drop the ball? It's about that and nothing more. It's a simple riddle with a simple answer. The heaveans will open and the universe will then put forth anthing which you ask it. It has no choice. As long as you keep your part. The mustard seed. This is it you know.

I continue to ponder this riddle along with the rest of the fish.
 
  • #24
Gale
676
2
Well, if you find you're fake, then you will see the real you beneath. The trick is accepting it instead of fighting it. Ultimately we are who we are. Psychology tells us that our behavioral patterns are set by the early 20's. We may change little things about ourselves, but major behavioral patterns will remain consistent. So you can't change the essence of who you are. You can "fake it" but it will feel unnatural. And ultimately the behaviors will creep back up. It takes a lot more willpower to "fake it, then it does to just let it flow.

Ok, well I'm not into my twenties yet. And i think I've been fake my whole life. how can i explain it...

Ok, an actor maybe... an actor is 'themself' or most comfortable on stage. Like, the actor feels out of place if he isn't putting on a show.
Or say, like a clown. What if the clown felt naked without make-up and his whole life was concerned with being a clown and entertaining?
Or even like a lawyer who just doesn't feel right unless they're smiling a fake smile or arguing for something they don't believe in. He doesn't even care what he's arguing, he just needs to argue it, and whether he believes it or not doesn't matter.

Say, you're all of that thrown into one person, are you fake? Does finding yourself mean finding who you are underneath it all? or just accepting everything that you put out? It's like if you peel away all the layers that you put out into the world, all your facades and shows and fake personalities, what if when you get down to the last layer of fakeness, and you peel it away, and there is no more? There is nothing deep down inside. There is no inner you.
 
  • #25
Zantra
781
3
Originally posted by Gale17
Ok, well I'm not into my twenties yet. And i think I've been fake my whole life. how can i explain it...

Ok, an actor maybe... an actor is 'themself' or most comfortable on stage. Like, the actor feels out of place if he isn't putting on a show.
Or say, like a clown. What if the clown felt naked without make-up and his whole life was concerned with being a clown and entertaining?
Or even like a lawyer who just doesn't feel right unless they're smiling a fake smile or arguing for something they don't believe in. He doesn't even care what he's arguing, he just needs to argue it, and whether he believes it or not doesn't matter.

Say, you're all of that thrown into one person, are you fake? Does finding yourself mean finding who you are underneath it all? or just accepting everything that you put out? It's like if you peel away all the layers that you put out into the world, all your facades and shows and fake personalities, what if when you get down to the last layer of fakeness, and you peel it away, and there is no more? There is nothing deep down inside. There is no inner you.

ok well I don't know if I'm being insightful here, but let's say we follow this analogy. If the clowns needs his makeup, what is he trying to hide? Is he afraid of what's underneath? Or is he afraid of what other people will think about what's underneath? Because believe me, there's ALWAYS something under the makeup, because what is makeup but an effort to hide something?

And what good is arguing something you don't believe in? We each need something to believe in. It's what drives us. You have to find what you believe in and follow that path.

Oh, and the early twenties is just vague number- it can swing +/- a few years each way depending on the person.
 
  • #26
Gale
676
2
yeah, so it could be like closer to 30, which I'm even farther from...

But, the clown isn't hiding, the lawyer argues because that's who he is, its what he does. Neither is hiding or pretending or anything like that, its just, that's who they are. I dunno, are you telling its not possible? i don't know.
 
  • #27
Zantra
781
3
Originally posted by Gale17
yeah, so it could be like closer to 30, which I'm even farther from...

But, the clown isn't hiding, the lawyer argues because that's who he is, its what he does. Neither is hiding or pretending or anything like that, its just, that's who they are. I dunno, are you telling its not possible? i don't know.

Anything's possible gale. But I wouldn't point out I never said the lawyer can't argue. Just that he should argue for things he believes in. A victory for something you don't support is still an empty victory. And if 30's the limit then I'm still safe
:wink:
 
  • #28
THANOS
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I thought of it and came to a conclusion that one can not find oneself because one is always oneself. One can only seek what one desires to be.
 
  • #29
Gale
676
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yeah... i think i agree with thanos... or maybe at least.

I've thought about it. I'm not fake.

I suppose 'fakeness' is supposed to be when a person doesn't act like themselves. But a person can only be themself, they have no choice, so everyone is always themselves. Even if they're 'posing' that's just who they are in that situation.

I personally got confused because when people wanted me to be myself, i got the impression that it was something completely personal, separate from the rest of the world. Something hidden from ordinary veiw. Something you keep inside. But its not, or at very least not for me. Its more... everything i put out. Everything people think i am, how ever i make people feel... my effects on the world around me all rolled into one person. You take away all that and there's nothing left, and that doesn't mean I'm nothing.
 
  • #30
TENYEARS
472
0
The meaning of life will be availible to any individual. It is 19.95 plus tax nonrefundable... or you may ask a simple question which you have the capacity to answer. The question you ask will be up to you, for the keys to every lock differs slightly, but the the lock itself is a function which is the same. You must do one thing ask the question. Have you really asked the question? Do you believe you have the capacity to answer the question or are you a second rate citizen? I don't know any second rate citizens, so now the question you must ask yourself is why you have not anwered it. The second you do you will open the door to infinity. If you do not answer this riddle why did you not answer it? Is this just a wild goose chase of a self consoling fools? Will it take to long? Will I waste my life searching for something that does not exist? Why was the ball dropped? When clarity occurs you won't need confirmation even if the entire planet or a million of them said you were wrong. The answer could stand agaist a googooplex of googooplexs of such conditions. This would be a speck compared to the truth.
 
  • #31
FZ+
1,599
3
Originally posted by THANOS
I thought of it and came to a conclusion that one can not find oneself because one is always oneself. One can only seek what one desires to be.

Precisely! Finding oneself is about decisiveness in terms of the path to take.

But is that always (or even ever) a good thing?
 
  • #32
THANOS
218
0
I guess it would be a good thing considering if we decided to be ourselves the momment we were born we would not have as much knowledge we have now. But to say that is truly a good thing would be too presumptuous.

After all we kids learned from the best. Our parents or gaurdians.
 
  • #33
Zantra
781
3
I don't think we COULD be ourselves- I think what we are ultimately is based on life, on our experiences, and our environment. When we come into the world we are ourselves, which is to say we don't have an identity. But as we grow, learn, and experience life, we become who we were meant to be.
 
  • #34
Mumeishi
219
0
I think knowing yourself means understanding your own fundamental motivations and learning to act accordingly. It is emotions that drive us not reasons.
 
  • #35
FZ+
1,599
3
I guess it would be a good thing considering if we decided to be ourselves the momment we were born we would not have as much knowledge we have now. But to say that is truly a good thing would be too resumptuous.

Actually, what I am suggesting is that as individuals, the greatest gift we have is not to be found, but to be lost. Since only when we have not fully made a decision do we have real choice and our is truly free, and that flexibility is what human life is all about. Preferring pragmatism over determination, basically.

We can seek, but we should not find.
 

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