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Flirting allowed?

  1. Apr 25, 2010 #1
    Should those in steady relationships tolerate flirting, and if so, to what degree?
  2. jcsd
  3. Apr 25, 2010 #2
    Who is doing the flirting? Do you mean other singles flirting with persons in a relationship? If so, are they aware that the flirtee is in a relationship?
  4. Apr 25, 2010 #3
    I suppose it depends on what constitutes flirting. I would say that much of the way I interact with the opposite sex is not so different than the way I interact with the same sex. Of course if I talk, smile, laugh, touch in a familiar way with a female it is usually automatically perceived as flirting (at least from a third party perspective). If I talk and laugh with the guys, though, and touch them in a friendly way it is not seen as anything (unless I am touching them in certain ways though I guess). People usually simply do not want their significant other interacting with other (usually attractive) people in a very friendly way and probably mostly because they do not trust their significant other.
  5. Apr 25, 2010 #4
    When one in a couple obviously tries to attract, in turn, the attention of other people they are sexually attracted to.
  6. Apr 25, 2010 #5
    Oh I see. Hmmm... I can't say that I would like my significant other flirting with others, but, I think that I do it sometimes. So, I would have to say that it might be OK so long as it was harmless and I didn't know about it. We have been together for over 5 years, so I trust her fully and she trusts me.
  7. Apr 25, 2010 #6
    Flirting whilst in a relationship. The offenders should be sent to the Gulag for that.
  8. Apr 25, 2010 #7
    Whether you tolerate it or not depends on why she's doing it.

    If you're a guy and your girl is flirting with someone else right in front of you it means:

    1.) She has only been with you cause nothing better has come along. She wants to jump ship.

    2.) She's been outright using you (for money, goods, a place to stay, etc.) She sees someone she actually wants to have sex with.

    3.) She's really into you and wants to test how into her you are. She's insecure and wants you to get jealous.

    4,) She's into you but she thinks you have a possessiveness issue and she's trying to train you to get over it.

    5.) She's into you but things have gotten boring between you lately and she wants admiration from a fresh pair of eyes to feel attractive and sparky again.
  9. Apr 25, 2010 #8
    And if you're a girl and your guy is flirting with someone else right in front of you it means:(?)

    [Your insights fascinate me. I'd like to hear what you think is operating in the opposite direction.]
  10. Apr 25, 2010 #9
    If this forum had karma you'd get one.

    Always a prize to see people realize that one situation can have many different causes, too seldom it is observed.
  11. Apr 25, 2010 #10
    That you're one boring girl. :tongue:
  12. Apr 25, 2010 #11
    Nahh, it means what it says right there, you're a girl and you're dating a guy.
  13. Apr 25, 2010 #12
    Or I'm easily entertained. One or the other. :tongue:
  14. Apr 25, 2010 #13
    Well, it depends. Is it harmless?

    Then don't freak out about it. Nothing is going on- just friendly flirting. That happens. It's even normal and funny.
    But if your other has a *problem* with that (in a non-creepy/possessive way), then for god's sake don't do it. That's inconsiderate.

    And don't do it to piss off, hurt, or make your other jealous. If that happens in a relationship, someone needs to grow up.
  15. Apr 25, 2010 #14
    Heehe. Props to that. :D
  16. Apr 25, 2010 #15


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    Staff: Mentor

    Not if the non-flirting partner is bothered by it.
  17. Apr 25, 2010 #16
    This assumes that the person is indeed "flirting" and not just generally interacting with a person, as well that you are capable of telling the difference.
  18. Apr 25, 2010 #17
    That's the problem, isn't it? :P
  19. Apr 25, 2010 #18
    It's a continuum anyway.
  20. Apr 25, 2010 #19
    I think it's pretty straightforward. The list supplied by Zoobyshoe sounds a whole lot like all kinds of game-playing to me, and I really have no time for any of that kind of stuff.

    I think there are some pretty easy guidelines. If your behaviour is hurtful to your partner, then don't do it. If that particular behaviour is intrinsic to who you are, then you need a new partner who isn't hurt by it. If your partner is being irrational or over-the-top insecure and/or trying to control you by objecting to your behaviour, then get another partner; that one is broken.
  21. Apr 25, 2010 #20
    *thumbs up*
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