For Gale17 - to cheer you up

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Tsu

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For Gale17 - to cheer you up!!

Thoughts to ponder…

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to say "See that chicken there....I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're
both dogs!

What do you call male ballerinas?

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?
 
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haha thanks a bunch, i printed it out and'll keep it under my pillow for the next time i'm all sad. very cute, thanks.
 
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Gale, just want you to know, I know how you feel man. I was depressed for 2 years in High School. I wanted nothing to do with the world so I did nothing but wait till someone would come and shoot me with a gun. Well, i went into the School Library one day and picked up a book called Einsteins Theory of Relativity. I always thought about my Uncle and what he talked about, because he knows alot of things. So I know one time he was talking about Einsteins Theory of Relativity. Anyways, he influenced me a little, so i checked the book called Einsteins Theory of Relativty by Max Born. I fell in love with Mathematics and Physics after that. I read the book intill I could understand every thing. I studied the book for a long while and I still do. It has lots of Mathematical Formulas in Physics to be studyed in the book.

It was then I found beauty in Mathematics and Physics. I looked at it as an Art of Knowledge. Well, I got so into it I bought my own books. I read and read. I then suddenly started magically making Straight A's. I've gained some popularity and I still make straight A's. So I took something like mathematics and physics to take my mind off the World I did not want to be a part of in the first place. Now i'm more involved in the world. I hope to be a NASA Engineer. Anyways, all you need to do is find something great and stay with it, to expand it and make it better.
 
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thanks so much zeronem that's exactly what i needed, just someone to relate to. i'm feeling much better at any rate. thanks all
 

Ivan Seeking

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Re: For Gale17 - to cheer you up!!

Originally posted by Tsunami
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Aside from the chuckles this one struck me a bit. I am thinking that this was chosen for the memory association; assuming that this was no accident or course. Most any US child would know the song. Is this song cross cultural?
 
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Re: For Gale17 - to cheer you up!!

Originally posted by Tsunami
Thoughts to ponder…

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
Presumably when they saw the little calfs growing large by drinking from them.

Who was the first person to say "See that chicken there....I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."
The egg does not come out of the butt.


What do you call male ballerinas?
Ballet dancers.
 

Tsu

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Re: Re: For Gale17 - to cheer you up!!

Originally posted by plus
Presumably when they saw the little calfs growing large by drinking from them.



The egg does not come out of the butt.



Ballet dancers.
Hey, Plus! This isn't a test! Just a few nonsensical things to make you LAUGH! OK?
 
5,818
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Tsunami:

I guess the people who need it the
most are the people who get it the least.

I loved it! I laughed so hard I
almost tossed cookies.

For some reason the Disney World
one really got to me.

Great stuff!

-Zooby
 
S

steppenwolf

Re: Re: For Gale17 - to cheer you up!!

Originally posted by Ivan Seeking
Aside from the chuckles this one struck me a bit. I am thinking that this was chosen for the memory association; assuming that this was no accident or course. Most any US child would know the song. Is this song cross cultural?
well the tune was composed by mozart, it is obviously an undercover classical music society trying desperately to make sure at least one of the great masters pieces makes it into the next century.
 
5,818
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Actually all Mozart did was write
a set of variations on the tune.
It goes back even farther than
him, and I believe it is French
in origin.
 

Ivan Seeking

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Re: Re: Re: For Gale17 - to cheer you up!!

Originally posted by steppenwolf
well the tune was composed by mozart, it is obviously an undercover classical music society trying desperately to make sure at least one of the great masters pieces makes it into the next century.
LOL! I knew this but I completely forgot. Uh oh...

Actually all Mozart did was write
a set of variations on the tune.
It goes back even farther than
him, and I believe it is French
in origin.
This I did not know. Interesting. Do you know how old it is?

I suppose now your going to tell me that Mozart composed Jimmy cracks corn also?
 
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Yes, I've just come back from
Google and the tune was written
by a Frenchman named Bouin
in 1761. It was called "Ah! Vous
Dirai-je Mama"

It probably gained no currency
till Mozart composed his variations on it.
 
5,818
1,270
Re: Re: Re: Re: For Gale17 - to cheer you up!!

Originally posted by Ivan Seeking
I suppose now your going to tell me that Mozart composed Jimmy cracks corn also?

Actual title: Jimmy Crack
Corn. Not Cracks or Cracked (as I thought it was). Mozart? He probably would have composed it if he'd still been alive when it was
composed, but by then he was
decomposing.

Jimmy Crack Corn appears to have
firat been published in 1846 and
is attriuted to an outfit called
The Virginia Minstrels.:wink:
 
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Re: Re: Re: For Gale17 - to cheer you up!!

Originally posted by Tsunami
Hey, Plus! This isn't a test! Just a few nonsensical things to make you LAUGH! OK?
I got the joke. I just thought I might as well put in a reply. My favourite one was


Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? [/B
 

Tsu

Gold Member
322
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Re: Re: Re: Re: For Gale17 - to cheer you up!!

Originally posted by plus
I got the joke.


Oh, good! I was worried about you! I was starting to think that all you heavy duty science people couldn't laugh at anything without the terms 'general relativity' or 'quantum mechanics' in it - and really - what could be that funny about GR or QM? Then I got to thinking "Hey! What if they think EVERYTHING is a TEST! YUK!!" You folks are STRANGE!! But, then again - I LIKE strange!! (I MARRIED 'strange'!) That's why I'm here at PF. :wink:
 
S

steppenwolf

Ah! vous dirai-je, maman,
Ce qui cause mon tourment
Depuis que j'ai vu Silvandre
Me regarder d'un air tendre,
Mon coeur dit a tout moment:
Peut-on vivre sans amant?
aww, that's very cute;

ah! i will tell you mother,
what causes my torment
since i saw silvandre
watch me with a tender look
my heart says at every moment
can one live without a lover?

i am sad; my illusins of mozart composing that tune at the age of 5 have been shaterred forever! ah well...
 

Ivan Seeking

Staff Emeritus
Science Advisor
Gold Member
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Originally posted by steppenwolf
i am sad; my illusins of mozart composing that tune at the age of 5 have been shaterred forever! ah well...
But we will always have Metropolis
 

Tsu

Gold Member
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Originally posted by Ivan Seeking
But we will always have Metropolis
Absolutely one of the best movies ever made!!!
 
S

steppenwolf

haha yes, metropolis :smile: if only they had a complete version of it, although all the blank bits add to the feel, i can't help wonder what was there though...
 

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