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For Gale17 - to cheer you up

  1. Aug 22, 2003 #1


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    For Gale17 - to cheer you up!!

    Thoughts to ponder…

    Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

    Who was the first person to say "See that chicken there....I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."

    Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

    If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

    Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

    Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

    Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

    Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're
    both dogs!

    What do you call male ballerinas?

    If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

    If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

    If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
    vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

    If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

    Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

    Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

    Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

    Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?
  2. jcsd
  3. Aug 22, 2003 #2
    haha thanks a bunch, i printed it out and'll keep it under my pillow for the next time i'm all sad. very cute, thanks.
  4. Aug 22, 2003 #3
    Gale, just want you to know, I know how you feel man. I was depressed for 2 years in High School. I wanted nothing to do with the world so I did nothing but wait till someone would come and shoot me with a gun. Well, i went into the School Library one day and picked up a book called Einsteins Theory of Relativity. I always thought about my Uncle and what he talked about, because he knows alot of things. So I know one time he was talking about Einsteins Theory of Relativity. Anyways, he influenced me a little, so i checked the book called Einsteins Theory of Relativty by Max Born. I fell in love with Mathematics and Physics after that. I read the book intill I could understand every thing. I studied the book for a long while and I still do. It has lots of Mathematical Formulas in Physics to be studyed in the book.

    It was then I found beauty in Mathematics and Physics. I looked at it as an Art of Knowledge. Well, I got so into it I bought my own books. I read and read. I then suddenly started magically making Straight A's. I've gained some popularity and I still make straight A's. So I took something like mathematics and physics to take my mind off the World I did not want to be a part of in the first place. Now i'm more involved in the world. I hope to be a NASA Engineer. Anyways, all you need to do is find something great and stay with it, to expand it and make it better.
  5. Aug 22, 2003 #4
    thanks so much zeronem that's exactly what i needed, just someone to relate to. i'm feeling much better at any rate. thanks all
  6. Aug 23, 2003 #5

    Ivan Seeking

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    Re: For Gale17 - to cheer you up!!

    Aside from the chuckles this one struck me a bit. I am thinking that this was chosen for the memory association; assuming that this was no accident or course. Most any US child would know the song. Is this song cross cultural?
  7. Aug 23, 2003 #6
    Re: For Gale17 - to cheer you up!!

    Presumably when they saw the little calfs growing large by drinking from them.

    The egg does not come out of the butt.

    Ballet dancers.
  8. Aug 23, 2003 #7


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    Re: Re: For Gale17 - to cheer you up!!

    Hey, Plus! This isn't a test! Just a few nonsensical things to make you LAUGH! OK?
  9. Aug 23, 2003 #8

    I guess the people who need it the
    most are the people who get it the least.

    I loved it! I laughed so hard I
    almost tossed cookies.

    For some reason the Disney World
    one really got to me.

    Great stuff!

  10. Aug 24, 2003 #9
    Re: Re: For Gale17 - to cheer you up!!

    well the tune was composed by mozart, it is obviously an undercover classical music society trying desperately to make sure at least one of the great masters pieces makes it into the next century.
  11. Aug 24, 2003 #10
    Actually all Mozart did was write
    a set of variations on the tune.
    It goes back even farther than
    him, and I believe it is French
    in origin.
  12. Aug 24, 2003 #11

    Ivan Seeking

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    Re: Re: Re: For Gale17 - to cheer you up!!

    LOL! I knew this but I completely forgot. Uh oh...

    This I did not know. Interesting. Do you know how old it is?

    I suppose now your going to tell me that Mozart composed Jimmy cracks corn also?
    Last edited: Aug 24, 2003
  13. Aug 24, 2003 #12
    Yes, I've just come back from
    Google and the tune was written
    by a Frenchman named Bouin
    in 1761. It was called "Ah! Vous
    Dirai-je Mama"

    It probably gained no currency
    till Mozart composed his variations on it.
  14. Aug 24, 2003 #13
    Re: Re: Re: Re: For Gale17 - to cheer you up!!

    Actual title: Jimmy Crack
    Corn. Not Cracks or Cracked (as I thought it was). Mozart? He probably would have composed it if he'd still been alive when it was
    composed, but by then he was

    Jimmy Crack Corn appears to have
    firat been published in 1846 and
    is attriuted to an outfit called
    The Virginia Minstrels.:wink:
    Last edited: Aug 24, 2003
  15. Aug 24, 2003 #14
    Re: Re: Re: For Gale17 - to cheer you up!!

    I got the joke. I just thought I might as well put in a reply. My favourite one was

  16. Aug 24, 2003 #15


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    Re: Re: Re: Re: For Gale17 - to cheer you up!!

    Oh, good! I was worried about you! I was starting to think that all you heavy duty science people couldn't laugh at anything without the terms 'general relativity' or 'quantum mechanics' in it - and really - what could be that funny about GR or QM? Then I got to thinking "Hey! What if they think EVERYTHING is a TEST! YUK!!" You folks are STRANGE!! But, then again - I LIKE strange!! (I MARRIED 'strange'!) That's why I'm here at PF. :wink:
  17. Aug 25, 2003 #16


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  18. Aug 26, 2003 #17
    aww, that's very cute;

    ah! i will tell you mother,
    what causes my torment
    since i saw silvandre
    watch me with a tender look
    my heart says at every moment
    can one live without a lover?

    i am sad; my illusins of mozart composing that tune at the age of 5 have been shaterred forever! ah well...
  19. Aug 29, 2003 #18

    Ivan Seeking

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    But we will always have Metropolis
  20. Aug 29, 2003 #19


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    Absolutely one of the best movies ever made!!!
  21. Aug 29, 2003 #20
    haha yes, metropolis :smile: if only they had a complete version of it, although all the blank bits add to the feel, i can't help wonder what was there though...
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