Hello All, I've been a periodic reader of this forum. Just thought of posting a thread for opinions from you guru's. Okay here goes ... I'm doing my 1st year of Electrical Engineering. Every class in Physics, I question myself if I really have what it takes to continue ... I find the labs of every science that I take really confusing I need to spend ages figuring them out while others can do it less easily. I don't think I'm a person who memorizes stuff, atleast I'd want to believe not to ... however, after I learn something it becomes unfamiliar really soon maybe even in 2 months time. Well not everything like C++ programming sticks with you cause its just a build-up of the basics but that not true for Physics where we do magnetism, electrostatics etc ... I do agree that there is a build-up connection like an electric current produces magnetic field, but they are unique among themselves ... the formula's I derive for the electric field due to an infinately long wire / plane or E field of a ring / sphere ... I forget their derivations as well as the forumla's when I come to magnetism where I derive the magnetic field of an infinately long wire or a ring. I work hard I guess, but not smart... I procrastinate alot, waste a lot of time just thinking about non-sense when I should be studying and in the end it shows in my grades. I honestly don't remember much of the things I did in high-school so I have to spent a lot of time learning it again properly. Only thing I have been able to cope up in university until now is Maths, that to with some effort. Yet again, I feel that what I am learning is slowly leaking away. Could you PLEASE suggest a method where I could retain these things longer? I've heard that all engineers have to do a 4th year design project based on the knowledge they acquire through courses ... I'm really afraid that the way I am going now ... I won't really know anything and I would have to re-learn a lot just to complete my project. I always suffer from this feeling that I'm an idiot and know nothing, sometimes I sit in class and wonder why I even go to them ... cause I don't really understand much of anything taught , its only when I come home and read the text that I actually understand. Recently I've begun taking my textbook to class and learning stuff from it while the prof. is teaching ... I know if I read before and then attended the lectures they would make more sense ... but I really don't have the time to do that .. I'm playying cath-up with mid-terms I have this week, assignments to complete and 2 practical exams. Maybe I don't value the positive achievements I have in life, very few any way ... but I always fret about things I can't do ... the list is endless ... I can't get up easily in the mornings, I can't talk with a beautiful girl without making a fool of myself, I really can't even talk with a professor a lot cause I'm too afraid that he'll realize I know nothing .. I'd rather email them then talk to them in person cause of this fear. Sometimes, I browse through the discussions through the other sub-forums and I think will I be ever able to hold that kind of arguments in my life? I'd really love to feel "knowledgeable" internally ... Also, I have this belief that I would be happy socially and with myself if I had a certain project to do in life ... something related to my field ... which I would keep building up on / updating as I learn more and more ... do you'll have any suggstions as to what I could do? ... It'd be some-what as a buffer like thing ... I could work on it whenever I feel I'm too overwhelmed by everything else and then one fine day it would be complete and god willing ... I would have definately been able to accomplish something significant with it. I've read interesting things right now about Time travel, teleportation, anti-gravity, search for magnetic mono-poles etc ... I understand the beauty behind these yet to be completely discovered "concepts", but I have really nothng to add to them ... I can only read about it and try and make an attempt to understand ... Hmm, I aplogize for the long read ... but would appreciate any replies.