Funniest song lyrics ever

  • #1
If you want my body and you think I’m sexy
Come on honey tell me so
If you really need me just reach out and touch me"
- Rod Stewart"
http://www.lyricsfreak.com/r/rod-stewart/117185.html

"Sexbomb sexbomb you’re my sexbomb
And baby you can turn me on turn me on darlin’
Sexbomb sexbomb you’re my sexbomb sexbomb
You can give it to me when I need to come along
Sexbomb sexbomb your’re my sexbomb
And baby you can turn me on

You can give me more and more counting up the score
Yeah
You can turn me upside down inside out
You can make me feel the real deal uh uh
I can give it to you any time because you’re mine
Ouch, sexbomb, aw baby

Sexbomb sexbomb you’re my sexbomb
And you can give it to me when I need to be turned on
No, no
Sexbomb sexbomb you’re my sexbomb
And baby you can turn me on turn me on
And baby you can turn me on turn me on
Baby you can turn me on turn me on
Ooh baby you can turn me on turn me on
Baby you can turn me on oh
Baby you can turn me on oh
Baby you can turn me on
Well baby you can turn me on"
http://www.lyricsfreak.com/t/tom-jones/138371.html""]http://www.lyricsfreak.com/t/tom-jones/138371.html"[/URL] :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


What song lyrics do you all think are funny?
 

Answers and Replies

  • #2
117
16
:yuck: :yuck: :yuck: :yuck:

...Ooh boys cheeky girls
Ooh girls cheeky boys

I never ever ask where do you go
I never ever ask what do you do
I never ever ask what’s in your mind
I never ever ask if you’ll be mine
Come and smile don’t be shy
Touch my bum this is life.

Oooooh

We are the cheeky girls
We are the cheeky girls...
:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

It's called "Touch my bum" by the Cheeky Girls. They're two Romanian twins. I think this song reached #2 or #3 in the UK a few years back...cringeworthy.

What about Sarah Brightman "I lost my heart to a starship trooper"
...I lost my heart to a starship trooper
crashing light in hyperspace
fighting for the federation
hand in hand we'll conquer space...
I think I'm gonna hurl...excuse me...
 
  • #3
Good Grief Charlie Brown

Sarah Brightman - I lost my heart to a starship trooper
Speaker 1:
Arcaida
X-ray X-ray delta niner niner zero
This is Starfleet Control
You are clear to go hyper space
Acknowledge

Speaker 2:
Affirmative, Star Comm
We have situation gold

Speaker 1:
Niner niner zero, roger
You're looking good for trans-light


Sarah singing:
I lost my heart to a starship trooper
I lost my heart to a starship trooper
Oh...


Hey, Captain Strange, won't you be my lover
You're the best thing that I've ever discovered
Flash Gordon's left me, he's gone to the stars
An evil Darth Vader has me banished to Mars


Tell me, Captain Strange, do you feel my devotion
Or are you like a droid, devoid of emotion
Encounters one and two are not enough for me
What my body needs is close encounter three


I lost my heart to a starship trooper
Flashing lights in hyper space
Fighting for the Federation
Hand in hand we'll conquer space


Listen, Captain Strange, what's our destination
The scanners seem to indicate a small deviation
Static on the comm - it's Starfleet Command
Requesting your position, it's their final demand


You're intentions are known, they've found out at last
So if you're gonna take me, please make it fast
Touch me, feel me, do what you will
I want to feel that galatic thrill


I lost my heart to a starship trooper
Flashing lights in hyper space
Fighting for the Federation
Hand in hand we'll conquer space


Speaker 1:
Niner niner zero
This is Star Comm
We got a problem
On your vector
Request status check
Over


Sarah singing:
Oh, baby...


Speaker 3:
Arcadia
This is Strategy Control
You have course devation
At five mark six
Acknowledge


Sarah singing:
I love you...


Speaker 1:
Arcaida
We show condition red
Confirm


Sarah singing:
Love me...


Speaker 3:
What's going on out there


Sarah singing:
Oh...
I lost my heart to a starship trooper
Flashing lights in hyper space
Fighting for the Federation
Hand in hand we'll conquer space
I lost my heart to a starship trooper
Oh...


Space suit is lying on control room floor
Pulse rate increasing as the heat factor soars
Take me, make me feel the force
Ignore the computers, we're locked on course


I lost my heart to a starship trooper
Flashing lights in hyper space
Fighting for the Federation
Hand in hand we'll conquer space


I lost my heart to a starship trooper
Flashing lights in hyper space
Fighting for the Federation
Hand in hand we'll conquer space


Speaker 1, while Sarah sings
the previous lines repeatedly:
Niner niner zero
This is Star Comm
Be advised
You have serious vector deviation
I repeat: serious vector deviation


Arcadia
Niner niner zero
Do you copy


This is Starfleet Control
To all ships in sector five
Be advided
Arcadia
Niner niner zero
Is off course
All ships squawk ident


Starship Arcadia
This is Starfleet Control
Squawk ident
I repeat: squawk ident
http://www.xs4all.nl/~josvg/cits/sb/singles/starship.html

I've never heard this song before, but by looking at the lyrics. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
 
  • #4
315
6
bob marley - i smoke 2 joints

I smoke two joints in the morning
I smoke two joints at night,
I smoke two joints in the afternoon
and it makes me feel alright
smoke two joints in time of peace
into the time of war
smoke two joints before i smoke two joints
and then i smoke some more

yeah thats what i do, hey

mama she always told me son you really have it bad
mama she always told me son you do the best you can
then one day i met a man she came to me and said
i work good and i work fine but first take care of him

i smoke two joints in the morning
i smoke two joints at night
i smoke two joints in the video game
and it mkes me feel alright
i smoke two joints in the time of peace
into the time of war
smoke two joints before i smoke two joints
and then i smoke some more

ooh ooh ooh ooh

one peace one time
funny days, funny days
gimme that bassline

fellas fellas


--------------------------------------------------------------
the way i mate - rednex

The way I mate, the way I mate, the way I mate
I call a girlie girlie in a wae-oh
I call a girlie girlie in a wae-oh

I call a hubby hubby, eep-eep-eep

Girls, come on let's have a good time
It is the day to get wild
Do you feel like going down

Mating seasons in heat
Come on and get to your feet
To get laid we eep-eep-eep

Time to go-go
wae-oh wae-oh

Bushes are moving around
All the beavers have fun
They are playing with their guns

Guys are chasing around
Getting ready to beep
When they all hear our eep-eep-eep

-------------------------------------------------------------------
hey - pixies

Hey
Been trying to meet you
Hey
Must be a devil between us
Or whores in my head
Whores at my door
Whores in my bed
But hey
Where
Have you
Been if you go I will surely die
We’re chained

Uh said the man to the lady
Uh said the lady to the man she adored
And the whores like a choir
Go uh all night
And mary ain’t you tired of this
Uh
Is
The
Sound
That the mother makes when the baby breaks
We’re chained
----------------------------------------------------------------------
monkey's gone to heaven - pixies

There was a guy
An under water guy who controlled the sea
Got killed by ten million pounds of sludge
From new york and new jersey
This monkey’s gone to heaven

The creature in the sky
Got sucked in ahole
Now there’s a hole in the sky
And the ground’s not cold
And if the ground’s not cold
Everything is gonna burn
We’ll all take turns
I’ll get mine, too
This monkey’s gone to haven

Rock me joe!

If man is 5 [3x]
Then the devil is 6 [5x]
Then God is 7 [3x]
This monkey’s gone to heaven
--------------------------------------------------------------
gigantic - pixies

And this I know
His teeth as white as snow
What a gas it was to see him
Walk her every day
Into a shady place
With her lips she said
She said

Hey paul, hey paul, hey paul, let’s have a ball (3x)

Gigantic, gigantic, gigantic
A big big love
Gigantic, gigantic, gigantic
A big big love

Lovely legs there are
What a big black mask
What a hunk of love
Walk her every day into a shady place
He’s like the dark, but I’d want him

Hey paul, hey paul, hey paul, let’s have a ball (3x)

Gigantic, gigantic, gigantic
A big big love
Gigantic, gigantic, gigantic
A big big love

Gigantic, gigantic, gigantic
A big big love
Gigantic, gigantic, gigantic
A big big love


is she implying black dudes got gigantic...?

-------------------------------------------------------------------
Mr. Bungle - aqueeze me macaroni



I wanna lock Betty Crocker in the kitchen
And knock her upper during supper
Clutter up her butter gutter
Hostess Ding Dong wrapped an eggroll around my wong
While Dolly Madison proceded to ping my pong
Your Milky Way is M'n'M in your britches
And I'll tell you Baby Ruth it looks mighty delicious
Keep blowing my gum, cuz here I come
I'm gonna get you all sticky with my Bubble Yum
Knick knack paddywhack and give your dog a bone, baby
I was givin' some head to some french bread
It was a four course orgy on the spread of my bed
French kissin' french fries in my Fruit of the Looms
I get deeper penetration with a fork and a spoon
I got yogurt meat loaf smeared all over my ass
I stick my weiner in two buns and and then give it the gas
Sour cream from my spleen into Levi jeans
Gonna bust the seams with my refried beans
Ronald McDonald just loves to be fondled
With Big Mac he'll **** it like a Chicken McNugget
Colonel Sanders wants to goose Granny's loose caboose
He's gonna give her a boost with that Kentucky fried juice
Sooper doop poop scoop, loop de loop, chicken coop
Shoot some hoop, top sirloin from the groin
Topped with dick cheese, sneeze, wheeze,
From the skeez disease, wooi!
Take a dump, baby, squirt some gravy
Pour some sugar on me, honey, make it brown & runny
Give a little Flavor Flav, back from the grave
Gonna burn some toast, pump some humpin' rump roast
Knick knack paddywhack, jump in the sack, in fact
Jerk the smack and crack Jack from the back
Bananarama or ramabanana
****in' Barry Manilow on the Copa Cabana
Squeeze me macaroni, slop your face with my bologna
You gotta syphon the spinach, you gotta cream the corn
Sperm scrambles the eggs and a meal is born
Cookin' like a beginner, but I'm goin' up in her
I had Fritos for lunch I'm havin' bush for dinner
Chef Boyardee and the Three Muskateers
Shove Charleston Chews in their rears like queers
Holy moly, guacamole! said my Chips Ahoy
I'm gonna pinch a ravioli on the Pillsbury dough boy
Knick knack paddywhack and give your dog a boner, baby
We came to pottie...we came to pottie down your throat

---------------------------------------------------------------------


had enough yet?
 
  • #5
:yuck: That last one makes me wanna gag.
 
  • #6
315
6
by the way, in case you gave up on my long post... i saved the best for the end. :biggrin:
 
  • #7
315
6
The Lumberjack Song from "Monty Python's Flying Circus"
Continued from Petshop, Barber, or a variety of other Python sketches....

I never wanted to do this job in the first place!
I... I wanted to be...

A LUMBERJACK!

(piano vamp)

Leaping from tree to tree! As they float down the mighty rivers of
British Columbia! With my best girl by my side!
The Larch!
The Pine!
The Giant Redwood tree!
The Sequoia!
The Little Whopping Rule Tree!
We'd sing! Sing! Sing!


Oh, I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay,
I sleep all night and I work all day.

CHORUS: He's a lumberjack, and he's okay,
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees, I eat my lunch,
I go to the lava-try.
On Wednesdays I go shoppin'
And have buttered scones for tea.

Mounties: He cuts down trees, he eats his lunch,
He goes to the lava-try.
On Wednesdays 'e goes shoppin'
And has buttered scones for tea.

CHORUS

I cut down trees, I skip and jump,
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing,
And hang around in bars.

Mounties: He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps,
He likes to press wild flowers.
He puts on women's clothing
And hangs around.... In bars???????

CHORUS

I chop down trees, I wear high heels,
Suspendies and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie
Just like my dear papa.

Mounties: He cuts down trees, he wears high heels
Suspendies?? and a .... a Bra????
(spoken, raggedly) What's this? Wants to be a *girlie*? Oh, My!
And I thought you were so rugged! Poofter!

CHORUS

All: He's a lumberjack, and he's okaaaaaaayyy..... (BONG)

Sound Cue: The Liberty Bell March, by John Phillip Sousa.
-or-
===============================================================================

Dear Sir,
I wish to complain on the stronglyest possible terms about the previous
entry in this file about the lumberjack who wears womens' clothes. Some of
my best friends are lumberjacks, and only a FEW of them are transvestites.

Yours faithfully,
Brigadier Sir Charles Arthur Strong, Mrs.

P.S. I have never kissed the editor of the radio times.
 
  • #8
315
6
*** I like Chinese
*** from Monty Python's Contractual Obligation Album
*** transcribed from tape 11/16/87 Daniel Rich <drich@research1.bgsu.edu>

(spoken)
The world today is absolutely cracked.
With nuclear bombs to blow us all sky high.
There's fools and idiots sitting on the trigger.
It's depressing, and it's senseless, and that's why...

(singing)
I like chinese,
I like chinese,
They only come up to you knees,
Yet they're always friendly and they're ready to to please.

I like chinese,
I like chinese,
There's nine hundred million of them in the world today,
You'd better learn to like them, that's what I say.

I like chinese,
I like chinese,
They come from a long way overseas,
But they're cute, and they're cuddly, and they're ready to please.

I like chinese food,
The waiters never are rude,
Think the many things they've done to impress,
There's maoism, taoism, eging and chess.

I like chinese,
I like chinese,
I like their tiny little trees,
Their zen, their ping-pong, their ying and yang-eze.

I like chinese thought,
The wisdom that Confusious taught,
If Darwin is anything to shout about,
The chinese will survive us all without any doubt.

So, I like chinese,
I like chinese,
They only come up to you knees,
Yet they're wise, and they're witty, and they're ready to please

Wo ai Zhong-guo ren [Wo, I chumba run]
Wo ai Zhong-guo ren
Wo ai Zhong-guo ren
Ni Hao Ma? Ni Hao Ma? Ni Hao Ma? Zai zhen [Ne hamma? ... Chi Chen]

I like chinese,
I like chinese,
They're food is guaranteed to please,
A fourteen, a seven, a nine and li-chese

I like chinese,
I like chinese,
I like their tiny little trees,
Their zen, their ping-pong, their yin and yang-eze

I like chinese,
I like chinese,
(fade out....)
 
  • #9
315
6
the following song has an age limit of 18 :tongue2:
so if youre too young, you have to get adult supervision or something..


"Sit on my Face" from "Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl"

Sit on my face, and tell me that you love me.
I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you, too.
I love to hear you moralize,
When I'm between your thighs;
You blow me away!

Sit on my face and let my lips embrace you.
I'll sit on your face and let my love be truly.
Life can be fine if we both sixty-nine,
And we'll sit on our faces in all sorts of places and play,
'Till we're blown away!
 
  • #10
315
6
this one is dedicated to Math Is Hard :biggrin:

My cat,by Jack off Jill.

My cat
Cool cat
Good cat
Pussy cat

When I see him walking
Makes no sense to me
My cat is everywhere
We watch him on TV

My cat is amazing
He can play the guitar
He may not be an actor
But he's a pussy superstar

My cat
Cool cat

My cat is everywhere
Sees what he can see
He may not be an actor
He acts atrociously

My cat is amazing
He can play the guitar
He may not be an actor
But he's a pussy superstar

My cat isn't crazy
He's everything to me
My cat burns the bible
And he thinks it's so funny

He isn't very good
He isn't very smart
He may not be Picasso
But he is a work of art

Hates me as much as I hate you

My cat
Cool cat
Good cat
Pussy cat

When I see him walking
Makes no sense to me
My cat is everywhere
We watch him on TV

My cat is amazing
He can play the guitar
He may not be an actor
But he's a pussy superstar

My cat isn't crazy
He's everything to me
My cat burns the bible
And he thinks it's so funny

He isn't very good
He isn't very smart
He may not be Picasso
But he is a work of art

My cat is handsome
He can play the guitar
He can break my arm in seven places
He can eat a whole watermelon
My cat my cat
 
  • #11
315
6
bloodhound gang - hell yeah


Alright now boys and girls we’ve got another story for you now!
We want to introduce to you another friend of the bible!

Hell yeah
Hell yeah
Hell yeah
Hell yeah

If I were God there would be no explicit sex on t.v.
Like little opie eating pie when he made it with aunt bea

If I were God thou shall not worship false billy idols
And thou shall add the book of flavor flav to the bible
Thou shall make fun of hindus thou shall not make a speed 2
If I were God that’s what I’d do heavens no

Hell yeah
Hell yeah
Hell yeah
Hell yeah

If I were God I’d get a bunch of slaves to do everything
Norwegian lesbians that feed me grapes and know how to sing

If I were God thou shall not wear tube socks with flip-flops
Thou shall sit and thou shall spin thou shall even wife swap
Thou shall resist the olsen twins, thou shall not cut footloose
If I were God that’s what I’d do, heavens no

Hell yeah
Hell yeah
Hell yeah
Hell yeah

And when they nail my pimpled ass to the cross
I’ll tell them I found jesus that should throw them off
He goes by the name jesus and steals hubcaps from cars
Oh jesus can I borrow your crowbar?
To pry these God damn nails out they’re beginning to hurt
Crucified and all I got was this lousy t-shirt
I can’t believe it’s not butter! I’ll sing as I’m flogged
Yeah that’s what I would do if I were god
So vote for me for savior and you’ll go to heaven
Your lame duck lord is like kevin spacey in seven
With creepy threats of h-e-double-hockey-stick
You just can’t teach an old God new tricks
But would I be a good messiah with my low self-esteem?
If I don’t believe in myself would that be blasphemy?
Just sport some crummy holier than thou facade
Yeah that’s what I would do if I were god
 
  • #12
315
6
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
hehe, it seems im just singing to myself :biggrin:
 
  • #13
315
6
well, i couldnt help myself...

Cheer up, Brian. You know what they say.
Some things in life are bad,
They can really make you mad.
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle,
Don't grumble, give a whistle!
And this'll help things turn out for the best...
And...

the music fades into the song

...always look on the bright side of life!
whistle

Always look on the bright side of life...
If life seems jolly rotten,
There's something you've forgotten!
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing,

When you're feeling in the dumps,
Don't be silly chumps,
Just purse your lips and whistle -- that's the thing!
And... always look on the bright side of life...

whistle
Come on!

other start to join in
Always look on the bright side of life...
whistle

For life is quite absurd,
And death's the final word.
You must always face the curtain with a bow!
Forget about your sin -- give the audience a grin,
Enjoy it -- it's the last chance anyhow!

So always look on the bright side of death!
Just before you draw your terminal breath.
Life's a piece of sh*t,
When you look at it.

Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true,
You'll see it's all a show,
Keep 'em laughing as you go.
Just remember that the last laugh is on you!

And always look on the bright side of life...
whistle
Always look on the bright side of life
whistle
 
  • #15
Now I just want to call someone sex bomb and see what kind of absurd reaction I get. :D
And yeah, fargoth you're songs were pretty damn funny.
 
  • #16
241
1
Vulcanize the whoopee stick
In the ham wallet

Cattle prod the oyster ditch
With the lap rocket

Batter dip the cranny ax
In the gut locker

Retrofit the pudding hatch
Ooh la la
With the boink swatter

If i get you in the loop when I make a point to be straight with you then
In lieu of the innuendo in the end know my intent though
I brazillian wax poetic so pathetically
I don't wanna beat around the bush

Foxtrot Unifrom Charlie Kilo
Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo

Marinate the nether rod
In the squish mitten

Power drill the yippee bog
With the dude piston

Pressure wash the quiver bone
In the bit** wrinkle

Cannonball the fiddle cove
Ooh la la
With the pork steeple

If i get you in the loop when I make a point to be straight with you then
In lieu of the innuendo in the end know my intent though
I brazillian wax poetic so pathetically
I don't wanna beat around the bush

Foxtrot Unifrom Charlie Kilo
Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo

Put the you know what in the you know where
Put the you know what in the you know where
Put the you know what in the you know where
Put the you know what in the you know where pronto
"Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo" by the Bloodhound Gang
 
  • #17
BobG
Science Advisor
Homework Helper
185
80
John Prine has a couple of classics.

In Spite of Ourselves (Duet with John Prine and Iris Dement) said:
She don’t like her eggs all runny
She thinks crossin’ her legs is funny
She looks down her nose at money
She gets it on like the easter bunny
She’s my baby I’m her honey
I’m never gonna let her go

He ain’t got laid in a month of sundays
I caught him once and he was sniffin’ my undies
He ain’t too sharp but he gets things done
Drinks his beer like it’s oxygen
He’s my baby
And I’m his honey
Never gonna let him go
Illegal Smile said:
When I woke up this morning, things were lookin’ bad
Seem like total silence was the only friend I had
Bowl of oatmeal tried to stare me down... and won
And it was twelve o’clock before I realized
That I was havin’ .. no fun
 
  • #18
I have always liked Rock Lobster but when I looked up the lyrics I realized that they aren't really funny if you just read them.

Bands I like with funny lyrics would have to include They Might Be Giants, Darkest of the Hillside Thickets, Soul Coughing, and Tom Waits.
 
  • #19
658
2
Sublime- Date Rape

That's when things got out of control.
The moral of the date rape story, it does not pay to be drunk and horny.
But that's the way it had to be.
They locked him up and threw away the key.
Well, I can't take pity on men of his kind,
even though he now takes it in the behind.
 
  • #20
Gokul43201
Staff Emeritus
Science Advisor
Gold Member
7,051
18
A funny songs thread without Weird Al ?


Here goes :

weird al said:
You Don't Love Me Anymore

We've been together for so very long
But now things are changing, oh I wonder what's wrong?
Seems you don't want me around
The passion is gone and the flame's died down

I guess I lost a little bit of self-esteem
That time that you made it with the whole hockey team
You used to think I was nice
Now you tell all your friends that I'm the Antichrist

Oh, why did you disconnect the brakes on my car?
That kind of thing is hard to ignore
Got a funny feeling you don't love me anymore

I knew that we were having problems when
You put those piranhas in my bathtub again
You're still the light of my life
Oh darling, I'm beggin', won't you put down that knife?

You know I, even think it's kinda cute the way
You poison my coffee just a little each day
I still remember the way that you laughed
When you pushed me down the elevator shaft

Oh, if you don't mind me asking, what's this poisonous cobra
Doing in my underwear drawer?
Sometime I get to thinking you don't love me anymore

You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill
Now my scars are all healing, but my heart never will
You set my house on fire
You pulled out my chest hairs with an old pair of pliers

Oh, you think I'm ugly and you say I'm cheap
You shaved off my eyebrows while I was asleep
You drilled a hole in my head
Then you dumped me in a drainage ditch and left me for dead

Oh, you know this really isn't like you at all
You never acted this way before
Honey, something tells me you don't love me anymore, oh no no
Got a funny feeling you don't love me anymore
 
  • #21
Math Is Hard
Staff Emeritus
Science Advisor
Gold Member
4,527
28
If you like country music, there's "I wanna kiss her but" by Tim Cavanagh.
I was ridin' on a train to Austin, Texas,
When a very lovely lady sat next to me.
When she got up to eat,
She asked if I would hold her seat.
I was more than happy to,
And now there's more I'd like to do.

I wanna kiss her but, she won't let me.
I wanna whisper sweet nothin's in her (r)ear.
I wanna hold her behind...closed doors and more.
I wanna kiss her but, she won't let me.

When she returned, she said she was an actress.
She showed me an album of pictures of her opening, which she'd been sittin' on.
She seemed as sweet as she could be,
But I could clearly see
She was the kinda girl who stole men's hearts,
Then wrecked 'em (rectum).

I wanna kiss her but, she won't let me.
I wanna whisper sweet nothin's in her (r)ear.
I wanna hold her behind...closed doors and more.
I wanna kiss her but, she won't let me.

Well, I'll never forget that train ride down to Austin.
We shared a seat, and we shared our tales (tails).
But as my heart tries to leave her behind,
Regrets are all I find,
'Cause I'd hoped I'd get that girl
In the end.

I wanna kiss her but, she won't let me.
I wanna whisper sweet nothin's in her (r)ear.
I wanna hold her behind...closed doors and more.
I wanna kiss her but,
I wanna kiss her but,
I wanna kiss her but,
She won't let me.
 
  • #22
Evo
Mentor
23,156
2,810
My dad <jokingly> would sing this song to my mom.

Put another log on the fire.
Cook me up some bacon and some beans.
And go out to the car and change the tire.
Wash my socks and sew my old blue jeans.
Fill my pipe and then go fetch my slippers.
And boil me up another pot of tea.
Then put another log on the fire, babe,
And come and tell me why you're leaving me.

Now don't I let you wash the car on Sunday?
Don't I warn you when you're gettin fat?
Ain't I a-gonna take you fishin' with me someday?
Well, a man can't love a woman more than that.
Ain't I always nice to your kid sister?
Don't I take her driving every night?
So, sit here at my feet 'cos I like you when you're sweet,
And you know it ain't feminine to fight.
 
  • #23
Evo
Mentor
23,156
2,810
Love this song.

LEADER OF THE PACK
(G. Morton - J. Barry - Ellie Greenwich)
THE SHANGRI-LAS (RED BIRD 10014, 1964)

[spoken]
Is she really going out with him?
Well, there she is. Let's ask her
Betty, is that Jimmy's ring you're wearing?
Mm-hmm
Gee, it must be great riding with him
Is he picking you up after school today?
Uh-uh
By the way, where'd you meet him?

I met him at the candy store
He turned around and smiled at me
You get the picture? (yes, we see)
That's when I fell for (the leader of the pack)

My folks were always putting him down (down, down)
They said he came from the wrong side of town
(whatcha mean when ya say that he came from the wrong side of town?)
They told me he was bad
But I knew he was sad
That's why I fell for (the leader of the pack)

One day my dad said, find someone new
I had to tell my Jimmy we're through
(whatcha mean when ya say that ya better go find somebody new?)
He stood there and asked me why
But all I could do was cry
I'm sorry I hurt you (the leader of the pack)

[spoken]
He sort of smiled and kissed me goodbye
The tears were beginning to show
As he drove away on that rainy night
I begged him to go slow
But whether he heard, I'll never know

Look out! Look out! Look out! Look out!

I felt so helpless, what could I do?
Remembering all the things we'd been through
In school they all stop and stare
I can't hide the tears, but I don't care
I'll never forget him (the leader of the pack)

The leader of the pack - now he's gone
The leader of the pack - now he's gone
The leader of the pack - now he's gone
The leader of the pack - now he's gone
 
  • #24
119
1
Do you mean funny as in they make oyu laugh, funny as in just plain odd and make no GD sense or both?
 
  • #25
Francis, it can be anything, as long as you find it absurd or humorous, or both.
 

Related Threads on Funniest song lyrics ever

  • Last Post
Replies
3
Views
2K
  • Last Post
Replies
19
Views
3K
  • Last Post
2
Replies
28
Views
9K
  • Last Post
3
Replies
51
Views
24K
  • Last Post
5
Replies
123
Views
12K
  • Last Post
127
Replies
3K
Views
457K
  • Last Post
Replies
21
Views
5K
Replies
42
Views
7K
  • Poll
  • Last Post
Replies
12
Views
7K
Replies
11
Views
2K
Top