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Funny, Great, Unusual, and Tragic Stories

  1. Jun 9, 2005 #1

    Ivan Seeking

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    For lack of a better name... how about your best stories about those precious moments in life that we could really all live without.

    There was a question in engineering about a riding mower that reminded me of a little incident worthy of mention. While living in the Portland area, since we had a heck of a lot of yard to mow, I worked out a deal with the neighbor to use his riding mower. One sunny summer's day I was mowing and extending the boundaries of the cut lawn into an area previously not maintained, and the tall grass obscured the hornet's nest in my path. Only after passing over the nest - when the black swarm began to emerge -did I happen to look back and see what was coming. :surprised And just in time! I knew right away that this was a really bad situation - life threatening beyond a doubt. After leaping off the mower I did the 100 yard dash for the house and never looked back until reaching the garage door. Only then did I realize that the kill switch under the seat had failed to stop the engine. By then the mower was half way across the field and heading for the neighbor's house. So here I am running after a renegade mower, with about a thousand really pissed off hornets flying around. :rofl:
     
    Last edited: Jun 9, 2005
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  3. Jun 9, 2005 #2
    I hate it when people end a hornet story before explaining whether ot not the hero is killed or escapes.
     
  4. Jun 9, 2005 #3

    arildno

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    Which hero?
    IvanSeeking, the hornet or the lawn-mower? :confused:
     
  5. Jun 9, 2005 #4

    DocToxyn

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    Tune in next week for the exciting conclusion to "Ivan Seeking...or Shrieking". :surprised
     
  6. Jun 9, 2005 #5

    Moonbear

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    I was kind of wondering if he made it to the mower before it hit the neighbor's house.

    With all the stories Ivan has, I start to wonder how he's managed to live so long! :bugeye: No wonder Tsu had to get into the healthcare field; someone needs to be around to keep patching him up. :biggrin:
     
  7. Jun 9, 2005 #6
    One time in my younger days (19ish) i met these three girls at a bar. They took me back to their place and... oh, wait this is a very very good story.
     
  8. Jun 9, 2005 #7

    Ivan Seeking

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    Wow, I didn't realize that I had left anyone in suspense. :biggrin:

    I caught the mower and never got stung; while running waaaaaay around the area of the nest in order to get the mower.

    Moonbear, I guess my life has been more exciting than I realized? I rarely talk about the really good stuff. :surprised
     
  9. Jun 9, 2005 #8

    Ivan Seeking

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    But come now, everyone has been a clown at least once. No more stories?
     
  10. Jun 9, 2005 #9

    Danger

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    You're doing fine on your own. Please, Grampa, tell us another.
     
  11. Jun 9, 2005 #10

    Ivan Seeking

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    Sorry Junior. By the look on your face I'd say you've had enough for one day.

    Someday I'll tell you about the time I was kidnapped and held at gunpoint for three hours. Hmmm, I guess my life has been exciting!
     
  12. Jun 9, 2005 #11
    The ship I was stationed on had just left Mardi Gras in New Orleans in 96 I believe. We were rounding the coast near Florida one night/ early morning and suddenly we were called to general quarters and told that this was not a drill. Of course people went a little bit crazy getting dressed and putting their boots on and rushing off to their stations. One guy went off a ladder so fast he went nose first into the wall on the lower floor. That was messy.

    So I went down to the magazine and the intercom says that two american planes have been shot down by Cuba. We were the only ship in the area at the time and would have to respond immediately. Those are the only details we got. You should of seen the fear on people's faces. There is something funny about sitting in a magazine with a few hundred tons of explosives and being told your under attack by Cuba.
     
  13. Jun 9, 2005 #12

    wolram

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    Thats not funny it is tradgic please god no more wars
    :smile:
     
  14. Jun 9, 2005 #13
    It's a true story actually.
     
  15. Jun 9, 2005 #14

    JamesU

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    :wink:
    _____
     
  16. Jun 10, 2005 #15
    No, really, it is true.

    We all made the assumption that the planes were military aircraft. They weren't. Cuba shot down two old propellor planes that were attempting to fly over the country and drop leaflets convincing Cubans to flee to the US. The pilots were Cuban Americans. We picked up the pilots, waited in the area a while and then continued on.

    I thought it was interesting how people assumed the worst. That's why I didn't finish the story. I was curious what people here had to say. Not a whole lot, but Oh well.
     
  17. Jun 10, 2005 #16
    Well...
    One time, in middle school... i went over to my friend's house. Her relatives were visiting. her *****y aunt and uncle. They had a little daughter, i think about 8ish at the time. a really pretty little blonde. one of those trendy little kids... wore lots of pink, and i think she liked britney spears. she went to a britney concert a little after this story took place.... she was a bit spoiled i guess. I've still never been to any concerts, unless you include when the police band came to our school and played a few songs. I used to get excited about that, because i rarely ever heard a live band play. i sometimes listened to my mum or dad play guitar, and that was always alright. i learned to play guitar in highschool though, and i'm much better than they were. i realize that now. everyone's always pretty surprised when i say i haven't been to a concert. most of my friends have promised at one time or an other that they'd take me sometime. no one has. its depressing. i was jealous that katie-rose got to go to one so young. That was her name, katie-rose. she also had a nice pretty name... lucky girl...

    At any rate, we're at my friends, and her relatives had come up in a trailor. They were doing the campground thing all summer, so they decided to swing by my friend jamie's house. i think everyone else was gone for the day, left to somewhere or something... so jamie and i had the place to ourself. we decided to hang out in the trailor, they had said we could. we probably would've anyways though. its always fun to hang some place new you know. so we were in the trailor. we started playing cards... rummy i think, we always play rummy. we learned canasta that summer i think. that was fun for a while, but you need four people to play i think... and two decks of cards... i really don't remember how to play anymore. so we played cards for a bit, and i think we listened to the new eminem cd. she loves rap... i don't mind it too bad... plus, i didn't really own cds, so it was cool to listen to one. its not like the radio... one song right after the other, and they all sort of sound the same since its the same artist. its a totally different experience. plus, this was the unsensored version. i don't think i really ever listened to anything unsensored before that.

    so after that, we went in decided to go to the back to play nintendo. probably mario-cart. though, we really liked this game Harvest Moon. i always played harvest moon. it was a sort of lame game, but i really liked it. you were this guy, on a farm. and you had to grow vegetables and fruits and flowers and you had chickens and a horse and cows. then eventually you had to get a girlfriend and make her your wife. so you could plant flowers and give them to her, and take her on dates. and once a year, there'd be a big harvest festival that was lots of fun. oh, and there was horse races too, and you had a dog and there was a dog race. at the end, you're father would come and evaluate your life. it sucked, for some reason you had to collect recipies... i never had enough to please my dad...

    So anyway, eventually we stopped playing, we just layed there on the beds. we talked for a while. about lots of things. eventually though, i got bored and i started playing around with the nintendo wires. i took one, and i pressed it against my lips and felt a small buzz. i jumped. jamie laughed. i did it again. i sat there and just kept pressing the end of the wire against my lips and felt the little buzz. sometimes, i would hold it there a little longer and feel my face tingle. jamie stared at me for a while, and then i convinced her to try it. so then, the two of us, sat there, and pressed this wire against our lips over and over again. i s'pose that eventually we got bored, and stopped.
     
  18. Jun 10, 2005 #17
    There was another time We were in the Mediteranean and heading towards Greece and suddenly we were told we had to go to the Adriatic off the coast of Albania. This was in January of 97.

    I was hanging out on the catwalk talking to one of my gunner's mate friends while he was on watch at his machine gun station. I was playing with his night vision scope and say what looked like a light in the distance. We thought it was a buoy or something. It didn't appear to be moving at first. A few minutes later we noticed the light was closer. Another look through the goggles showed us it was a little fishing boat crowded with about a dozen people hanging all over it. They were coming directly for the ship.

    He reported the situation and in about a minute there were people all over the place. The fishing boat was coming for our location because there was some rigging there that was hanging down were we lowered the boats. A few men grabbed the rigging and tried to climb up. They didn't seem to understand English and weren't listening to our attempts to communicate to them to stay on their boat. We attached some fire hoses and started shooting water at them. They got back on their boat and clung to the rigging.

    They were Albanian refugees fleeing the country for their lives. There were dozens of these little boats all trying to cross the Adriatic in the middle of winter. We sent out the boats and the LCU's to round up as many as we could. We gave them some medical care, for hypothermia mostly, a good meal, dry clothes. (I never seen so many brand new coveralls. Those were like gold to us sailors. Had to have connections to get anything new.) They got a cot and a blankey and there were dozens of them hanging out in the hangar bay for the night. The next day we dumped them off in Itally and the news stations showed them all running around in navy coveralls.

    We hung out around Albania for about a month. Then we were called again about a situation in Africa. We were told we had to evacuate the embassy of Zaire. So we went south around the coast. Crossed the equator at the 0'0'. Had our little shellback ceremony. And the next day we offloaded a bunch of marines onto shore. I don't know how long they were there, but for the next several nights I remember going up on deck at night and watching tracer fire and small explosions about 2 miles away on shore. Bye bye Zaire.

    That was the end of our cruise. We had been underway for a consecutive 61, maybe 62 days. I had almost forgotten what land felt like.
     
  19. Jun 10, 2005 #18

    SOS2008

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    I've already told the "festive holiday" story, and it didn't seem to have much impact (though is sure as heck did on me :yuck: ). There is another story, but...no...it's just not appropriate. :bugeye:
     
  20. Jun 10, 2005 #19

    Ivan Seeking

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    Too late. Once you mention it you have to tell. Its the law.
     
  21. Jun 10, 2005 #20

    Mk

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