Crush on Woman in Philosophy Class Grows

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In summary: Its like they have this "extra something" that you can't quite put your finger on. In summary, Smurf has a huge crush on a woman in his philosophy class who is four years his senior, and he thinks his attraction has only grown since realising that bit of information. He is worried about how to approach her, as he is afraid that she is already engaged. He advises others to talk to the woman more and get to know her.
  • #1
Smurf
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I have this huge crush on a woman in my philosophy class. I was only mildly interested in her before. But today during a club meeting (first meeting of the semester) she was there, and I learned she's oh... 4 years my senior. I think my attraction has only grown since realising that bit of information. She looks really young, like my age, and incredibly cute.
 
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  • #2
That *is* horrible.

Oh my God.
 
  • #3
Some older women like younger men. Four years isn't that terribly distant.
I once dated a woman six years my senior and I often get hit on by older women.
 
  • #4
Pfff, M.O.B.

Smurf, you cannot let the ladies get to you, you must resist!

Also, is Evo free to date now? :smile:
 
  • #5
Tell her that Adam from California advises that she not date you.
 
  • #6
aww, smurf, that's cute. talk to her more, get to know her and all that. let her get to know you. its too soon for much probably. but crushes are so cute!
 
  • #7
loseyourname said:
Tell her that Adam from California advises that she not date you.

And Adam from Arizona.
 
  • #8
moose said:
loseyourname said:
Tell her that Adam from California advises that she not date you.
And Adam from Arizona.
And Adam Ant too.
 
  • #9
What the hell are you on about? Who're all these adams?
 
  • #10
Gale said:
aww, smurf, that's cute. talk to her more, get to know her and all that. let her get to know you. its too soon for much probably. but crushes are so cute!
spending time and getting to know her is unavoidable as it is.
 
  • #11
TheStatutoryApe said:
Some older women like younger men. Four years isn't that terribly distant.
I once dated a woman six years my senior and I often get hit on by older women.
I know. I'm not really opposed to the idea. I think that's what makes it so attractive, that it's not incredibly common.

and no, moose. no.
 
  • #12
Smurf said:
I have this huge crush on a woman in my philosophy class. I was only mildly interested in her before. But today during a club meeting (first meeting of the semester) she was there, and I learned she's oh... 4 years my senior. I think my attraction has only grown since realising that bit of information. She looks really young, like my age, and incredibly cute.

Ummm word of advice, when you have a crush on someone don't sit on it and wait, go start a conversation.
 
  • #13
MaxS said:
Ummm word of advice, when you have a crush on someone don't sit on it and wait, go start a conversation.
Oh I don't need that advice. I still regret sitting on my last one :grumpy:

It's just... I think.. meaning, it's possible... which is not to say likely... but she might... be engaged.
 
  • #14
Smurf said:
Oh I don't need that advice. I still regret sitting on my last one :grumpy:
It's just... I think.. meaning, it's possible... which is not to say likely... but she might... be engaged.
Not married therefore it`s not a problem:uhh:

Key word = might, so she might not be engaged:approve:
 
  • #15
Smurf said:
Oh I don't need that advice. I still regret sitting on my last one :grumpy:
It's just... I think.. meaning, it's possible... which is not to say likely... but she might... be engaged.

Do you know the guy? No? Well then...

*Looks left. Looks right. Looks under the table.*

I don't see any problem!

=D (ffs I am just joking i can see the hatemail coming already)
 
  • #16
Smurf said:
Oh I don't need that advice. I still regret sitting on my last one :grumpy:
It's just... I think.. meaning, it's possible... which is not to say likely... but she might... be engaged.

I am such a hypocrite though, I always tell people that even though I do it myself.

Its weird, like for me I have no problem approaching someone I think is attractive, but sometimes every once in a while you meet someone who has that "look" or something I don't know I can't even describe it, something is just different about them, and whatever it is it makes them stand out in your mind somehow (a crush?) and those are the ones that seem somehow unapproachable.
 
  • #17
I just never saw myself as being a representative of Pengwuino's favorite phrase "breaking marriages since "... well I can't remember the second half, but it's the first half that counts.
 
  • #18
MaxS said:
Its weird, like for me I have no problem approaching someone I think is attractive, but sometimes every once in a while you meet someone who has that "look" or something I don't know I can't even describe it, something is just different about them, and whatever it is it makes them stand out in your mind somehow (a crush?) and those are the ones that seem somehow unapproachable.
Exactly! And it's always those ones that you really want to approach more than the rest.
 
  • #19
So, is the problem (1) that she's older, or (2) that you have a debilitating crush (we've all been there, it can be painful!) or (3) that she might be engaged or (4) all of the above?

Could you somehow arrange to be in some sort of study group or on a class project with her? (No, I don't know how you would do that.) I'm thinking if you spent more time with her before revealing your feelings, the crush might subside enough to be tolerable.

Why exactly do you think she's engaged? Is she wearing a ring? If it's on her right hand, it's not an engagement (at least in the US.) Is it possible to comment on the ring ('Wow, is that a real diamond?' or something...) to open the possibility of learning more about this? Or, do you think she's engaged for some other reason?

Don't sweat the age difference, there's a *chance* she would not like to be older than her boyfriend ... but in the scheme of things four years is nothing. I think we females all eventually get past that concern. Maybe she has.
 
  • #20
I've already gotten into a study group with her. I think she might be engaged because of a conversation piece I heard, I havn't looked at her hand yet.

and it's (4)
 
  • #21
Smurf said:
I've already gotten into a study group with her. I think she might be engaged because of a conversation piece I heard, I havn't looked at her hand yet.
and it's (4)
You're around that age where you need to start training yourself to look for a ring Smurf.
 
  • #22
And some of us don't wear 'em...:tongue2: We just like to keep you on your toes.

(Actually I would have loved a ring but hubby and I were very anti-token when we wed. And now I realize I would have lost it by now anyway, so I can pretend that I used to have one and just don't know where it is.)
 
  • #23
And some christian girls wear a ring because they're "married to Jesus". Ofcourse you probably want to avoid those types anyway.
 
Last edited:
  • #24
TheStatutoryApe said:
You're around that age where you need to start training yourself to look for a ring Smurf.
*sigh* I'm grown up now arn't I?
 
  • #25
TheStatutoryApe said:
And some christian girls wear a ring because they're "married to Jesus". Ofcourse you probably want to avoid those types anyway.

AMEN... har har har

Yeah seriously though a couple girls I am really good friends with used to be like that, but oh, oh they have cracked... and I called it muaaahs =)
 
  • #26
yeah, I spoke to her again today. She's even smarter than I thought she was. I'm definitely falling in love.

edit: I just realized I still havn't looked at her hand.
 
  • #27
I'm wondering whether others face this problem, but I can't seem to look at the girl I like in the eyes for some reason.
 
  • #28
TheStatutoryApe said:
And some christian girls wear a ring because they're "married to Jesus". Ofcourse you probably want to avoid those types anyway.
yes. they're called nuns!:biggrin:
 
  • #29
klusener said:
I'm wondering whether others face this problem, but I can't seem to look at the girl I like in the eyes for some reason.
How old are you? If you're 13ish I'd say that's common, if you're 42 I'd say that's a rare case.
 
  • #30
klusener said:
I'm wondering whether others face this problem, but I can't seem to look at the girl I like in the eyes for some reason.
I've had this problem. Generally it's mostly attributed to lack of confidence.
I had a particular experience though that I didn't really think this explained. I was seeing a girl who was very definitely interested in me and I knew it yet still had trouble looking into her eyes for more than very short period of time. It just felt incredibly intense... like flying too close to the sun. I got over it eventually though.
 
  • #31
It's just too depressing for me. She is very smarter than me, so it makes me feel that she could never like someone like me, maybe someone more smarter. I just feel like I am not good enough, rich enough, smart enough, but I still like her.
 
  • #32
Lol, I have found out my thread killing method, now only if it would work in the thread killer champions one.

how to kill threads notebook:

Entry #13432235

Just tell some random crap about yourself and people will leave.
 
  • #33
I thought about answering but didn't think it would be helpful, since I don't really know anything about your situation!


I would have worried less about a guy being less intelligent than me when I was on the dating scene... Money wouldn't have mattered much either. And what do you mean by good, anyway?

When I was single and teen/early twenties, decent looks were probably the most important thing to me. The thing is, I couldn't really tell you what constitutes decent looks. You just feel like someone is cute, you know?

My first serious boyfriend, none of my roommates understood why I thought he was attractive. But he sure was.

So if you think she'e trying to blow you off, or on the other hand if you think she enjoys being with you - go with that instinct and don't worry about money or grades so much.
 

1. What is a "crush"?

A crush is a strong, often romantic, attraction to someone. It is a feeling of infatuation and admiration towards another person.

2. Is it common to develop a crush on someone in a philosophy class?

Yes, it is not uncommon to develop a crush on someone in a philosophy class. Philosophy classes often involve deep and thought-provoking discussions, which can create a strong intellectual connection with others.

3. How do I know if my crush on someone in my philosophy class is genuine?

A genuine crush is characterized by sincere feelings of attraction towards the person, not just superficial or physical attraction. If you find yourself genuinely interested in getting to know the person and their thoughts, ideas, and beliefs, it is likely a genuine crush.

4. Should I act on my crush in a philosophy class?

It is important to consider the dynamics of the classroom and the potential consequences before acting on a crush in a philosophy class. If the person is your classmate, it may be best to get to know them better outside of class before making any moves. If the person is your professor, it is not appropriate to act on your crush.

5. How can I manage my growing crush on someone in my philosophy class?

It is normal to have a crush on someone, but it is important to manage these feelings in a healthy way. Focus on the intellectual and academic aspects of the class, and try to maintain a professional relationship with the person. If the crush becomes too distracting, it may be helpful to talk to a trusted friend or counselor about your feelings.

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