Get my friend to use her head?

honestrosewater

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No, I'm not married.
El Hombre Invisible said:
Some kind of video conference thing?
No, on a forum. A physics forum. Do I have spell everything out for you guys? :wink:
But you know it can't go anywhere cause you're destined never to meet?
No, because I don't want it to go anywhere.
How about not conferencing with this bloke until your infatuation ends? Out of sight, out of mind, they say. If someone had given Romeo and Juliet that advice, there would have been far less bloodshed. Woulda made a fricken boring play, though.
I don't want to avoid him. Oy, I think I'm getting over it now anyway. Nevermind. There is no problem. Everything is swell. :biggrin:
Or is the problem that you have multiple personalities? Or your friend does?
:rofl: Where did that come from?
 

honestrosewater

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Lisa! said:
Now we should guess who's this lucky man? :rolleyes:
I'm seriously not telling anyone. I want to know what matthyouaioauw's story is. What obstacles? We won't tell anyone. o:)
 
honestrosewater said:
No, on a forum. A physics forum. Do I have spell everything out for you guys? :wink:
The name will suffice.

honestrosewater said:
No, because I don't want it to go anywhere.
Ah, so you could meet but you don't want to. So we're talking someone fairly local to you, then. Where are you from? Anyone? Where is HRW from?

honestrosewater said:
I don't want to avoid him. Oy, I think I'm getting over it now anyway. Nevermind. There is no problem. Everything is swell. :biggrin:
So glad. That seemed fairly painless. Did we help?

honestrosewater said:
:rofl: Where did that come from?
You referring to yourself as your friend. Just joshing.

Have you ever met this person?

Could I just say, in the hope that you don't take this the wrong way, that, if PF is all you know this person from, then the idea of them you have is in all likelihood not the person who logs in under that username? That's not to say they are not as nice as they seem, they may be great, but nonetheless to develop a crush on someone you rarely see around on PF presumably requires some filling in of the blanks, dare I say some element of fantasizing. I mean to undermine neither this person's character or your feelings for him, but it could be you are projecting your idea of the perfect man onto the most apt user on PF, rather than falling for this person themselves. Maybe not, I'm just putting it out there since, if it were true, it may be easier to disassociate your feelings from this person.

On your other... thing.... I regard myself as a man of principals. Okay, some of those principals are morally highly dubious, but as Walter said in The Big Lebowski: "... at least it's an ethos." But ultimately, despite my many goals, ambitions, etc, my greatest and only fundemental hope is to be happy. I wouldn't let any principal, bar the obvious ones (shalt not steal, kill, trip up old ladies, etc), get in the way of that. If you avoid relationships out of a principal, however sound and based on experience the reasoning may be, you may be depriving yourself of some of the happiness you deserve.

Let me illustrate. Before I moved away from my hometown, I was in a very close, very tight group of friends I loved dearly. I was in love with the girlfriend of a very close friend of mine. My principals told me I should, as you are trying to, forget all about it. To some extent I did, but not without first and only once making clear my feelings for her, not in a way that would upset my friend, but in a way that would be made clear to her. A year later, they broke up for reasons that have nothing to do with me. I did not make any advances on her since she broke up with him and that would hurt him. A year after that, she told me she felt the same way. That's two years later. Six years later still, we are still together and happier than ever. It has been a blissful and loving relationship and took only one act on my part which I never believed would come to anything. If I had just dismissed my feelings, even on the strongest possible principals, I would not have this happiness.

Oh, and she's just told me she just got a distinction for her masters degree. \o/ Come on!!!!! Way to go, girl.
 

honestrosewater

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arildno2 said:
Whoah!!
Finally a great advice from the smurf! :smile:
Um, arildno, don't look now, but you're naked. :surprised Wait, why am I surprised? :!!)
 
Hey, what just happened?

Was there or was there not a post here a second ago from a certain Arildno2, a username similar to one I haven't seen around in a while?

Or am I going absolutely insane?!?
 
El Hombre Invisible said:
On your other... thing.... I regard myself as a man of principals.
Really?
The last person I'd want to have sex with is the head master, or PRINCIPAL, on the high school I went to.
Okay, some of those principals are morally highly dubious
You're right; he was.
 
honestrosewater said:
Um, arildno, don't look now, but you're naked. :surprised Wait, why am I surprised? :!!)
Phew! Not just me, then. Unless....

.... unless I am just another one of your personalities! :surprised
 
El Hombre Invisible said:
Hey, what just happened?

Was there or was there not a post here a second ago from a certain Arildno2, a username similar to one I haven't seen around in a while?

Or am I going absolutely insane?!?
I can't answer your last question, but as for the post, it morphed into nothingness through an inexplicable deletion process.
 
arildno2 said:
Really?
The last person I'd want to have sex with is the head master, or PRINCIPAL, on the high school I went to.

You're right; he was.
Hey bro! Don't look now, but you have a 2 on your name. Forget your password? Or did you revise your username to reflect your "penile plurality"?
 
El Hombre Invisible said:
Forget your password?
Or did you revise your username to reflect your "penile plurality"?
Good heavens!
To possess more than one penis?
that's perverse..
 
arildno2 said:
Good heavens!
To possess more than one penis?
that's perverse..
Hence possible.

WHY ARE YOU A TWO?!?
 
El Hombre Invisible said:
Hence possible.

WHY ARE YOU A TWO?!?
I FORGOT MY PASSWORD!
 

honestrosewater

Gold Member
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Yes, he lost his password and penes.

El Hombre Invisible,
Later when I can think straight, I'll respond. Thanks. :smile:
 
Why does El Hombre call himself Invisible, by the way?
 
honestrosewater said:
Later when I can think straight, I'll respond. Thanks. :smile:
Is that possible?

BTW, I've only lost redundant items in my life; the invisible guy can have them if he can find them. :smile:
 
arildno2 said:
I FORGOT MY PASSWORD!
All right, don't have a paddy. When you disappear and reappear under a new username then have the first post I see deleted I get worried that you've been riling up the admins.

arildno2 said:
Why does El Hombre call himself Invisible, by the way?
Is that a dig at my overnumerous posts or a real question about my etymology? I had a Burroughs biography on my desk when I registered. Couldn't think of anything better at the time. Sorry, it's not a very interesting reason. I should start telling people it was a scientific experiment gone wrong. I was trying to append a second pe-
 

matthyaouw

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honestrosewater said:
I'm seriously not telling anyone. I want to know what matthyouaioauw's story is. What obstacles? We won't tell anyone. o:)
If you can be mysterious, so can I :tongue:
(It's not that interesting, really.)
 

loseyourname

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honestrosewater said:
Thanks, you guys are great. :biggrin:
loseyourname, you made me tear up a little. (I actually started to describe the guy, and he sounded a lot like you. It’s not you though – I’d have no problem telling you.)
I can think of only one person near our age (though he is actually a few years younger than you and I) that lives near you, and he does not seem to post much these days.

I won't make any explicit guesses, though. So you'd actually tell me, huh? You feel that comfortable even though we've never once had any personal conversation?

If you replace ‘poetry’ with romantic ‘relationships’, this 'poem' can help sum up my current position (without reading too much into it).
I’ve been put off by some of the fakery, but I’m still interested. I’m just not ready for the real toads yet. For now, I want to work and enjoy my picnics insect-free. (Erm – maybe that didn’t explain anything – or maybe the fact that that’s the only way I can explain it explains everything.)
The fact that you can still only think of the insects as something that might interfere with the picnic, rather than add to it, sums up everything perfectly.

Try this:

(Okay, anyway, I'm working on a poem now for you. I'm not satisified as of yet, so you'll have to wait for me to post it.)

Anyway, I get the impression (in fact, I am damn near completely certain) that you never got the opportunity to indulge your schoolgirl flights of fancy. They aren't going to go away, and I don't agree that putting them off indefinitely is a better strategy than simply dealing with them now. Heck, allow yourself to be completely delusional for twenty minutes every day. Spend that time imagining yourself in Italy with this guy, fifteen years from now, exploring Verona and acting out Romeo and Juliet. I do that stuff all the time and there's no harm in it.

I think that what you need to learn is the proper boundary between fantasy and reality. The only way to get a good grasp of what is and is not feasible (obvious examples like Shakespeare in Verona set aside for the moment) is trial and error, I'm sorry to say. You really don't have any choice but to put yourself out on a limb every now and then. Herein lies the key difference between you and I: I believe anything is possible and I'm even delusional enough to believe that I can bring these possibilities to fruition*; you, on the other hand, seem to think that nothing is possible.

*Actually, I think I should be excused here, as I actually have brought situations analagous to the reciting of Romeo and Juliet in Verona to fruition. It's just that making these fantasies a reality for any extended period of time is exceedingly difficult, but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop trying.
 

honestrosewater

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Eh, I wasn't thinking clearly when I wrote that first post. To clarify it and some other things that have come up:
  • I do not think I'm in love with this guy, nor do I think I have any reason to be in love with him.
  • Perhaps instead of crush, I should've said infatuation: 'a foolish, unreasoning, or extravagant passion or attraction.'
  • He doesn't live in my area.
  • I've never met him in person.
  • I didn't say he wasn't around much (I'm not confirming or denying this though). I said, "She gets happy when he's around, even though he's not really even around her." This wasn't a rational kind of happiness but, you know, those involuntary reactions that you have. I had this reaction even when I just happened to see that he was online (he's not even around me), which I think is silly. That was part of the problem.
  • I'm not against those kinds of reactions or emotions per se; They were just unwanted and unjustified in this case.
  • I have a handle on the situation now, and you guys did help. Thank you.

El Hombre Invisible said:
Could I just say, in the hope that you don't take this the wrong way, that, if PF is all you know this person from, then the idea of them you have is in all likelihood not the person who logs in under that username? That's not to say they are not as nice as they seem, they may be great, but nonetheless to develop a crush on someone you rarely see around on PF presumably requires some filling in of the blanks, dare I say some element of fantasizing. I mean to undermine neither this person's character or your feelings for him, but it could be you are projecting your idea of the perfect man onto the most apt user on PF, rather than falling for this person themselves. Maybe not, I'm just putting it out there since, if it were true, it may be easier to disassociate your feelings from this person.
Yes, I try to be aware of the filling in the blanks thing, and if I wasn't being vigilant enough before, I am now.
Why do you think I was likely deceived? Was it something I said? Or that I only 'know' him online? I mean, peoples' ability to deceive and be deceived certainly isn't confined to written communication. Heck, for a recent and, yes, extreme example, consider Dennis Rader, a.k.a. BTK. I think I manage to exercise a healthy degree of skepticism. And language is the best means that I know of to learn about many of the things that matter most to me (thoughts, opinions, beliefs, etc.).
Let me illustrate. Before I moved away from my hometown, I was in a very close, very tight group of friends I loved dearly. I was in love with the girlfriend of a very close friend of mine. My principals told me I should, as you are trying to, forget all about it. To some extent I did, but not without first and only once making clear my feelings for her, not in a way that would upset my friend, but in a way that would be made clear to her. A year later, they broke up for reasons that have nothing to do with me. I did not make any advances on her since she broke up with him and that would hurt him. A year after that, she told me she felt the same way. That's two years later. Six years later still, we are still together and happier than ever. It has been a blissful and loving relationship and took only one act on my part which I never believed would come to anything. If I had just dismissed my feelings, even on the strongest possible principals, I would not have this happiness.

Oh, and she's just told me she just got a distinction for her masters degree. \o/ Come on!!!!! Way to go, girl.
I'm very happy for you. Congrats to both of you. :smile:
 
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honestrosewater

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matthyaouw said:
If you can be mysterious, so can I :tongue:
(It's not that interesting, really.)
I'm really not trying to be mysterious - I just don't want to embarrass the poor guy. But grrr... fair enough; consider it dropped.

___
P.S. loseyouname, I didn't forget you; I just have to go now. Who was your guess? dduardo?
 
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matthyaouw

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honestrosewater said:
I'm really not trying to be mysterious - I just don't want to embarrass the poor guy. But grrr... fair enough; consider it dropped.
Thanks :smile:
I'm not normally so secretive, but posting things you'd rather some people didn't know on a busy public forum isn't nessecarily wise.
 

Gokul43201

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I haven't read past the first page. If I'd responded sooner, it would have been almost exactly like lyn's post (#9).
 

loseyourname

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honestrosewater said:
P.S. loseyouname, I didn't forget you; I just have to go now. Who was your guess? dduardo?
DissidentDan, but that is only because he lives in Florida and hasn't been around much lately. I don't really see why I would remind you of him, though, and he is younger, so it wasn't a very strong guess. Now that you say the guy doesn't live around you, I pretty much know it isn't him.
 

arildno

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It's Clausius2, I'm sure of it.
 

loseyourname

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honestrosewater said:
  • I do not think I'm in love with this guy, nor do I think I have any reason to be in love with him.
  • Perhaps instead of crush, I should've said infatuation: 'a foolish, unreasoning, or extravagant passion or attraction.'
  • He doesn't live in my area.
  • I've never met him in person.
  • I didn't say he wasn't around much (I'm not confirming or denying this though). I said, "She gets happy when he's around, even though he's not really even around her." This wasn't a rational kind of happiness but, you know, those involuntary reactions that you have. I had this reaction even when I just happened to see that he was online (he's not even around me), which I think is silly. That was part of the problem.
  • I'm not against those kinds of reactions or emotions per se; They were just unwanted and unjustified in this case.
  • I have a handle on the situation now, and you guys did help. Thank you.
Ha ha, that's all? Heck, I get happy when you're online, or hypnagogue, or Sleeth, just because I know there will likely be some good, well thought-out posts following shortly. If you mean that you IM this guy, though, I usually have the opposite response, because then I have to be vigilant with my away message to ensure that people don't bother me while I'm busy with something else (I'm not much of a multitasker).
 

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