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Get the point across nicely?

  1. Jul 21, 2005 #1

    honestrosewater

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    If you're romantically interested in someone, what can they say to make you completely abandon your pursuit of them but not make future interactions with them awkward? Yes, it's me- one of my brother's friends has taken a liking to me, and nothing I've said seems to have worked. :frown:
     
  2. jcsd
  3. Jul 21, 2005 #2
    Tell him you view him like a little brother, and pinch his cheek?
     
  4. Jul 21, 2005 #3

    wolram

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    Invite him round for dinner, and serve him doughnuts and coke.
     
  5. Jul 21, 2005 #4
    I disagree with this one.

    Tell the truth which is almost never told. "You're cool but I don't have those
    kinds of feeling for you."
     
  6. Jul 21, 2005 #5

    dduardo

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    You've got rabies?
     
  7. Jul 21, 2005 #6
    Tell him that you're not interested in men. That way, he'll think it's out of his control and not feel too bad.

    You could also say that you're just not interested in a relationship right now. And if you are, you could say that you're seeing someone else (if you haven't already admitted to being single).

    It'll probably be difficult to eliminate any feelings of akwardness, since no matter what you say, it'll still be a rejection. Perhaps in light of that you should just do as Antiphon said and be honest. He might appreciate that too.
     
  8. Jul 21, 2005 #7
    I'm thinking if you chew up a marshmellow real good and go with the rabies idea, it might work.
     
  9. Jul 21, 2005 #8
    This is out of your hands. The greater or lesser awkwardness of future interactions is contingent on how well the person can take the information that you're not interested.

    The best you can do is gear your "talk" toward that part of him you feel could handle it the best. What I mean is talk to his adult side, from your adult side. If you can do that, then future interactions should be the least awkward.
     
  10. Jul 21, 2005 #9

    Tom Mattson

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    If I'm interested in a woman and she tells me that she's either interested in someone else, or still has a thing for an old flame, I abort the mission immediately. Been there too many times to want to do it again.

    So just tell the guy that you're totally in love with this guy named Tom who you know from online, and you're off the hook.... :!!)
     
  11. Jul 21, 2005 #10

    Math Is Hard

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    I use that one constantly. :biggrin:
     
  12. Jul 21, 2005 #11
    Tom? Personally, I think it would be more effective if she used a name like, say, Jelfish. :wink:
     
  13. Jul 21, 2005 #12

    Tom Mattson

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    Oh no, another suitor from Troy, NY! :grumpy:

    All I can say is that you had better not be one of my students! :biggrin:
     
  14. Jul 21, 2005 #13

    honestrosewater

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    I'm not interested in having a relationship with anyone- even if my absolute dream man came along, it would just have to wait. Honestly. I've already said this. I even guessed at how long the wait would be- 8 years. Maybe I need to change my tone a bit. What means more to you guys- words or tone?
     
  15. Jul 21, 2005 #14
    I don't know about 'student,' but we may have had some of the same professors.
     
  16. Jul 21, 2005 #15

    Lisa!

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    I know wht you mean! :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:
     
  17. Jul 21, 2005 #16

    Tom Mattson

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    Have you told him the "f-word" yet? "Let's just be fffffffffriends?" That takes the wind out of most guys' sails.

    Heh. What'd you do, solve an equation to get that figure? I can see it now, "Let's see....libido times sense of romance squared, minus inability to commit and divide by career goals.....carry the one....A-HA! 8 years!" :biggrin:

    Seriously, an 8 year forecast for your love life is bound to be less reliable than an 8 year forecast for the weather. But you'll find that out for yourself.

    Pictures. We're not that smart.
     
  18. Jul 21, 2005 #17

    honestrosewater

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    I've used the 'other person' excuse before, it's quick and easy but doesn't phase some people. And while I was madly in love with the men of Troy, I've gotten over it. And he's my brother's friend so will find out if I lie.
     
  19. Jul 21, 2005 #18

    Lisa!

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    You don't need to tell him lies.what would he do if you were in love with you and he didn't love you?
     
  20. Jul 21, 2005 #19
    Thing is, there's no "you guys." Every guy is different and you have to figure out what works on this one.
     
  21. Jul 21, 2005 #20
    It depends the the guy? For me it depends on who is saying it. For example, it a girl tries to give me harsh tone to emphasize something I usually reply with a much deeper tone and try to assert a certain amount of control over the conversation. I don't even mean to do it, it's like an involuntary reaction to stimuli, it just happens.

    On the other hand, if a guy tries to bring a harsh tone I usually raise an eyebrow and look at him like, "what do you think you are trying to do?"

    I think your best bet is to be very mature and serious. You know, like corporate CEO type of attitude. When you're all business, professional and stone faced, people tend to listen. Use an emotionless monotone voice that is slightly lower than normal.

    I think that will fix the situation. Just make sure you have your heart in what you're saying and be serious. You will get the point across.

    Regards
     
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