Girlfriend asks going out while I'm busy with my mind

[blue_leaf77]

Well well, I just realized that this page has a wonderful forum for sharing out member's ideas as well as doubts about love. Anyway I really appreciate whoever there proposed to make this forum.

Just a doubt that I haven't actually experienced yet but I am sure it will cause me some trouble when I will have to deal with it. Up to now I have discovered one nature of me: whenever there is a physical problem (not necessarily problem given in lectures, it can be anything including statements or arguments in textbooks) that I found myself hard to comprehend, it will keep bothering me or rather haunting me until I could find the answer. It's so irritating that I would usually keep pondering about it while eating, taking a bath, walking outside, and others daily activities. In such situations I would also usually feel really hesitated to hang out with friends or to come to a friend's invitation. And this is the point where I came to imagine, what if I had girlfriend and she asks me to go out while such situation described above occurred. I have never experienced that though, but I can already imagine that even my girlfriend won't be able to divert most of my attention on this occurring physics problem.

I would like to know does the same situation where there is unsolved problem that keeps haunting your mind until solved happen frequently (it actually frequently happens to me) to anyone of you? And if this were to happen to me while I have got girlfriend asking me out, any suggestion?

Sorry if this is a silly question.

 

[Orodruin]

I once woke up in the middle of the night after dreaming up the solution to a math problem I was working on, wrote everything down in a half-drowsy state, woke up the next morning and it needed only minor corrections. So yes, I bet there are several people here that have problems taking their minds off problems they find interesting.

Regarding the girl, I would go for the girl if it is someone you are genuinely interested in. On the other hand, if she is, she should hopefully be more interesting to you than a physics problem - or maybe you can find someone who accepts your little quirks and even finds them attractive (no, my wife still does not like it when I get caught up in something, but I do think she loves me anyway).

Here is an XKCD describing the "dropping everything for a problem" situation:

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/nerd_sniping.png

 

[zoobyshoe]

I absolutely have the same problem. When I'm absorbed in a certain kind of puzzle I have no patience for other people. And other people are put off by this, yes indeed.

 

[blue_leaf77]

That's a bit reassuring, seems like there are more people than I thought out there who can be deeply absorbed in a problem in their field.

Regarding the girl, I would go for the girl if it is someone you are genuinely interested in.

I will feel bad for her if I were to turn her down too. It's just that I won't probably be able to enjoy the date to the fullest, it's like in those ads where unhappy people wear smiling expression masks, lol.
Well I just hope there will come girl who will be able to really relaxate my strained mind.

 

[Borg]

I guarantee that you won't be the first person to hear a woman say "blah, blah, blah, ... are you even listening to me?".

 

[dipole]

If you're worried about being unmotivated to go out with a girl, before you even know any girls who want to go out with you, then there's a good chance you're not going to have ever worry about this issue.

 

[thankz]

on that resistance problem I estimate .14 ohms am I right?

sorry if I'm off topic, I just couldn't resist, I don't know topology yet and I still need to do discrete math but I'm going to remember this problem ;)

 

[Orodruin]

on that resistance problem I estimate .14 ohms am I right?

Nope, a hint is that the resistance between two adjacent nodes is 0.5 ohm. I suggest not trying to go further than that until you can derive that result.

 

[thankz]

I'm going to take your word for it, for now. I must be looking at it too simply as each node has a resistance of .25 ohms (4 resistors in a star) then I'm trying to figure the resistance for the mesh but seeing as it is infinite it gets exponentially smaller. maybe that is the wrong word but I'm still new to this

 

[Orodruin]

The nodes in themselves do not have resistances. But this is getting off-topic. I suggest thinking about it and returning to the technical forums if you have questions. Suffice to say, the problem is far from trivial and naturally the resistance increases as the nodes go further away from each other.

 

[thankz]

I will keep this filed in my memory banks to solve later, sorry for getting off topic thanks for your help.

 

[Lisa!]

And this is the point where I came to imagine, what if I had girlfriend and she asks me to go out while such situation described above occurred. I have never experienced that though, but I can already imagine that even my girlfriend won't be able to divert most of my attention on this occurring physics problem.

I think that's a common problem and you don't need to worry about it but if you tend to worry too much about things that might cause problems in the future, you might need to seek professional help!

 

[blue_leaf77]

That's what I wanted to know, if it's common problem or not. By professional help, I can interpret that as asking for someone more capable than me to solve the haunting physical problem.

 

[Ryan_m_b]

I don't think it's much of a problem and on this forum you'll probably find a lot of people like it. I often stare off into the distance intensely thinking about something which my girlfriend has described as endearing (luckily she also does this). The important thing when it comes to a relationship though is to know when you're being selfish. It's all well and good to pat yourself on the back for being an intellectual but if you are ignoring your partner in favour of your own thoughts then don't be surprised if they feel you aren't committed to the relationship. This is obviously a sliding scale and it would be entirely unreasonable if a partner demanded 100% of your attention, but just be aware of how much time you're spending in your own head versus your relationship.

 

[Greg Bernhardt]

And this is the point where I came to imagine, what if I had girlfriend and she asks me to go out while such situation described above occurred. I have never experienced that though, but I can already imagine that even my girlfriend won't be able to divert most of my attention on this occurring physics problem.

Not sure how old you are, but this type of obsessed thinking struck me in my early 20s. At a certain point you realize the consequences of such selfishness. A balanced life is important. That means, letting go of that obsession for a few hours as you spend time with a friend, family or girlfriend. Neglect these areas in your life and you'll have more problems than a curious puzzle to solve. The puzzle will still be there waiting when you return. The other areas in your life that you neglect won't be.

btw, this is very similar to people who can't let go of their work when they get home.

 

[blue_leaf77]

Those are very wise and logical advice you guys have given there.

this type of obsessed thinking struck me in my early 20s

That's almost exactly where I am now and I guess those worries of mine is just manifestation of dynamic spirit from typical young physicist-aiming student like me. I do hope so though, I hope those thoughts will slowly cease to exist as I approach my 30s.

 

[Greg Bernhardt]

That's almost exactly where I am now and I guess those worries of mine is just manifestation of dynamic spirit from typical young physicist-aiming student like me. I do hope so though, I hope those thoughts will slowly cease to exist as I approach my 30s.

They won't and you don't want them to. They are part of your personality and in many ways important. As you get older you'll learn how to control them so they don't take over your life. I usually get obsessive in problem solving when I get cabin fever. Once I am out of the house and active my mind is elsewhere. Do you exercise or have other social hobbies?

 

[blue_leaf77]

That's also a bit of problem I guess, I used to enjoy playing soccer but not anymore now. It's not like I don't want to when a lot of chances came when my mates were having soccer play, I guess it's because, again, lecture tasks and laboratory work have held me back from leaving my room too often or too long. To relieve my stress I bought a video game console, that's my only entertainment for now.

 

[Pythagorean]

My wife has essentially accepted that sometimes I just zone out in thought. It's usually either research or music.

I think getting out and being social is probably better for your mental health, which is inevitably better for your grades. As long as you prioritize and have a bit of a routine, it's not going to take any time from your studying (you can't study effectively 18 hrs a day anyway; even by the end of 4 hours, your mind gets a little frazzled). But I do understand that every once in a while, a semester comes along that makes you feel so anxious all the time, that it's hard to relax and enjoy yourself. For me it was 3rd and 4th year as an undergrad.

 

[DaveC426913]

I will feel bad for her if I were to turn her down too. It's just that I won't probably be able to enjoy the date to the fullest...

I think you are seriously underestimating just how fascinating a girl that likes you will be to you.
I expect you will happily set aside your problem-solving habit to bask in her attentions.

 

[blue_leaf77]

I think you are seriously underestimating just how fascinating a girl that likes you will be to you.

I have once experienced what you described there, more or less, when I was still with my ex. It's just that she never really asked me to hang out while I was pondering with a problem, we rarely met to begin with so I have never known how it felt when the dilemma strike me down.