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Grammar

  1. Jul 22, 2004 #1

    Evo

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    The internet is destroying grammar. We all tend to "change" the rules a bit in order to make a point or try to clarify meaning. I am a notorious abuser. :redface:

    Lately, I've seen so many atrocious grammatical errors in some of the posts at PF that were unintentional that I felt it was time to put our members to the test. :wink:

    Below are links to some fun tests on "Notorious Confusables". There are many other tests available on this site. If you get a run time error when you hit the "start this test" button, close the error box and just hit the "next question" button, the first question will be displayed for you to answer.

    http://webster.commnet.edu/grammar/quizzes/notorious3.htm

    http://webster.commnet.edu/grammar/quizzes/notorious5.htm

    Below is a list of humorous grammar rules that all of the closet grammar nerds out there (you know who you are) will appreciate. :approve: The rest of you just won't get it. :confused: :biggrin:

    HUMOROUS GRAMMAR RULES

    1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.

    2. Never use a preposition to end a sentence with. Winston Churchill, corrected on this error once, responded to the young man who corrected him by saying "Young man, that is the kind of impudence up with which I will not put!

    3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.

    4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

    5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)

    6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.

    7. Be more or less specific.

    8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.

    9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies endlessly over and over again

    10. No sentence fragments.

    11. Contractions aren't always necessary and shouldn't be used to excess so don’t.

    12. Foreign words and phrases are not always apropos.

    13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous and can be excessive

    14. All generalizations are bad.

    15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

    16. Don't use no double negatives.

    17. Avoid excessive use of ampersands & abbrevs., etc.

    18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

    19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake (Unless they are as good as gold).

    http://www.creativeteachingsite.com/humorgrammar.htm
     
  2. jcsd
  3. Jul 22, 2004 #2

    Monique

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    Hey! But I spelled acquaintance correct today (after figuring acquentance didn't look right) and always double check I don't mix your and you're.. so I think that completely makes up for the above :biggrin:
     
  4. Jul 22, 2004 #3

    Math Is Hard

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    Oooh, I liked those quizzes, Evo. This is getting me warmed up for the composition class I start next month. I have forgotten all my rules of grammar, since I haven't taken a writing class in 20 years. I'm about to go out and pick up a copy of Elements of Style. I don't know where my old copy went.

    I have to state my pet peeve here since this is the grammar thread. I hate it when people write "loose" instead of "lose" as in "I was sorry to loose my friend". I have seen incredibly educated people do this and it always makes me cringe. :grumpy:
     
  5. Jul 22, 2004 #4

    Monique

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    Ah and don't worry, after reading it for the third time I realize there is another layer of complexity in the quote :wink:
     
  6. Jul 22, 2004 #5

    chroot

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    Evo,

    Your quizzes aren't about grammar -- they're just about vocabulary. :confused:

    - Warren
     
  7. Jul 22, 2004 #6

    Evo

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    Your spelling and grammar (English) are much better than many whose first language is English. :approve:

    I know what you mean.

    Those tests have really refreshed my memory. I will admit I did not get a perfect score on either of the two tests I linked to, which is why I chose them. :devil:

    I've always loved grammar. I had a really funny grammar teacher when I was in the 5th grade. I will never forget that you do not end a sentance with a preposition because of her story of two men and some ewes (which they pronounced eewees). :tongue2:
     
  8. Jul 22, 2004 #7
    wha r u talkin bout!!1 it jus a fasta way o typin, im bizy an go things to do!!!!1one i cant aford to tak 15 mo secs to typ a legibal post!!!11 lol!
     
  9. Jul 22, 2004 #8

    Evo

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    Yes, the notorious confusables are vocabulary, the grammar part is the lists below. I should have clarified and said English/grammar, which I guess now is Language Arts in high school? For those members chroot that are so picky. :devil: :biggrin:

    The actual grammar tests were too easy.
     
  10. Jul 22, 2004 #9

    BobG

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    No way! Parentheses (like salt) can never be overused!
     
  11. Jul 22, 2004 #10

    chroot

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    I'm one of those horribly picky bastards that tends to unconsciously fault people for even obscure misspellings or grammar mistakes. You might find it hard to believe that I have never used a spell-checker in my entire life, and don't plan on ever using one. I also rarely proofread anything I write. I'm just meticulous enough to rarely let mistakes go as I type.

    Imagine my horror when I realized about six months ago that I had been spelling 'guarantee' wrong my entire life! It still doesn't look right to me.

    - Warren
     
  12. Jul 22, 2004 #11

    Evo

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    Wow. I was an excellent speller when I was young, but I have noticed lately that I forget how to spell some common words and have to check. :frown:

    I have always had to proofread carefully because as a teacher once pointed out, I would leave out parts of sentences and even parts of paragraphs when I would write a paper. What killed her was the fact that when she would ask me to read the paper to her, my mind filled in all the blanks. She thought that by having me read the paper I would notice the gaps in thought. Nope.
     
    Last edited: Jul 22, 2004
  13. Jul 22, 2004 #12
    Although meant tongue-in-cheek, most good writers break these rules all the time.

    But I would like to see this rule overturned in the future. But I doubt they will.

    Few hold to this rule anymore. Frankly, the rule is stupid and I break it all the time. I will continue to merrily break it in the future.

    I think they're wrong.

    Wow! Another stupid rule.

    By the way, the rules they express use far too many weasel-words. Physician heal thyself. (A cliche.)
     
  14. Jul 22, 2004 #13
    I realize we are having fun with misspellings, but your butchering of the word "Hemi" hurts my eyes.
     
  15. Jul 22, 2004 #14

    Math Is Hard

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    He wasn't trying to spell Hemi. He was trying to spell Hemmi.
     
  16. Jul 22, 2004 #15

    Tom Mattson

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    Actually, that would be "For those members who are so picky". :tongue:
     
  17. Jul 22, 2004 #16

    Nereid

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    It's easy to predict what will happen to this thread, it'll collapse under the weight of its posters' opinions. :eek:

    Now, how many people think this sentence should read:
    Its easy to predict what will happen to this thread, it'll collapse under the weight of it's poster's opinions. :confused:

    The panda.
     
  18. Jul 22, 2004 #17

    plover

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    This always bothers me when I see it too, but isn't it a regional form of some sort?

    Re: prepositions -
    1. I've seen that Churchill quote used to support both sides of the argument (i.e. some interpret it as sarcastic rather than scornful). I'm not sure which reading is supported by the original context.
    2. There's a perfectly lovely sentence (quite clear in meaning) in one of Patrick O'Brian's Aubrey/Maturin novels which ends in (IIRC) seven prepositions in a row... (I can't remember which book though, and I'm not having any luck getting Amazon to pull it up either.)

    Re: infinitives -
    '"That is not a split infinitve; that is a phrasal infix."'

    Also - many neuroses (and other (psychological) problems) could be (painlessly) prevented by a more unfettered use of—among other things—parentheses (not to mention em-dashes).
     
    Last edited: Jul 22, 2004
  19. Jul 22, 2004 #18

    Evo

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    Very clever Nereid. :approve:
     
  20. Jul 22, 2004 #19

    Evo

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    Yes, you're not supposed to use "that" when refering to a person. :redface: I know the rules, I just forget them in my old age. :cry:

    Edit - apparently "that" can be used when the referrence to the person is generic, so although the sentence "for those members who are so picky" would be the preferable choice, saying "for those members that are so picky" is also correct.

    If I said "for those members, like Tom, who are so picky" who is the only correct answer.

    For example:

    3. Students _____ wait until the last minute and cram for exams frequently fail.
    answer:
    either "who" or "that" would work here

    Well done. Either "that" or "who" can refer to people in a generic sense, but "which" would never work here. The Guide contains a quiz devoted to who/that/which choices.

    http://webster.commnet.edu/cgi-shl/challenge2.pl/challenge_quiz.htm?cgi_quiz_form=1
     
    Last edited: Jul 22, 2004
  21. Jul 22, 2004 #20

    Gokul43201

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    I'd prefer 'It's easy to predict what will happen to this thread; it'll collapse under the weight of its posters' opinions.'

    Safer yet, is 'It's easy to predict what will happen to this thread. It'll collapse under the weight of its posters' opinions.'

    Or am I just being @n@l ?
     
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