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Greeting a Tinder date (and other related issues)

  1. Feb 7, 2015 #1


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    Note: For those who don't know, Tinder is a mobile dating app, mostly used for casual hook-ups. Simply put, you swipe someone right if you find that person attractive, and left if you don't, based on pretty much a single photo. If you both swipe right mutually, then you get matched with that person and can start talking. It's extremely superficial.

    I started using Tinder a couple of weeks ago, and have met two women who I've spent around a week talking to -- one is 18, the other is 23 (for reference, I'm 20). I'm pretty sure they're legitimate (added them on Facebook), and I've arranged to meet them: one on Valentine's day, the other about a week later. I am of course meeting them in a public place first, just to rule out that possibility that I've been talking to someone bogus -- I have never met someone from online before.

    A basic question: which greeting is most appropriate under the circumstances? A simple 'hi!', a hug, or a kiss on both cheeks?

    As for the location, I've gone for a moderately-priced restaurant (i.e. I don't expect to have to pay more than £8 per head). The issue is, having been there before, it's rather noisy during lunch hours, so I have to lean in a lot to hear the other person (think Nando's on a Mother's Day-type occasion). Not only that, but the restaurant is notoriously busy, and the tables are pushed together such that an isolated table for two is impossible (4 at a minimum). Question: How much of a hindrance are these issues going to be? The fact that I'm meeting one on Valentine's Day (and, of course, having mutually "swiped right") obviously implies that I'd like to potentially make something happen with these women -- so have I shot myself in the foot, as a result?
  2. jcsd
  3. Feb 7, 2015 #2
    Honestly I think there are some problems here. First meeting on v-day is pressure and can be potentially awkward if you aren't on the same page. I would greet with a short casual friend style hug. The emphasis on short and casual. Make sure to smile. I would find a different place. Meeting someone for the first time in a busy, impersonal, noisy place is just asking for frustration and complications. Why make it so hard on yourself? First dates are tough enough. Why not set up yourself for success instead of failure?
  4. Feb 14, 2015 #3


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    Figured I should probably update this thread.

    I had my first date with the 23-year-old girl last night -- we did go for pizza, and it was lovely. The volume wasn't too bad, although we sat next to a large group of people who were laughing really loudly -- but we made it into a joke and had some fun with it. We didn't kiss but there was definitely a lot of chemistry there, which helped settle me quite a bit. She wants to meet with me again for coffee in a few days' time, and I think she's genuinely interested in me.

    I've decided not to date the other girl -- at the risk of putting all my eggs in one basket.
  5. Feb 19, 2015 #4


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    Glad to hear your date went well :) I used tinder for a large part of last year but didn't go on many tinder dates (I personally don't like seeing multiple people at once so would see one for several weeks at a time). When I did this was a difficult thing to gauge, generally I just relied on how they reacted as we met. It was a bit of a split second decision but a casual hug is good.
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