I have been thinking about this situation I am currently in for awhile now and have talked to a few close friends about the situation I am in now... I am sure a few of you might have been in the same position as I am awhile ago or now... Here we go... A little over half a year ago I had met a young lady... We met through a friend in school... When I first met this young lady I could kind of tell she was into me... For example, when I got up to leave the "study room" she asked me where I am going and when I will be back, asked if I wanted to go to lunch, asked me when I will txt here (this was after I got her number), the way she looked at me gave me the vibe she was interested, etc... As soon as you ladies and gents here about this next fact about her you will say "red flag!" So she was separated from her fiance... Her fiance suffers depression and has a hard time showing affection... The intimacy between them was lacking big time... She didn't feel wanted anymore so she asked him if he could go see a counselor, instead of accepting her wishes he refused to and that is when they put the wedding on hold and were separated because she didn't want to be with someone who wasn't going to love her right... Her and I met up for coffee. She was expressing her emotions with me about the situation she was in with her ex fiance. After her found out she liked me I had to find out if she was married or had a bf (this was before she told me her situation. I am sorry, telling the story completely backwards.) Before she told me about her situation I had to make sure she didn't have a boyfriend and I found out she was engaged or thought she was engaged... But when we met up for coffee she told me they were separated... I wasn't going to ask, instead wait until she told me... And she told me very quickly... We got to know each other as friends... She was more into me than I was into her because I wasn't wanting a relationship because I am in the middle of earning a degree and she has a son... The ex fiance isn't the original father... We hung out over the weekends, found out we have a lot in common and share the same interest... I couldn't face the facts of raising a child... I even told her straight up I can't raise her son, not interested at all... She really wanted me to raise him as well as accept her... I am not an easy person to persuade... She was an attractive women on the outside, but isn't the only aspect I would like a woman. I introduced her to my family and friends, everyone loved her... Then I started to find out I started to have feelings for her... It takes me a very long time to open up. (Been hurt too many times). I was doing a lot of pushing her away and then pulling her back because there were some things I really enjoyed about her and somethings I didn't really care for... So when the ex fiance found out about me he sent me some very unfriendly txt msg, threatened me a few times, and was acting foolishly around her and her son. The ex fiance got so angry he told "his son" that his mother was a dumb B****... Why would you tell your "son" his mother is that??? Why would you get angry??? You had your opportunity to change or get some serious help... So one day she (the girl I am interested in), found out her ex fiance was seeing another woman. As soon as she found out she realized the feelings for him were still there... She was so torn at this point.... It went back and forth between me and him. She made a decision to leave him and go her own way... But of course she was extremely devastated... I was able to hold onto her for awhile until the ex fiance was able to use this other woman to make his ex fiance want him back... The day she told me it was over between her and I she went to the ER... A few days later she let me know she stilled loved me... I told her it's over... I said I am happy your fiance wants to get counseling now and is willing to make some changes.. It's time for me to go my own way... (I was pretty hurt and emotionally drained because I dropped a class I was currently taking. I had to go back to work). She didn't want me to go, but I knew it was going to be the best for her and I both... A few weeks later she tries to contact me, then a month tries to contact me again... We talk again... Now she is married... She still loves me... This is the situation I currently am in now... She got married for more religion reasons something I understand... Her husband went back to his old ways after counseling. He was doing well for the first month or two while in counseling, but reverted back to his old ways. She was very open with me about her choices. She has been honest with me why she chose the path she did... She wants her son to live a healthy lifestyle and wants her son to know he has a father which is something I understand. Her and I realized we can't be friends again because of the emotional connection we have for each other. She told me the connection with me is different than any of the connections she has had with other men even the father of her child. When the guy, the father of the child, left she didn't care. She wasn't emotionally attached to him. However, with me it was different... She told me it was extremely hard for her to say goodbye. She told me the love for me will probably be there for the rest of her life and my love for her will be the same. While her and I were dating I was imagining us together for life and started to adjust emotionally and mentally for her son. I asked her what the status was like between her and her husband now. There is no form of intimacy between them, not even a sexual relationship. I did some more research on the position I currently am in now. I wanted to know if this is lust or love... It's half of love because she told me I can't support her son financially. She is absolutely right... I am a poor student... She didn't want me to give up my career... I am a little older than your average college aged student... She is also older than me by a few years... We been talking a lot... I am a very stubborn person to leave her behind and so is she. I spoke to another friend about the situation... My friend told me she is unhappy... Being romantic just comes natural for me. I always have the drive to express my love in all ways... I just don't quite understand how a man can't be a pursuer. I am sure the romance can take a dip when being with someone for 2 to 3 years or longer, but why stop stirring the fire? She often talks to me when her husband is not being a "man" she tells me he complains about his job how he hates it or complains about how he doesn't want to go to school, complains about money, and then just gets stressed out. I was raised in a home where my father hardly got stressed out or complained about life in general. We definitely had our hard times. At some times in my life growing up we were barely getting through, tight on money, and barely paying the bills. My dad didn't show any signs of stress. He just seem to keep it all inside and knew he would get us through this hard time. Growing up with that father who didn't show any signs of stress, complain, pity himself, or be moody just came to show me that being in a relationship is all about her needs and emotions. Yeah we men can show our emotions to a certain extent, but the last thing we want to do is overwhelm her. A woman needs a man who can be emotionally stable and support her financially. (The one thing I could do, but finishing my career would take longer). In all honesty I want her... More than what I have going on now with her I want to be her man and her my woman, but of course I know it's not going to happen... I do appreciate her being here for me and being of encouragement. I am open to anything, suggestions, stories, opinions, etc. I am having a really hard time posting this message because in all honesty I am a very stubborn person... =) (Haha) BTW this young lady I met wasn't my first... I've had a few relationships that lasted longer than a year and this woman is just different than what I have experienced in the past. I've never connected with this woman I am currently talking to with previous girlfriends.