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Help me with a girl

  1. Aug 28, 2004 #1
    Help me with this girl

    I have this friend. I like her and she likes me, but since i am the guy i have to make a first move. I was at her apartment for 5 hours but couldn't do jack. I had so many chances but didn't know where to start. She kept on inviting me to her apartment after latenight for water or some soda but, i don't know how to start.... if there are any pimps or playas please give mah dumb ass some advice....
     
    Last edited: Aug 28, 2004
  2. jcsd
  3. Aug 28, 2004 #2
    kiss her. The is the only difficult step. The rest comes naturally.
     
  4. Aug 28, 2004 #3

    quasar987

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    If you are really where you claim to be with her, i.e. if you're right about her feelings for you, then kissing her is pretty much all you have left to do.

    Wait 'til you are both on a couch. Lean back. Be relaxed.... Then with one of your streched out arms, casually stroke her hair and maybe casually comment on how they feel nice. If she is comfortable with that, despite how crazy this sounds, she is probably ready to be kissed! Look up to her eyes and down to her lips (she knows what that means). Again, if she doesn't become APPARENTLY nervous (she probably is but girls can hide it if needed and show it if needed.. that's one of the 1000 ways they communicate) or reluctant, then there is a near 100% chance she wants to be kissed.

    At this point I would recommand leaning foward and slightly brushing your lips against hers and then LEAN BACK and just look at her (that is one funny moment)... but I'm afraid that because you've been so hesitant in the past, she will see this as yet another one of your wussy escape. So just kiss her and get the torture over with :smile:.
     
  5. Aug 28, 2004 #4

    Gokul43201

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    I'm not a pimp or a playah, so if my words sound wacko, ignore them and use above proferred advice.

    What should you do next ? Tell her how you feel about her. The rest will follow.
     
  6. Aug 28, 2004 #5
    Gokul is so clever. You are totally right Gokul : it is easier and more natural to speak about your feelings first. I always try to kiss the girl first, so I often get slapped. :cry: :rolleyes: Besides, if you really care about her, it is a very good idea to begin a relation based on "sharing the way you feel", not just "obey your animal instincts".

    Great piece of advice Gokul, I'll try to follow it myself.
     
  7. Aug 28, 2004 #6

    quasar987

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    I'm really not a follower of the "tell her how you feel" school of thoughts and for the following reason:

    1) If a girl have you figured out completely, she will lose interest... FAST! (This "decline" of interest is true also when she has all the power in the relationship. Women try to get the power in a relationship but they also seek a men who will NOT LET HER TAKE IT. Profound.. :grumpy: ) Again, despite how crazy this sounds, I've heard of so many a priori GREAT relationships ending a month right after the guy has told her how he felt and BECAME HER DOG. You want to keep the suspence!

    2) Women like when romantic things JUST HAPPEN by themselves (as opposed to "it's obvious that you have carefully planned them to happen"). Therefor, going from stroking her hair to maybe taking her hand to looking down to her lips WHILE talking normally without putting huge I'M MAKING THIS HUGE COMMITMENT AND LOVE DECLARATION pressure on the atmosphere will convey - alsmot- the same message but without the dark side of using words.

    I have another one for you. A very smooth kiss-test that you can make anytime before stroking her hair: when the conversation goes a little dry, just pop-in with "Give me your hand." She does. You tell her that her big line crossing her palm is a river. She is on one side of the river and this thing that she wants is on the other side (you can put in whatever is relevant as "this thing that she wants "). Then you make her guess how she goes from one side to the other. She tries.. she gives silly suggestions and finally when she really gives up and ask you what the solution is, just reply with "I have no idea... I just wanted to hold you hand!" Ah! If she hits you on the shoulder of "insult" you (ex: you're mean!), then it's OOON! :biggrin:


    It would be nice to have a lady's perspective here! How about the cute mentor girl I forgot her name. Btw, Isn't being a cute girl and liking math/phys breaking a physical law somehwere?
     
  8. Aug 28, 2004 #7

    Gokul43201

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    Smooth ! Now that's a playah for you !! No, seriously.
     
  9. Aug 28, 2004 #8
    I tend to stay away from women like that, ones that easily lose interest. Id rather tell her how I feel about her than to be elusive all the time, because then I wouldnt be me, and I would be lying to myself the entire time.

    Try to find someone who wont use you.
     
  10. Aug 28, 2004 #9

    Moonbear

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    Aww, guys are so cute when they are shy about girls :shy:

    If she's already inviting you up to her apartment for silly reasons like getting a soda, then she's already asked you out :wink: If she didn't want to spend time alone with you, she wouldn't have offered such invitations. At this point, she'll be very tolerant of any choice of next move, whether it be bluntly asking if she wants to go out on a date, or kissing her. Us women, once we really like a guy, just end up thinking it's cute when you bumble around a bit. The trouble is if the girl doesn't already like you, then you have to be careful what moves you make so you don't scare her away. If you're still uncertain what she wants, next time you're sitting next to her on the couch, let your hand brush against hers. If she doesn't immediately pull her hand away, try holding her hand. If she goes along with that, then you have your answer. It's a little less bold than going straight for the kiss, which could be embarrassing if she isn't ready for it.

    You really could just ask, but until you've done this a few times, it's hard to know what words to say. Once you've accomplished hand-holding, it will be easier to ask her on a real date. Think about a place you'd like to take her ahead of time, then just go ahead and ask...would she like to go to ___ on whatever day, y'know, as a date?
     
  11. Aug 28, 2004 #10

    Gokul43201

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    "...y'know, as a date" :rofl: :rofl:
     
  12. Aug 28, 2004 #11

    Monique

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    I think quasar made several good points: it is good to give a girl compliments, but don't immediately lay your heart out on the table. Don't pressure, seduce :wink:
     
  13. Aug 28, 2004 #12
    Even though a girl may flirt with you, there is still a chance that they're only playing you as means of boosting their own ego. A lot of times, girls would flirt with a guy not because they're necessarily interested but because they want to see if they could "get this guy." And if they can, then they've won and they'll just move on. It's some kind of sick game for them. Yea, girls are such beeyatches. Just listen to the song "Femme Fatale" by Velvet Underground. It's all documented there....

    Hopefully, this girl you're interested in doesn't fall into this category. But don't be surprised if she did.

    Like my man Lil Steve always says: "Bros before Hos." Word.
     
  14. Aug 28, 2004 #13

    Evo

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    I'd agree with all that quasar987 said. Sounds like he's a pro. :cool:

    I also agree with Motai, if it's not something you're comfortable doing, best just to stay within your comfort zone. Girls like shy guys.

    Either way, do something. She's made all the first moves, she'll feel like you aren't interested if you don't make a move soon.
     
  15. Aug 28, 2004 #14
    I think the world would be so much better if girls asked guys out more often. I'd try what these guys are saying to do. I would've said to be blunt and honest but I don't know anything about the dating world.
     
  16. Aug 29, 2004 #15
    Hell no! Check the Freedom! thread that I started a month or so ago. Remember my friend Daphne, Jimmy p? :wink:
     
  17. Aug 29, 2004 #16
    Give her a flower. A nice one, that is. Not the most convenient piece of floral roadkill. Don't say anything, just whip it out and hand it to her when you walk in the door. Much easier than saying stuff.
     
  18. Aug 29, 2004 #17

    jimmy p

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    uh.... How about... I dunno, when she goes to get you juice or something, strip naked and then when she comes back, if she screams, then she aint interested. Wait... that was "Friends".
     
  19. Aug 29, 2004 #18

    Gokul43201

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    Aha... modus tribiani !!
     
  20. Aug 30, 2004 #19
    Awww... people asking for advice on girls makes me go all warm and fuzzy :shy:

    Girls are lovely! :smile:

    All I can say is be yourself. If any advice people give you seems a bit extreme or something you'd never be comfortable doing, then don't do it. Just act natural, don't think about these things too much, and it'll all happen. :biggrin:
     
  21. Aug 30, 2004 #20

    quasar987

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    That's true though. The LAST thing you want to do is not be genuine! But you gotta do SOMETHING as soon as possible.
     
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