Hi all. I apologize in advance for the long post, but I can't really relate to many people and am hoping you all can offer some invaluable advice. I've recently been enjoying being alone, doing absolutely nothing a lot more than being with others. I had a group of friends throughout middle school until soph. year of high school, but they started drinking entirely too much for me, not to mention partaking in other illegal activities. I just graduated from highschool a few days ago, and I haven't had any close friends since soph. year. I know the problem is most definitely me. I have had invites to hang out with people, but no one thinks like I do. In this newly found free time that I have, I've really gotten into physics and philosophy. Not high level stuff, but enough to keep me entertained and wanting to know more. I have a really hard time finding the pleasure in a crowded gymnasium watching a ball being thrown into a hoop when I could be learning about life and the universe. I read as many popular science books as I can, and I'm doing some MIT online classes. I really like this combination. I also find myself just aimlessly surfing the internet, which bothers me because it's such a waste of time. Now I'm not saying I'm a total recluse. I have gone on several dates in the past month, but I can't seem to fall for any of them. I have hung out with friends, but they have a close group which I don't want to join because of their activities. Also, I seem kind of depressed about life in general. I was a Christian...I really believed in everything and sought it deeper than most. That's why I didn't get into excessive drinking or anything. But I've thought about it a lot, and have come to the conclusion that I don't believe in Christianity anymore. Not that that's really relevant, but I am having "cosmological depression." What's the point in trying in anything if a) the people I impact will just die anyway, b) the sun will collapse in the *near* future, c) the universe may collapse. Thoughts of eternity and infinity also leave me with this sense of extreme helplessness...I can't really explain it, but I almost break down in tears at the pointlessness of everything. I'm excited for college in the fall because I'm going to a big engineering school. I think I'll find more people like me...at least someone who would rather gaze through a telescope than watch the newest episode of Glee. While I'm slightly sad that I didn't have a group for the last few years, I would have never gotten into physics if I continued hanging with them. I don't really know what I'm asking here...maybe some comfort, guidance, motivation, past experiences...anything you think may be of help.