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Hi, I am a new member

  1. Nov 14, 2015 #1
    Hi, I am a new member, I joined because I wanted to give some support to a person in a thread where she stated that she feels like a bad person. I think it's called "atelophobia", as I went to a psychologist and she told me that's what I may have as well.

    I believe it's like living in denial all the time. It does feel like that. I am not sure. I do try to find faults in myself all the time, but I don't do that with others, so I thought that might be the case. But then later I realise I am good, still I can't accept that I am good, as I always find an excuse outwardly for not being that. I think there are advantages to feeling this way, and also disadvantages. The advantages are that you always try your best, the disadvantages are that if you come across someone with poor boundaries, they may use this weakness against you. The thing I don't get sometimes is that whether the person using the fact against you really has "a distorted perception", because of their own issues and are just not very intuitive and see everyone that way, or is it really because they are bad people or still I question myself, if there is something I can improve. So the disadvantage when I get criticised is not to leave, but to prove myself, but then later I realise I am ok by testing myself, so I decide not to prove myself to others, but just to myself, that gives me relief.

    Sometimes, however, I become so stressed by my own tests, I start crying. It's kind of confusing, especially when I fail them. I cry because I put a lot of effort as well.

    The advantage is that I can use this in the health profession and I am caring towards family and friends.

    I also feel I give a different external vibe by who I really am, and I can't explain why as I am quite harmless. Why this happens?

    I used to be really a happy person. I have felt this way about myself for the past 5 years. I always need to reassure myself with details that I am not doing wrong and my decisions are OK, but otherwise I am very self-blaming, over nothing! And it's so frustrating. I feel I have been acting awkward with a crush because of this, so I want to stop feeling this way.
    Also, when I make a mistake, I try to make up for it 50 times, it's exaggerated that.

    Idk how to solve this problem. I was told by just being aware of it, you should feel better, but I really feel uncomfortable with that, so I try to forget.

    I tried sometimes stopped criticising myself, and started positive self talk instead, but it doesn't work always. I always doubt myself. I feel if I did stop criticising myself, then growth wouldn't happen and therefore life wouldn't make any sense.

    The only thing that gives me comfort is socialising, pets and nature. I lately started enjoying food as well and the environment.

    I don't have a religion. I am agnostic.

    Best wishes,

  2. jcsd
  3. Nov 14, 2015 #2


    Staff: Mentor

    Welcome to PF!

    Please take some time to read the rules of the site.

    While we can appreciate your concern for one of our posters, we can't offer any medical advice.

    We can only suggest to the member that they seek professional help.
    Last edited: Nov 16, 2015
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