Hot debate with friends

  • #1
677
16
Do you frequently have hot debates with friends? Or cold debate maybe. (whats the difference?)
I used to have such debates with my close friends which mostly went like this...
A: No, you are wrong. Actualy its like this..............
B: Ha Ha, you are a such a dumb. You forgot to realize this, ....
A: No, ...........
B: No, ...........
bla bla bla

Later I realized that we were mostly repeating the same thing many times. Its beacuse the other person wasn't listening to us carefully. The moment you begin your reply by words that reject your friends opinions such as "No', 'You are wrong' etc, you loose his attention. Instead of listening to you he begins thinking about what wrong might have he said and what reply is to be told next.
So, Now a days I always start my reply with -- "What you told is also very correct, but lets see this way..." and then slowly and subtly prove him wrong. This method has mostly worked and I end my debates soon these days.

Do you people also have similar problems?
 

Answers and Replies

  • #2
2,685
22
I try to be tactful in those situations.

I either let it go (is it really worth an argument with a friend over?) or, if I don't like you that much or don't consider you a friend I'll start slowly and work my way to full "you're talking BS".

I've learnt that launching in with "you're wrong" isn't the most effective way to approach things.

Take what they say and nudge it slightly towards what's right, slowly feed it in, spend that bit of extra time doing this and they'll accept what you say better and also have that "I thought of that" feeling. The more you do it, the easier it becomes. Eventually, they won't even realise you're outright saying they're wrong.
 
  • #3
159
0
Yes usually in the pub.

The pub is the new Roman forum.

As closing time approaches though the likelihood of making sense tends to diminish.

Kind of depends if you enjoy arguing or if you enjoy just sitting back and watching people argue or neither. If you do enjoy the cut and thrust of debate its probably best to make sure your friends do or it might devolve into someone storming out.

"My house is not my home, god damn it! You pretentious fool!"

Storms off to get coat whilst analysing in his mind if he will catch the last bus/train whilst simultaneously eyeing the barmaids breasts... Proving that men can multi task and breasts are indeed as fascinating after alcohol consumption as they were before.

Seriously though I do like arguing with friends. What makes them friends is if they don't take it too personally and it doesn't end up at a more contentious stage. It's a part of social life. Chose your battles wisely.
 
Last edited:
  • #4
Dembadon
Gold Member
624
89
Me: "Let's agree to disagree."

Friend: "So, you're out of arguments?"

Me: "Sure." :smile:
 

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