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How can I attract him?

  1. Oct 19, 2013 #1
    Hi every one,I have a problem and I want you to help me 4 years ago I had a boy friend and I was in a relation ship but he was unfaithful and he broke up with me and he became friend with my friend after that I was very sad I couldn't continue my usual life and I was not successful in all part of my life so now I don't have any self reliance and I'm very sad and on the other hand I feel lonely and I feel that i really want to forget every thing and start a new life there is a boy and he is my social friend but I really like him and I think he likes me too but he doesn't say any thing.how can I attract him? How can I make him ask me to start a relationship with each other?
     
  2. jcsd
  3. Oct 24, 2013 #2
    If you think he likes you, then you can talk to him and see if he says anything. Maybe you could give him some hints about your attraction towards him.
     
  4. Oct 24, 2013 #3

    jedishrfu

    Staff: Mentor

    The best way is to ask him out for daytime tea or lunch or whatever is the custom and then see what happens from there. Maybe you have some common interests that can result in going to the library or see a movie or concert. You can sound desperate and you cant push yourself on him. A good relationship has to come naturally and slowly.
     
  5. Oct 29, 2013 #4
    You know in our culture it's not very suitable for a girl to tell a boy that she likes him it makes them deny her.i don't know how to give some hints to him.
     
  6. Oct 29, 2013 #5
    It's been near 5 months that we are going to movies concerts and other places with each other we go shopping some time he hold my hands but he doesn't say any thing! And I can't understand is he just my close friend or he likes me?
     
  7. Oct 29, 2013 #6

    jedishrfu

    Staff: Mentor

    But she could express an interest to his female cousin or sister or use the mother to mother connection...
     
  8. Oct 29, 2013 #7
    Sorry, I'm a girl and I'm talking about a boy !
     
  9. Oct 29, 2013 #8
    Sorry for wrong reply I can't understand the point of your sentences what do you mean bye them?
     
  10. Oct 29, 2013 #9

    Drakkith

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    I think they mean talk to a female relative of his and tell them you're interested in him and perhaps they can "pass the message along". That way you're not going directly to him. Or they can pressure him to ask you out without directly telling him you're interested, if that's a little more appropriate.
     
  11. Oct 29, 2013 #10
    Thanks for your explanation.his sister is one of my close friends but as I said before I don't have self reliance and I afraid of tell any thing about him to any one.specially our mutual friends or the member of his family
     
  12. Oct 29, 2013 #11

    Drakkith

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    Are you willing to risk never being together because both of you are too afraid to make the first move?
     
  13. Oct 29, 2013 #12

    arildno

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    Then you must find out, sharzad1984, where he typically goes, and that are suitable for a girl like you to turn up as well.
    Basically, if you feel it socially impossible to make the initiative yourself, then must make it easy for him to take the initiative.
     
  14. Oct 29, 2013 #13
    Oh that's the point,I'm not wiling for that actually I afraid of that! But you know I don't want to start it,last not I said to him if you like a girl you should tell her and he said if a gir likes a boy she should tell him..so?
     
  15. Oct 29, 2013 #14
    But how can I do that?
     
  16. Oct 29, 2013 #15

    jtbell

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    I guess from your username that this is an Islamic culture, correct?

    Your problem is surely a common one for women in such cultures, and they have developed strategies for dealing with it. However, I don't think we have many women on PF who have experience with this. Most of the advice you get here will probably be from an "outsider's" point of view.
     
  17. Oct 29, 2013 #16
    Yeah you're right I'm living in Iran.so you mean because of I'm a person who is dealing with Islamic culture no one from outside can help me??
     
  18. Oct 29, 2013 #17

    Student100

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    It would be hard, because we do it differently in western culture.

    The only thing I can think to tell you is to not try so hard, maybe even pretend to lose interest in this boy. That may trigger a response in him to pursue you more vigorously.

    That normally works universally.
     
  19. Oct 29, 2013 #18
    All right,I have a question.is it suitable for a girl to ask for a relationship in your culture? Don't you think if a girl do this it makes the boy feeling important and selfish so that he starts to deny her instead of being interested in her? I think the mens are mens ! And it's their nature and this is some thing separated from any culture..and thanks for your advice! I guess it will help! :)
     
  20. Oct 29, 2013 #19

    arildno

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    "Don't you think if a girl do this it makes the boy feeling important and selfish so that he starts to deny her instead of being interested in her? "

    Nope.
    Boys are certainly dumb and vain, but they are not duplicitous. That's a girl thing (in MY opinion!). BOys tend to be overjoyed that a girl could possibly take interest in them, and have strong difficulties hiding it (up to a point, that is, don't overdo it).

    The important thing for you to remember, particularly within your cultural setting is to ALWAYS care about your own dignity (or what others regard that as), meaning specifically that if the boy is overeager, YOU are the one to keep the strict limits you think is appropriate.

    To express, or let him know that you have warm feelings towards him should NOT lead him believe he can take advantage of you, and if he does, tell him straight out you are very disappointed he did not show more respect towards you.
    ---:
     
  21. Oct 29, 2013 #20

    Drakkith

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    Actually I had a girl ask me out recently.
    It was awesome.
     
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