- #1
powerflow
- 7
- 0
Hey,
my problem is that I really want to flirt with girls and have dates badly. However, when approaching a girls, I feel that I have no plan. If I start a conversation anyway, it might sometimes go OK in like the first 20 seconds, but then I end up not really knowing what to say. I know being cocky and funny is important and telling stories is important, but so far, I am not good enough at that.
What strikes me about this weakness is that in the last couple of months, I have undergone incredibly great changes (as never happened before in such a short time) and in terms of personal development, I was very successful. I tried many new things, put in some effort, and I succeeded. Flirting stands out: I have no success, no dates here.
I won't bore you with my life story, but these facts are important: I grew up with my parents who are very old and conservative and basically fear the whole world. I had grown incredibly dependent on them, and whenever I did or wanted something contrary to their 'recommendations', it made me feel terrible. They felt it is most important for me to study well and also felt that 'distractions' like going out in the evenings, socialising and, most of all, having a girlfriend, will eventually make me fail my studies and ruin me.
Last summer, turning 23, I decided to change everything. I started continuously implementing the things that are important to me in my life and finally began acting contrary to what my parents wanted. Now, 9 months later, I have accomplished a lot:
It just hurts that flirting and dating are not something I was able to accomplish, even though I put in lots of effort. I still do have some fear of approaching a woman, but above all, I can't sell myself well, I don't really know how to present myself as an interesting person, how to be attractive. My looks seem OK, my physique is OK, my wardrobe is, too. But I haven't been in a relationship for almost four years, and I really want one. Or at least flirting and having fun.
Maybe you can give me some advice?
my problem is that I really want to flirt with girls and have dates badly. However, when approaching a girls, I feel that I have no plan. If I start a conversation anyway, it might sometimes go OK in like the first 20 seconds, but then I end up not really knowing what to say. I know being cocky and funny is important and telling stories is important, but so far, I am not good enough at that.
What strikes me about this weakness is that in the last couple of months, I have undergone incredibly great changes (as never happened before in such a short time) and in terms of personal development, I was very successful. I tried many new things, put in some effort, and I succeeded. Flirting stands out: I have no success, no dates here.
I won't bore you with my life story, but these facts are important: I grew up with my parents who are very old and conservative and basically fear the whole world. I had grown incredibly dependent on them, and whenever I did or wanted something contrary to their 'recommendations', it made me feel terrible. They felt it is most important for me to study well and also felt that 'distractions' like going out in the evenings, socialising and, most of all, having a girlfriend, will eventually make me fail my studies and ruin me.
Last summer, turning 23, I decided to change everything. I started continuously implementing the things that are important to me in my life and finally began acting contrary to what my parents wanted. Now, 9 months later, I have accomplished a lot:
- I applied and got accepted at one of the most prestigious Universities in the world for my Master's. I will move away from my parents in only a couple of months to take that course.
- I am paying attention to my diet and I am regularly working out. My physique has improved a lot.
- I am now aware of fashion and I have compiled a good-looking wardrobe.
- I socialise with my friends a lot more than I used to, and I love it.
- I am taking art lessons every week now (I am passionate about certain types of art).
- I am not afraid anymore and I take risks all the time. I do not need approval from my parents anymore. Investing so much time for my own well-being (i.e. socialising, sports, fashion) leaves less time for study right now. A year ago, such a thought would have made me sick of fear. Now it is OK, I give my best and just don't feel so much fear anymore.
- All of the above are my work, I planted the ideas, I made them real. There was no one to help me and my parents were very strictly agains all of the bullets.
It just hurts that flirting and dating are not something I was able to accomplish, even though I put in lots of effort. I still do have some fear of approaching a woman, but above all, I can't sell myself well, I don't really know how to present myself as an interesting person, how to be attractive. My looks seem OK, my physique is OK, my wardrobe is, too. But I haven't been in a relationship for almost four years, and I really want one. Or at least flirting and having fun.
Maybe you can give me some advice?