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How Do I Get Rid Of A Roommate

  1. Dec 31, 2008 #1
    I'm sure that laws differ from place to place but I'm just hoping for a general idea of what I need do and how long it may take.

    My roommate lost his job over three months ago. In the mean time he has done nothing but lay around the house, eat my food, and go hang out with friends and party. As far as I know he has spent a total of two days actually out looking for a job and that was only after I berated him. Nothing I do seems to make a difference. Things just keep getting worse. I can't deal with it any more.

    I know that legally I can not just kick him out. He knows this and so if I were to try to get rid of him he would most likely just stay put. I am assuming that I will have to contact the rent management company and talk to them. I have no idea how it would wind up working out, whether I would have to continue paying all of the rent or not, and just how long it will take to get rid of him. As far as I know it normally takes a month minimum to evict someone and if he actually winds up getting his unemployment before then I will be stuck with a roommate I just tried to get evicted.
  2. jcsd
  3. Dec 31, 2008 #2
    You should contact your rental agency (in person). Explain the situation. Undoubtedly they have dealt with similar situations in the past and will have advice. I would also send them correspondence by regular mai land email to establish a "paper trail" if things turn nasty.

    I don't think you should worry about getting stuck with a roomate you tried to get evicted. If he starts bringing in money, *he* is the one who should be worried about making reparations to you and smoothing things over.

    Is he on the lease? Do you have receipts for the rent you paid? I'm sure the landlord does? This sounds like an open and shut case for 'The People's Court'.
  4. Dec 31, 2008 #3


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    I'm not sure you can really kick him out, since he hasn't really done anything wrong. As long as he keeps paying rent, the problem is yours and not the rental companies.

    It's also important to find out, as the above poster says, whether your lease is joint between the two of you, or whether you have single leases. If the former, then you are probably required to cover the rent until you find someone else to take over the room.

    The best solution is probably for the both of you to move out, and move on with your lives.
  5. Dec 31, 2008 #4
    Hi, Don't know where you live, but it sounds like he is depressed even if he is going out to party's.
    Don't know how close you are to him but he might benefit from talking to a counselor, (a good one.) Then contact his support system to see if they will do just that.
    We find a lot of things in this building tossed in the trash that just need a little tweak so we fix the items up and return them to the original owner.
    He sounds like he is tossing his life in the trash. give him another tweak.
    Don't know many folks these days that are NOT depressed to some degree so you can just tell him it's not such a big thing but that it needs be addresses because he is buying and making dinner tomorrow when he gets back from counsel.
  6. Dec 31, 2008 #5


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    Every lazy bum will happily pretend to be depressed once he we will learn it earns him compassion. Dangerous road IMHO.
  7. Dec 31, 2008 #6


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    There's a difference between being mopey around the house, and being depressed. People who suffer from the latter cannot get out of bed in a morning, or go down to the corner shop to buy milk, let alone go out with friends and party. The term 'depressed' is banded around far too much these days, and a solution of anti-depressants given when all the person really needs to do is pull their finger out and do something with their life.
  8. Dec 31, 2008 #7
    OK, I agree that some people are outright bums and will use any trick to freeload and steal. I guessed this person was a student which I should have asked about first.
    If he is, I think he is worth trying to help.
    Again I don't know his history. Was he a fine, hard working person until all of a sudden?
    But as far as depression goes, one not need be so depressed that they can not get out of bed to go to a party and drink and or take drugs to be clinically depressed. The fact that he is going to the party's at a time like this seems to be a red flag that he may be depressed with a duel diagnosis.
    If someone is not interested in care-taking because their life is seriously too full of hard work then I withhold my comments for a situation where this is not the case.
  9. Dec 31, 2008 #8
    In the states I've lived in, if you work with a rental agency they require that (for unrelated tenants) that each tenant sign a separate lease. Thus, they can help you get rid of the roommate. However, generally you will be responsible for finding a new roommate to fill the slot (the exception being a few special high-rise type of apartment-buildings that cater to affordable living for students, and these will collect rent from roommates separately and assign roommates if you don't have a group together). Until you find a new roommate, you're likely to have to foot the bill for the rent... but at least you won't be enduring the loss of groceries, etc.

    I would, perhaps, worry also about retaliation... it would be best to be careful about your cash and valuables (store them outside the place if possible). If retaliation ensues, you'll need to consider a lawyer (depending on the price of lost/damaged goods)... and it won't be cheap.

    Note: If you are subletting an apartment (or space in one) it's best to have that tenant always sign a sublease (when I did this, I copied my apartments lease and replaced "lessor" or "landlord" with "sublessor", and I replaced "tenant" or "lessee" with "sublessee")
  10. Dec 31, 2008 #9
    Pretending to be a male or a female fo some special purposes(money, food, online sex talks to masterbate infront of the computers) may be easier for 50s-70s because he knows how he in in in with his wives, but prentending to be depressed is not easy for younger men
  11. Dec 31, 2008 #10
    Yeah, I intend to speak with the company. I'm just worried about how much of a difficulty it might be to deal with. If they insist that I pay for the eviction process I wont be able to afford it because I'm paying all the rent and bills on my own, besides having other financial worries to deal with. I'm also worried how they will react if they find out that only one of us is making an income.
    He is, supposedly, my best friend. He has never paid me back anything no matter how much he has assured me he will. I was very serious with him about getting into this living arrangment and telling him I will not tolerate his usual lack of responsibility. Unfortunately I was stupid to think things would be different.

    I'm sorry I forgot to state it specifically but he is not paying rent. The first month he paid from his severence. The next he borrowed money and told me it was from unemployment but of course he never received another check. Last month I paid it all and this month will be the same I'm fairly certain.
    The lease is for the two of us as far as I know and we can not get out of it unless we pay them at least part of the rest of the rent for the lease period which I can not afford.

    I'm sure he is depressed but I don't really care. I have talked to him about what is going on and all he does is say that he is sorry and that he will take care of it immediately then he goes right back to doing all the same stuff. He has turned to lying to me because he apparently thinks that will make things better but it only angers me more. He doesn't seem to care that it angers me and just keeps lying and insisting that he is not lying.
    I am stressed, depressed, and angry. Yet I can still get out and run my errands and go to work. My life is falling apart around me because of him and my having to pay what he can not. I have tried appealing to him by telling him just how much of a burden this is and how it will eventually deteriorate to a point that I can no longer afford to deal with. I tell him I need him to help me by actually taking some responsibility. And he says he is sorry. And now he just stays away for days on end hanging out with friends so he doesn't have to deal with me.
    And now I'm just ranting about all of this personal stuff that I had intended not to get into lol. Sorry.

    Precisely. I think he knows I wont fall for this any more and so he just avoids dealing with me as much as possible.
  12. Dec 31, 2008 #11


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    I rided myself of a room mate one time, not only did he leave the room, he left the county, i am not sure if it 100% legal though.
  13. Dec 31, 2008 #12
    Probably good that you got this out. Since your depressed, please know that you are well liked here and have many friends and people truly interested in your best interest.
    It's a very personal situation.... however, if he has gone past your tolerance for his ongoing and what sounds like natural behavior, you can try a few things that others have mentioned. The legal way, or the terror way. You know he is afraid and is avoiding you, you have the upper hand. We use to rent our properties and did so without so much
    advantage for the temp renters, because we were doing this to support a "good deeds" group. Management of the building allowed us for some time. But Mr S.Ape, a few times we got a real lulu in the apartment.
    The scary part goes like this. Give no warning. And study hard the Shinning. Then bury your emotions and give the best performance of your life.
    He may not tidy up as he is running out the door, but cleaning and redecorating your home will be a pleasure.
    I have done this several times. My husband takes to the closet, I hide my fear and done.
    Hope he is not reading this. If he is he will just stare at you and know he can stay longer or forever.
    In in fact know another member of this community who uses this method.
    Had leanings naturally but sure I perfected it by watching her.
    Best of luck and do something beautiful and truly good for YOU.
  14. Dec 31, 2008 #13
    LOL, who was your drama coach? Jack Nicholson, John Malkovich?
  15. Dec 31, 2008 #14
    Kill him.
  16. Dec 31, 2008 #15
    Yeah, but my mentor ran into a problem with hiding the bodies. However she made good on Tshirts.
  17. Dec 31, 2008 #16
    Just toss him into nearby ocean/river.
  18. Dec 31, 2008 #17


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    I can sympathize.

    It's hard to estimate these type of things, but I figure it's costing me over half a million to get rid of my room mate.

    I should make a special post about it. Cyrus would love it. He'd link to it every time someone asks for dating advice.
  19. Dec 31, 2008 #18
    I duno, scarying someone stupid is not as messy and does not polute the water. What do you think?
  20. Dec 31, 2008 #19


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    It would appear to me that this monster is pretty much entirely of your own creation. Time to cut him off.

    One of my best friends is somewhat like this guy: I refuse to subsidize his lack of motivation. I only loaned him money once and when he didn't pay it back(actually, I paid for a football ticket and hotel room and never got all of it back), that was it. We're still friends, but he knows the boundaries. In your case, you let him have the control instead of asserting control yourself.

    If you have a long lease and you are both on it, you're stuck with him until it ends, but I bet if you wrap a bike chain around the refrigerator, he'll start to get the message that he's cut off.
    Last edited: Dec 31, 2008
  21. Dec 31, 2008 #20
    That is about as scary as it gets. Good luck holding your own in that. You can do it. No matter how much he whines, begs (more), or calls you bad names.
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