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How honest can you be?

  1. Jun 30, 2013 #1

    wolram

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    How honest can you be, i found myself in a situation where if i said anything i would be in the wrong withe one party or the other, yet if i said nothing i would still be in the wrong.
    If each party was equally right in their point of view what should one do?
     
  2. jcsd
  3. Jun 30, 2013 #2

    Danger

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    Either run like hell or just express your own opinion. If one or both of them are going to get pissed off at you, that's their problem rather than yours.
     
  4. Jun 30, 2013 #3

    lisab

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    You could start by assuring them that it's expected that reasonable people will disagree with each other from time to time. And if friendships were ended based on those occasional disagreements, it would eventually end all friendships. You might add something like, I hope none of us are so short-sighted we would behave that way.

    Then state your case.
     
  5. Jul 1, 2013 #4

    HayleySarg

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    I tend to side with always telling the truth. Brutally so, even in relationships. In the end, I figure if I respect them, that's the least I should do.

    Thus, I'd come clean to both of them. Preferably in the same room, unless there was some act of passion involved (affair etc). You can't do anything but present the facts, and ask for their thoughts. There's a chance it'll become heated, if so, don't chase either of them. Just let them sort out their feelings in peace, and re-approach at a later date.

    Chances are, if the truth blind-sides them, they're going to feel a bit uncomfortable.

    Cheers
     
  6. Jul 1, 2013 #5
    Let me guess. Your wife just bought a new dress, put it on to model for you and asked the loaded question " Does this dress make my butt look fat?", while at the same time in the room is her mother, your mother-in-law, who by chance just hours before in the kitchen with you stated that she it is imperative that she have your support in getting her daughter to loose some weight for health reasons, whether or not true, and you agree in a halfheartedly fashion which your mother-in-law will condider binding.
    You seem to be in a pickle sir!
     
  7. Jul 1, 2013 #6
    Hmm, that could be interesting :smile:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SuFScoO4tb0
     
  8. Jul 1, 2013 #7

    BobG

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    Psssh! That's easy!

    "Not nearly as fat as when you're naked!"

    I'm single, by the way.

    But I was married at one time, so I have experience in these things.
     
  9. Jul 1, 2013 #8

    russ_watters

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    You've almost certainly misunderstood/characterized the situation: there is almost always a right and wrong answer for you, even if either answer will anger one party or the other.
     
  10. Jul 1, 2013 #9
    You say that based on your answer, you will "be in the wrong with" one or the other party in the dispute. This sounds more like a social dilemma than a moral one. As such, it's hard to give a useful solution without more information.
     
  11. Jul 1, 2013 #10

    wukunlin

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    I do whatever that is most likely to let me walk out in one piece
     
  12. Jul 1, 2013 #11
    Good to always be honest; building a web of lies leads to no good.
     
  13. Jul 1, 2013 #12
    I don't necessarily agree. Absolute honesty can be painful to the recipient, not to mention the truth teller. Your wife's butt NEVER looks fat, no matter the outfit.
     
  14. Jul 1, 2013 #13
    Tell that to Abe:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RPX2cQP8uoI
     
  15. Jul 1, 2013 #14
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7vI3n6A4jUg
     
  16. Jul 1, 2013 #15
    Something scares me about being in a room of people where everything they say is a cover, or is planned/rehearsed. The faces are complete fabrications, a disguise concealing the horrors that truly lies beneath it, horrors that if not uncovered and extinguished, can lead to unimaginable pain, persecution, and depravity.
     
  17. Jul 1, 2013 #16

    HayleySarg

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    Depends on the wife I'd imagine. Some of us are capable of rational thought ;)

    I'm in the camp of "always tell the whole truth" but with tact. Yes, honey, you're getting a bit fat. Well, a lot fat. Let's make a plan to eat better and walk in the mornings, it'll be better for both of us.
     
  18. Jul 1, 2013 #17
    That's easy to say if you're not fat, and you don't look fat :redface:

    Edit: Aren't I a charmer :tongue:
     
  19. Jul 1, 2013 #18

    HayleySarg

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    Bahaha. I'm a bit fat, but not bad. I'd like to call it well fed >=) And by well fed, I mean, I eat a lot of ramen and eggs and pizza. Heh.

    The way I see it, people will find any reason to be offended. Why not give 'em a reason.
     
  20. Jul 2, 2013 #19
    LoL! The horror, the HORROR!, of using tact with a loved one!
     
  21. Jul 2, 2013 #20
    And, "Is it OK if we ever have sex again? Doggie-style? Where I'm looking at your fat ***?"
     
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