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How to give bad news!

  1. Jul 15, 2005 #1

    Lisa!

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    I was shocked and depressed for some days after I heard about the death of my friend's bf! :uhh: Because someone just told me about in a terrible way.She told me "Remember we talked alot about *'s bf and how he looked like?He died last week!" :bugeye: :cry:
     
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  3. Jul 15, 2005 #2

    wolram

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    Im not sure there is a good way to give bad news especially about a death.
    try to be tactful, supportive, dont give details at first they can be given
    latter if the person wants them, thats all i can think of.
     
  4. Jul 15, 2005 #3

    dextercioby

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    It would be much better not to say a word and show police photos, especially if there was a (very) violent death. :yuck: I mean, in that case, pictures do the talking much better. :smile:

    Daniel.
     
  5. Jul 15, 2005 #4

    dextercioby

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    Or even better:

    "I've got some really bad news. Do you like me (:wink:) to tell you directly, or to give you some good sounding bul$**t for a couple of minutes (at this point, you seem to reach into your pocket looking for a piece of paper :devil:) before letting you know that X died ?" o:) :tongue2:

    Daniel.
     
  6. Jul 15, 2005 #5

    BobG

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    You're sick and insensitive. Surely you could think of a [post=672092]more sensitivie way to give the news[/post] than that.
     
  7. Jul 15, 2005 #6
    Im sorry to hear that your friends boyfriend passed away. perhaps it felt wrong to hear it that way becuase it was almost like gossip, like the person who told you felt they had some juicy bit of new he or she just had to tell you. I believe this person should have warned you that the news was bad, and perhaps not seemed so thrilled to tell you.
     
  8. Jul 15, 2005 #7

    JamesU

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    sorry to hear that lisa!.

    :rofl: did I post that?
     
  9. Jul 16, 2005 #8

    Lisa!

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    Thanks all of you.

    I agree with you.


    :bugeye: :bugeye: Do you want to kill the person who recieves news from you?And are you talking about crime? :wink:

    Who said thereis no evil Bob? :wink:

    You know what drives me crazy about her, is that she told me that news like when nothing important has happened! :cry:
    :devil: :rofl:
     
  10. Jul 16, 2005 #9

    Danger

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    Sorry to hear about your loss, Lisa!. Since I don't know the extent of your acquaintance with the guy, I can only speculate that your friend didn't think you would be all that concerned about it. Either that, or she was so uncomfortable talking about it that blurting it out was the only way she could think of to tell you.
    Dex, quit being a jerk. Death doesn't particularly affect me, but some people are very upset about it even when it's just a casual acquaintance.
    In a case like this, I would first ask if you've been in contact with (name here) lately, in order to find out if you already know about it. If not, then bring up the subject of the bf and tactfully explain what had happened. At that point it should become a mutual concern to seek out and comfort the girl who lost her bf.
     
  11. Jul 16, 2005 #10

    Astronuc

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    Sorry to hear about your loss, Lisa! When you see your friend, just say "I heard about ----- and I am so sorry." And let your friend talk or not. Many people have trouble dealing with and talking about death.
     
  12. Jul 16, 2005 #11

    Lisa!

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    Not important how much I did know that guy.She knew how much I like my friend and for sure I can't stand her sadness.My friend and his bf got engaged togethere and decided to get married very soon.Right now she's so upset and feels like a widow.They were too much in love and for sure she can't forget him forever even if she'll find a better bf!Because she lost her love in a silly accident!Whenever I meet her or hear about her, I feel terrible! :cry:
     
  13. Jul 16, 2005 #12

    Astronuc

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    There is no such thing as being "too much in love" with the right person. The risk of loving someone is that someday they will die, and one will 'lose' that person and that connection.
     
  14. Jul 17, 2005 #13

    Danger

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    Hi, Astro;
    Believe it or not, the part of my post that I deleted before posting was: "Astronuc seems to be the go-to guy in situations like this. His experience and humanistic nature are what are required here." The only reasons that I omitted it were because I can't speak for you, and I figured that you'd show up on your own initiative.
    You're just too solidly reliable... :smile:
     
  15. Aug 4, 2005 #14

    Lisa!

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    Ok I recieved another bad news! My elementary school teacher has died. :cry: :cry: :cry: Well I wasn't shocked the way that my mother gave me the news. She always kills me whenevr she wants to give bad news. She says nothing's happened. but base on what I know about her, it makes me sure that it has. I try to guess it and I usually start by the worst.
    For example she was talking about a teacher's death and when I asked her "Who was s/he?", she told me that I didn't know her. But I could see in her eye that she was lying. So I started by my favorite teachers :cry: and fianally she told me who she was! :cry: :cry: I don't think it's a good way to give a bad news, but it works for me most of time!
     
  16. Aug 4, 2005 #15
    I think that Astro and Danger have covered it pretty well. The only thing I would add is that sometimes when people have been going through such a hard time with something for a few days they get upset when people keep bringing it up. Sometimes it may be best to not say anything unless they bring it up yet be sure not to pretend like nothing happened because they may feel like you're being callous.
     
  17. Aug 4, 2005 #16

    Lisa!

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    Good point.
     
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