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How to propose to my GF of 1.5 months?

  1. Aug 23, 2012 #1
    Dear PF community,

    I am here to hear your advice on how/when/where to propose to my girlfriend of 1.5 months.

    I understand less than 2 months of relationship is quite short and I do understand the notion of certain women being "easy come and easy go." But I do feel strongly about this particular woman. If what I feel is not love, then I certainly wouldn't know what love is. Mind you, this relationship is not one that is unreciprocated as she expresses her love interest in me equally if as not as frequently and fervently. To inform you on the degree of our intimacy, we live together now as we have done during the 90% of our time since the fortunate day that she laid her heavenly eyes upon me. And the latter part of this summer has been the best summer of my life. It should be known that she will be leaving for abroad in the middle of Sept and her promise is she will be back by June of next year as she had done for several years. I have no doubt that she will do so, however just seems not right letting her go without "sealing the deal" per best of my abilities.

    I am 27 years old, she is 27 as well but a calender year younger. She is my first ever true girlfriend. She has a child of 5 years from a previous marriage.

    So how/when/where should I propose to her?

    I was thinking at the airport during her departure, would this be a good idea? And yes, if I was ever certain about anything, she will say yes.
     
  2. jcsd
  3. Aug 23, 2012 #2
    Why don't you move with her? I'm sorry, but this seems like a very bad idea to me.
     
  4. Aug 23, 2012 #3

    Ryan_m_b

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    Two big pieces of advice:

    - Never propose in public

    - Never propose in a situation where the other person has do leave real soon

    Both of those put lots of pressure on the person being asked. As for whether or not you should propose....5/6 weeks really isn't enough time to get to know someone properly. IMO you have to have been with someone for at least a year to know how you work together over time. The first year or two of a relationship is pretty much the honeymoon phase, no marriage is going to last if it is based on that. Try just being together for a few years, at some point move in together so that you can learn what it's like to live with them, then see how you feel.

    At the end of the day it's your choice but IMO its a huge risk that could end the relationship. If you don't propose then she's not going anywhere, you can spend the next few years together and if it looks like it could be a long term thing then you can think about proposing.
     
  5. Aug 23, 2012 #4

    Evo

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    My opinion is that a marriage proposal should never be a "surprise". A mutual understanding between both partners that you wish to be married must exist first.

    Second, I would not recommend asking someone you've only known for 1.5 months. You don't even know the person yet. Yes, once in awhile a miracle happens and it works out. Don't count on a miracle.
     
  6. Aug 23, 2012 #5

    Astronuc

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    The phrases "girlfriend of 1.5 months", "at the airport during her departure", and "she will be back by June of next year" seem to raise the issue of a short-term, long-distance relationship. It's possible it could work, but perhaps one should wait until she returns.

    Or travel abroad in 6 months and spend a week or weeks with her., and see how it goes.


    It sounds like infatuation at the moment.
     
  7. Aug 23, 2012 #6

    micromass

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    You want to propose to your girlfriend after 1.5 months??

    Let me read this again...

    You want to propose to your girlfriend after 1.5 months????

    Don't do it, it's a very bad idea.

    And certainly don't do it in a public spot, you'll embarrass yourself and her.
     
  8. Aug 23, 2012 #7
    I have academic obligations that need to be taken care of. Which she insist I finalize when I offered to abandon them and move with her.

    During our shopping trip, we payed visit to a jewelry shop and tried on several rings and ascertained her ring size and diamond preferences. It made the act of proposal within grasp and her eagerness to accept apparent. But your words make sense. Thanks.

    Thanks for the advice. It certainly seems I am rushing.
     
  9. Aug 23, 2012 #8
    Something to watch before you go ahead propose
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6MNcCUgzzw
    :)

    I loved the one around 56 second :rofl:
     
  10. Aug 23, 2012 #9

    Monique

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    You know her for 1.5 months and she'll be leaving for 9 months? That's a tough one! I don't think a proposal will seal any deal. If you're going to propose, do it well before she leaves so that you can enjoy some time together as fiancees. I don't see much harm in proposing, it's called an engagement.. some people stay engaged for over 10 years. Enjoy life while you can.
     
  11. Aug 23, 2012 #10

    Monique

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    Know that if the feelings are sincere from both sides, there is no need to rush into a marriage.
     
  12. Aug 23, 2012 #11
    When is easy - before you two get married.
    Where is easy - any where you both are together.
    How - facing her , eyes forward, holding her hand , ...

    Airport at departure - Great idea. why not add some more stress and add an oompah band and some jugglers for effect. If she misses her flight in all the commotion ....

    You two could just go out to a shop and buy each other promise rings if people still do that sort of thing.
     
  13. Aug 23, 2012 #12

    turbo

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    Just be nice and take your time. No need to rush.
     
  14. Aug 23, 2012 #13

    Monique

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    Yes, my boyfriend and I have promise rings :biggrin: That really was a sufficient display of affection to me, no need to get married. And we moved in together within two months of dating, didn't regret it for one day.
     
  15. Aug 23, 2012 #14
    That's about the story of my eldest kids an eventually they both decided to marry anyway. Oh and in case you change your mind, no need to hire a photographer. Just let me know.
     
  16. Aug 23, 2012 #15
    This is a horrible idea, especially considering she's already been divorced. Give it a year or so and you'll be incredibly relieved.
     
  17. Aug 24, 2012 #16

    Monique

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    Thanks Andre, I'll remind that! :biggrin: I just think that if we get married it will be in a far-away place, at least not in a traditional manner. But who knows..
     
  18. Aug 24, 2012 #17
    Good, :approve: I can recommend this place :smile:

    Edit, https://dl.dropbox.com/u/22026080/IMG_9240-_filtered-ready.jpg [Broken] -full size- after post processing and cloning out some rubbish
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 6, 2017
  19. Aug 24, 2012 #18

    turbo

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    This is a beautiful place!!!
     
  20. Aug 25, 2012 #19

    Drakkith

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    Why the big fuss about marriage? In my opinion a true lasting relationship shouldn't be any different before or after marriage, so why rush? What do you gain? Certainly not love. But you can end up losing so much...
    And considering she will be gone for nearly a year...I think proposal will simply artificially bind you two together with no benefit.

    However, if it really means that much to you, I suggest talking to her and telling her you were thinking of proposing and see what she thinks about marriage at this point in your relationship. It could be that she wants nothing to do with it right now and would much rather wait. And when I say talk about it, I mean TALK about it. Not for 3 minutes, but for like 3 hours. Go into details. Get to know each others feelings about everything. If you can't sustain a lengthy conversation about it, then it's likely you two aren't close enough emotionally yet to be engaged.

    Of course, that's just my opinion. And I am single...so take it for what you will.
     
    Last edited: Aug 25, 2012
  21. Aug 25, 2012 #20

    Monique

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    Beautiful picture and beautiful place! Maybe some day.. :smile:
     
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