How to stop procrastination/insecurity?

[Humanlimits]

So, this is my first post here; I hope it comes across as lucid as possible.

I'm freshly 17, and I've found the math at my school to be quite bad (as in not rigorous or challenging). So over the past several months, I put together an independent self-study plan; it consists of enough math to last me the next few years. I put together a schedule to get through a certain amount each day. I've started studying some, and have found it fine. But, I haven't done much in about about 2-3 days.

I've been half way procrastinating, and I think partly I'm scared that I'm not smart enough to make it through. I have very low self esteem already, plus I was kicked out of my band recently. I've also been coping with severe existential/major depression plus anxiety for a number of years.

How do I overcome my insecurity/procrastination and stick with my plan?

[Edited to make some things more clear.]

 

[jim hardy]

I've been half way procrastinating, and I think partly I'm scared that I'm not smart enough to make it through.

been there, done that, it's not uncommon, some part of our brain uses the perverse logic 'if i don't try then it won't really be a failure'
Realize that it's self sabotage and really kinda silly.

Accept that you're not perfect but you can make yourself a lot better.

Read the story of Demosthenes, the Greek orator who put pebbles in his mouth to overcome his speech defect.
https://www.britannica.com/biography/Demosthenes-Greek-statesman-and-orator

A "just do it" kind of guy, huh ?

I've also been coping with severe existential/major depression plus anxiety for a number of years.

been there, done that too...
Success is a series of little daily victories. And it's a powerful antidote to depression. I find it helpful to make something to visually track my progress. You might try a chart of your schedule where you check off the items on it as you go,or of math problems worked... Put it where you'll see it, on the fridge or your computer screen...

How do I over come my insecurity/procrastination and stick with my plan?

If your present routine isn't working try changing it. Get up a couple hours early and do homework . Get to bed early so you feel good when you wake up. Eat breakfast. Avoid sugar in the afternoon.
Focus on establishing good work and study habits, not on grades. What you will find is that putting in honest effort feels good. Self esteem and grades follow along naturally. Your friends will notice the change before you do.

my 2 cents, and probably overpriced.
Best wishes for you.

old jim

 

[Fervent Freyja]

How do I overcome my insecurity/procrastination and stick with my plan?

[Edited to make some things more clear.]

I think you're being too hard on yourself here. 2-3 days isn't long enough to be in a procrastination cycle.

How badly do you want to learn it? List the reasons why. You can get through it, but only if you have good reasons to remain motivated. Try to get yourself excited about it! What I do myself is go out and buy used books on a topic I'm interested in! Just by reading your wording, I do sense that you will get through it just fine though. Just keep going!

Are there any math clubs at your school? Finding a group or mentor will help! You can do this, don't give up!

 

[Humanlimits]

Thanks to everyone here for the advice, I appreciate it.

 

[DiracPool]

it's not uncommon, some part of our brain uses the perverse logic 'if i don't try then it won't really be a failure'
Realize that it's self sabotage and really kinda silly.

I remember a time way back when when I was watching an interview with Donald Trump, must have been at least 10 years ago, and he was being questioned about one of the times when he went full belly up bankrupt, and he remembers driving through NYC and seeing a bum on the street and thinking, "this guy has a greater net worth than I do right now." Wah wah. But it was the question that the interviewer asked next that caught my attention. I think it was a she, and she asked, "Well, at that time, did you ever doubt yourself?" And while Trump was preparing to answer, I was thinking that he was going to do the traditional shite where he say's yes, it was one of my darkest moments, but I pulled myself together, yada yada. But that's not what he said. His answer to the question, "Did you ever doubt yourself?" was probably the best answer I could ever imagine there was one to be. It was, "Well, you can't." (doubt yourself) What a perfect answer answer. I've kept that with me all these years.

I really love that. It's so non-linear and politically incorrect and almost shockingly unexpected, but perfectly right in every way. Just take a minute to think about it.

As far as everything or anything else he's said, though...Not too inspiring, and downright ignorant and scary. So, I'm going to embrace that sentiment I like above and cherish it, but I'm going to vote for Hillary Clinton!

 

[Humanlimits]

Haha, that reminds me a while ago I was asked about if I like math since I'm studying it. I replied, "Well, I have to."

 

[Fervent Freyja]

Haha, that reminds me a while ago I was asked about if I like math since I'm studying it. I replied, "Well, I have to."

It's okay, people ask me what I'm studying all the time. Much of the time it isn't even coursework! Some people find it hard to believe that others enjoy studying for fun, and not because it's compulsory. Nothing wrong with you loving it for personal reasons!

 

[jim hardy]

As far as everything or anything else he's[Trump] said, though...Not too inspiring, and downright ignorant and scary...I'm going to vote for Hillary Clinton!

why is that in a 'procrastination / insecurity' thread?

Are you really that unencumbered by doubt?

Eric Hoffer observes

The uncompromising attitude is more indicative of an inner uncertainty than of deep conviction. The implacable stand is directed more against the doubt within than the assailant without.

We all have inner doubts. Well, at least if we ever think about things we do.
Your anecdote tells me Trump doesn't suffer "Hamlet Syndrome", ie he doesn't over-analyze and dither about his insecurities like the irresolute Danish prince..

Anti-intellectualism comes into fashion every few decades and it seems to be back now with a vengeance.

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/08/01/opinion/how-the-stupid-party-created-donald-trump.html
(original article is behind a membership wall at http://www.cfr.org/united-states/stupid-party-created-donald-trump/p38178 )

But by the 1950s, it had become an established shibboleth that the “eggheads” were for Adlai Stevenson and the “boobs” for Dwight D. Eisenhower — a view endorsed by Richard Hofstadter’s 1963 book “Anti-Intellectualism in American Life,” which contrasted Stevenson, “a politician of uncommon mind and style, whose appeal to intellectuals overshadowed anything in recent history,” with Eisenhower — “conventional in mind, relatively inarticulate.” The John F. Kennedy presidency, with its glittering court of Camelot, cemented the impression that it was the Democrats who represented the thinking men and women of America.

Trump knows what sells and it has the intellectuals in quite a tizzy . I guess they're not completely unencumbered by doubt either ?

old jim