Dismiss Notice
Join Physics Forums Today!
The friendliest, high quality science and math community on the planet! Everyone who loves science is here!

How to talk with a deer

  1. May 5, 2006 #1

    Ivan Seeking

    User Avatar
    Staff Emeritus
    Science Advisor
    Gold Member

    As has become the norm since the puppies all got old and died, we have a family of deer living on the property. Lately they have started hanging out just outside my office door, and almost everyday I get an opportunity to approach them and try to get a little closer.

    I had made a good amount of progress by talking very softly while slowly appoaching them, but when within about twenty feet, they get very nervous. So I thought of something that works with dogs and cats: If you want to communicate that everything is okay, close your eyes. So I did, and the SOB attacked me!

    Okay, not really. He immediately began to relax and eat his lunch. Now he is sitting about ten feet from my door. Very cool!
     
  2. jcsd
  3. May 5, 2006 #2

    Pengwuino

    User Avatar
    Gold Member

    Deer have evolved over time to reject the mating calls of humans
     
  4. May 5, 2006 #3
    Well, What are you waiting for? Teach those deer who is on the top of the food chain in the 21st century!
     
  5. May 5, 2006 #4

    Ivan Seeking

    User Avatar
    Staff Emeritus
    Science Advisor
    Gold Member

    :eek: Tsu and I have been talking about taming them and making them house deer. :biggrin:

    I think the one is messing with my office cat. He sits right in front of the cat door. :grumpy:
     
  6. May 5, 2006 #5

    Pengwuino

    User Avatar
    Gold Member

    Teach your cat to box. Don't let him be pushed around like that.
     
  7. May 5, 2006 #6

    Math Is Hard

    User Avatar
    Staff Emeritus
    Science Advisor
    Gold Member

    Dress up like a hibiscus bush, Ivan. They will be all over you.
     
  8. May 5, 2006 #7

    chroot

    User Avatar
    Staff Emeritus
    Science Advisor
    Gold Member

    Wear robes, Ivan. Deer can hear a zipper miles away.

    - Warren
     
  9. May 5, 2006 #8

    Danger

    User Avatar
    Gold Member

    Yeah. They're a lot more skittish than sheep. :grumpy:

    The only proper thing to say to a deer is "Here, lunch. I have a surprise for you."
     
  10. May 5, 2006 #9

    Ivan Seeking

    User Avatar
    Staff Emeritus
    Science Advisor
    Gold Member

    Why do I get the feeling that this thread has taking a terrible turn? :biggrin:
     
  11. May 5, 2006 #10

    Pengwuino

    User Avatar
    Gold Member

    because i started posting in it?
     
  12. May 6, 2006 #11

    Math Is Hard

    User Avatar
    Staff Emeritus
    Science Advisor
    Gold Member

    I have a raccoon who wants to be a house pet. You can have him!

    I'm surprised Tsu didn't take in that little fawn that was coming around.
     
    Last edited: May 6, 2006
  13. May 6, 2006 #12

    wolram

    User Avatar
    Gold Member

    I would have him, i like all wild animmals, (well maybe not a skunk) meercats
    are my favorite i would love to see/be with some of them.
    Ivan, maybe you are to smelly for the deer, they are affraid of every thing
    being at the bottom of the food chain, try having a shower in water only
    and but on water only washed coveralls smeared with some of their muck,
    take any thing shinny off and just sit quiet where they feed, heck you may
    even get a mate :rofl:
     
  14. May 6, 2006 #13
    Once when I was crawling on all fours toward my favorite salt lick a disoriented deer, who I found out later had just downed two white russians, suddenly and recklessly crawled out in in front of me on a perpendicular path. Quaking in terror, I saw a collision was inevitable. Powerless to disobey Newton's First, my 800 lbs of zoobie mass crept toward the hapless, oblivious member of the family Cervidae at a breathtaking half mile an hour, but it all seemed to happen in slow motion, as if time had decelerated as in the climax of some film.

    Just before impact I caught a line of the song he was complacently singing quietly to himself:

    "...it's true when you say 'I love you.' It's a sin.."

    and as I rendered him into so much useless venison I thought, at least I could tell his family he died singing.
     
  15. May 6, 2006 #14

    Astronuc

    User Avatar

    Staff: Mentor

    I wish I had thought of this right off the bat - I am sometimes very slow.

    How to talk with a deer?

    "Shoot first and ask questions later." :devil: :biggrin:
     
  16. May 6, 2006 #15

    Evo

    User Avatar

    Staff: Mentor

    :biggrin: We need to write books and illustrate them zoob. I will quit my job and move into the brush shelter so we can collaborate. :approve: Can I bring my possum Raul?
     
  17. May 6, 2006 #16

    Moonbear

    User Avatar
    Staff Emeritus
    Science Advisor
    Gold Member

    Oh, it's very easy to talk to deer...getting them to stay around and listen is the hard part. *ba dum bum <cymbal>* :biggrin:
     
  18. May 6, 2006 #17

    Ivan Seeking

    User Avatar
    Staff Emeritus
    Science Advisor
    Gold Member

    Deer are like Bush supporters: They only stick around and listen if you say what they want to hear.

    :biggrin:
     
  19. May 6, 2006 #18

    Danger

    User Avatar
    Gold Member

    Especially the ones in the headlights.
     
  20. May 8, 2006 #19
    What's Raul do? Proofread?

    Speaking of the brush shelter, I'm all discombobulated. The zoobie brush landlady called tonight and said she's thinking about selling the zoobie brush shelter west, where I live. She wants me to move to the zoobie brush shelter east and manage it. That's in Flushing/Queens. People talk funny there and they have winter.

    Maybe you could sell your Mercedes and buy the brush shelter when she sells it. Then you'd be the zoobie brush landlady. You could order me to sleep with you or face eviction. I wouldn't resist. I don't want to move. The thought of it makes me dizzy and disoriented. I've lived here twelve years.
     
  21. May 8, 2006 #20
    oh nooooo zoob! Board up the windows..time to hunker down! Ivan must tell his deer to come down there and form a liveing deer barrier, around the shelter!
     
Know someone interested in this topic? Share this thread via Reddit, Google+, Twitter, or Facebook

Have something to add?



Similar Discussions: How to talk with a deer
  1. One Comfey Deer (Replies: 33)

  2. Deer oh deer (Replies: 44)

Loading...