I am not so good at being patient

  • Thread starter kldickson
  • Start date
In summary, the author found it difficult to be patient and deal with people who are not clear about things. He also found it difficult to deal with blatant irrationality.
  • #1
kldickson
106
0
I am not so good at being patient.

I can get frustrated pretty easily when I have to take time for a possibly long-winded and potentially very complex explanation of something that perhaps the person I am talking to is oversimplifying; sometimes, yes, a long explanation is necessary, but it's not the easiest thing to do when you're emotionally wound up.

I can get frustrated when someone's not being too clear about something and they're not explaining it.

I am also not so good at dealing with blatant irrationality.

Now here's the thing: how does one deal with things such as this and, for example, give a person the right amount of pointing-out-precisely-what-is-wrong-with-their-stance and the right amount of, well, patience?
 
Physics news on Phys.org
  • #2


kldickson said:
Now here's the thing: how does one deal with things such as this and, for example, give a person the right amount of pointing-out-precisely-what-is-wrong-with-their-stance and the right amount of, well, patience?
By not getting married. For instance, tonight I wanted to go see the Phils teach the Marlins how to play baseball, but my wife said we're going to see Turandot. Whence all this blatant irrationality muse I. I pointed-out-precisely-what-is-wrong-with-her-stance but she pointed-out-that-she-had-a-rolling-pin-in-her-hand. Turandot it is, but surely I'll fall asleep by the time they get to the aria.
 
Last edited:
  • #3


I'm a very patient person.
 
  • #4


^%#@# Why won't you answer me!
 
  • #5


I was asking a serious question, actually.
 
  • #6


kldickson said:
I was asking a serious question, actually.
I think I see the cause of the problem already. Have you tried avoiding people altogether?
 
Last edited:
  • #7


Doesn't quite work.
 
  • #8


kldickson said:
I am not so good at being patient.

I can get frustrated pretty easily when I have to take time for a possibly long-winded and potentially very complex explanation of something that perhaps the person I am talking to is oversimplifying; sometimes, yes, a long explanation is necessary, but it's not the easiest thing to do when you're emotionally wound up.

I can get frustrated when someone's not being too clear about something and they're not explaining it.

I am also not so good at dealing with blatant irrationality.

Now here's the thing: how does one deal with things such as this and, for example, give a person the right amount of pointing-out-precisely-what-is-wrong-with-their-stance and the right amount of, well, patience?


Oh wow, we'd not be good coworkers, I'm afraid! See I have the opposite problem, I get frustrated with people who make long, drawn-out explanations of simple or obvious things. But I'm referring to work problems (i.e., explaining physical systems). I get the feeling your question is about explaining emotions, is that right?
 
  • #9


Not explaining emotions, exactly. More like managing my own - which are relatively well managed, I think, except for this problem. (It's not as if I'm overtly impatient, as in 'WTF, dude, you must be a total nimrod not to get this' or 'What's keeping you from finishing up, you yutz?' - it's more a sort of grind-my-teeth kind of impatience that tends to come through in little bits and can infrequently result in, er, trading harsh words.)
 
  • #10


My guess is that you care too much. You're so emotionally invested in the outcome of the situation for no legitimate reason (from most people's perspective) that it frustrates you when it doesn't look like it's working how you expected.

Take two chill pills and call me in the morning
 
  • #11


kldickson said:
I am not so good at being patient.

I can get frustrated pretty easily when I have to take time for a possibly long-winded and potentially very complex explanation of something that perhaps the person I am talking to is oversimplifying; sometimes, yes, a long explanation is necessary, but it's not the easiest thing to do when you're emotionally wound up.

I can get frustrated when someone's not being too clear about something and they're not explaining it.

I am also not so good at dealing with blatant irrationality.

Now here's the thing: how does one deal with things such as this and, for example, give a person the right amount of pointing-out-precisely-what-is-wrong-with-their-stance and the right amount of, well, patience?

My mom has quite irrational beliefs (religious) so I think I am very good at dealing with at least irrationality. First, I used to argue but now I just nod in agreement - bearing no interest to what she is saying when she brings those irrational beliefs.

In the long run, I continue to lose my interest in irrational /other people but not the patience.
 
  • #12


I think this is one of the reasons why people say that "ignorance is bliss."

If you become too intelligent and/or knowledgeable then you can't help but start to see all the irrationality in other people's logic.

You can just ignore it and act like you don't care, and in that way become less bothered by it, but it becomes hard to have respect for "regular people" if their thought process seems light years behind your own.

I attended an oral prelim examination today and I had a very hard time keeping my mouth shut as the presenter demonstrated his blatant misunderstanding of many core topics he was presenting about. What am I going to do, insult him in front of everyone? I can't do that...I just have to try and hold my tongue. I wish I didn't have these dilemmas.
 
  • #13


Often it all comes down to a single decision: do you want to be right, or do you want to have friends?

- Warren
 
  • #14


It depends on the relative importance of the two. I would think.
 
  • #15


chroot said:
Often it all comes down to a single decision: do you want to be right, or do you want to have friends?

- Warren

Do you have to accept every single belief/irrationality of a person to keep him/her as your friend?
 
  • #16


junglebeast said:
I attended an oral prelim examination today and I had a very hard time keeping my mouth shut as the presenter demonstrated his blatant misunderstanding of many core topics he was presenting about. What am I going to do, insult him in front of everyone? I can't do that...I just have to try and hold my tongue. I wish I didn't have these dilemmas.

I had listen to this professor for four months who believed there is nothing better than Keynesian and all of the American society is flawed.
 
  • #17


chroot said:
Often it all comes down to a single decision: do you want to be right, or do you want to have friends?

- Warren

I wasn't aware there was a dichotomy.
 
  • #18


rootX said:
I had listen to this professor for four months who believed there is nothing better than Keynesian and all of the American society is flawed.
Very true, more I learn more about this community the more I love my pasto, I am still looking for my pasto back someday soon, very soon.
 
  • #19


kldickson said:
I am not so good at being patient.

I can get frustrated pretty easily when I have to take time for a possibly long-winded and potentially very complex explanation of something that perhaps the person I am talking to is oversimplifying; sometimes, yes, a long explanation is necessary, but it's not the easiest thing to do when you're emotionally wound up.

I can get frustrated when someone's not being too clear about something and they're not explaining it.

I am also not so good at dealing with blatant irrationality.

Now here's the thing: how does one deal with things such as this and, for example, give a person the right amount of pointing-out-precisely-what-is-wrong-with-their-stance and the right amount of, well, patience?

Patience is difficult in many situations. For what it's worth, I've found it gets easier as you get older.

I was not clear on what the problem was in your original post. Was it that you find it difficult to give a long but necessary explanation to someone who is having trouble understanding you, or is it that it is difficult to listen to a long and incoherent explanation that someone is trying to give you? Or maybe both?
 
  • #20


kldickson said:
I wasn't aware there was a dichotomy.

Many times, it is. But, if you are a good leader, you can often be right, lead well, and not alienate everybody. It takes tact and skill, but that's a big part of being a good leader.

One of the most important things is having common, agreed-upon goals. If you all have the same goals, you can pull folks together to work toward them. Having common, high-level goals makes a huge difference in being able to remind people to put small arguments and objections behind them, and focus on what you are all trying to do.

There are also several common techniques for "dealing with difficult people", which are taught in classes on that subject, and are in many books dealing with the subject. One of the best techniques that I've found effective, is when a difficult person says something aggressive and nonsensical, repeat it back to them with a thoughtful tone. Like you are processing what they said. You can add different inflections into your repeat, depending on the situation. And then you ask an intelligent question about what they said -- a probing question that makes them think (or bail and screetch). This works very well in dealing with difficult people. The main caveat is that if they are truly difficult, they may turn violent at some point. You want to exit before you reach that point...
 
  • #21


berkeman said:
One of the best techniques that I've found effective, is when a difficult person says something aggressive and nonsensical, repeat it back to them with a thoughtful tone. Like you are processing what they said. You can add different inflections into your repeat, depending on the situation. And then you ask an intelligent question about what they said -- a probing question that makes them think (or bail and screetch). This works very well in dealing with difficult people. The main caveat is that if they are truly difficult, they may turn violent at some point. You want to exit before you reach that point...

Socrates used a similar technique... right up until they killed him. :biggrin:
 
  • #22


Ivan Seeking said:
Socrates used a similar technique... right up until they killed him. :biggrin:

"I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, who said, I drank what?!"

Quiz Question -- what movie is that from? :biggrin:
 
  • #23


Might the issue be more of tolerance than patience?
 
  • #24


rootX said:
My mom has quite irrational beliefs (religious) so I think I am very good at dealing with at least irrationality. First, I used to argue but now I just nod in agreement - bearing no interest to what she is saying when she brings those irrational beliefs.

In the long run, I continue to lose my interest in irrational /other people but not the patience.

That's easy for religious beliefs, but what if your mom has blatantly wrong medical beliefs? If she seriously thinks that Chinese herbal "medicine" is better than medicine made by legitimate companies and tested with years of clinical trials? Worse, what if she gives her old and dying parents medical advice like "stop taking that medicine"?
 
  • #25


ideasrule said:
That's easy for religious beliefs, but what if your mom has blatantly wrong medical beliefs? If she seriously thinks that Chinese herbal "medicine" is better than medicine made by legitimate companies and tested with years of clinical trials? Worse, what if she gives her old and dying parents medical advice like "stop taking that medicine"?

Oh god this is WAY more common for me. It's amazing how for example, with diet snake oil, people look at their friends who diet and exercise and use the snake oil and think "wow, it must have been the snake oil! I got to try it!" when they actually do lose weight.

Oh of course and then there's my dad who thinks anything natural must be safe to use.

Then there's people who believe Kevin Trudeau.
 
  • #26


please always remember, that "Patient is a virtue"
 
  • #27


I was full of impatience and intolerance for the bigger part of my life. A couple of years ago I felt as if something inside of me started to change, that I didn't care so much about everybody being right and if everything I said was logically coherent. It's easy to think that what people say to each other has very much relevance in itself, rather than acting as a pathway through which socializing takes place.

Try to listen to what people have to say just for the sake of it, imagine being them for awhile and see why they say the things they do.
 
  • #28


laserpointers said:
please always remember, that "Patient is a virtue"

"He who hesitates is lost."

Aren't contradictory platitudes fun?
 

1. Why is patience important in scientific research?

Patience is important in scientific research because it allows for thorough and accurate analysis of data. Rushing through experiments or jumping to conclusions can lead to errors and inaccurate results. Additionally, some experiments and research projects require long periods of time to yield meaningful results, and patience is necessary to see them through.

2. How can I improve my patience as a scientist?

Improving patience takes practice and self-awareness. Some techniques that can help include setting realistic expectations, taking breaks when feeling frustrated, and focusing on the process rather than the end result. Additionally, practicing mindfulness and being aware of your emotions can help you learn to control impatience.

3. Can impatience affect the quality of scientific research?

Yes, impatience can have a negative impact on the quality of scientific research. Hurrying through experiments or analysis can lead to mistakes and inaccurate conclusions. Impatience can also lead to skipping important steps or not thoroughly examining all data, which can affect the validity of the research.

4. How can I deal with impatience while waiting for results?

It can be difficult to wait for results, especially if you're eager to see the outcome of your research. To deal with impatience, try to keep yourself busy with other tasks, talk to colleagues or mentors for support, and focus on the progress you've made rather than the end result. It's also important to keep a positive mindset and remember that good things take time.

5. What are some potential consequences of impatience in the scientific field?

Impatience can have several consequences in the scientific field. It can lead to rushed or incomplete research, which can result in inaccurate findings. Impatience can also cause tension and conflict within research teams, as well as discourage collaboration and open-mindedness. In extreme cases, impatience can even lead to unethical practices in order to achieve desired results quickly.

Similar threads

Replies
1
Views
656
Replies
19
Views
1K
Replies
15
Views
585
  • General Discussion
Replies
17
Views
2K
Replies
15
Views
1K
  • General Discussion
4
Replies
138
Views
9K
Replies
34
Views
2K
  • General Discussion
Replies
24
Views
2K
  • STEM Academic Advising
Replies
7
Views
1K
  • General Discussion
Replies
12
Views
1K
Back
Top