I can get her to be alone with me

  • Thread starter SELFMADE
  • Start date
In summary, the conversation is about a person seeking advice on how to smoothly transition into physical contact with someone they are dating. The conversation takes a turn when others in the conversation mock the person and make derogatory comments about their intentions. The expert summarizer concludes that the person should not try to manipulate or use someone for physical contact, but rather be respectful and considerate of the other person's feelings. They also suggest using protection and not relying on the "pull out" method to avoid unwanted pregnancies.
  • #1
SELFMADE
80
0
ok so I can get her to be alone with me sometimes. what should I be doing next to "seal the deal". hand touching->body embracing->hugging etc? basically what should i do to smoothly transition into physical contact?

when we are watching movies in a theater i just can't extend my arms and grab her, but i want to do that, how do i perform it so it seems natural?
 
Physics news on Phys.org
  • #2
1) Physicists = not the best population to ask this kind of stuff
2) Too much thinking, just chill brah.
3) Don't try to be 'sly' or 'cunning' or something, just look over, smile, hold her hand or something, no biggie.
 
  • #3
You make it sound like you're playing a game rather than dating a real, living girl with thoughts and feelings. :tongue:

If she's interested in physical contact, then she'll be pleased with anything you do, as long as you don't go to far or are pushy about it.

If it's not natural, then it's not natural, and will just become even less natural if you try to artificially make it more natural.
 
  • #4
SELFMADE said:
when we are watching movies in a theater i just can't extend my arms and grab her, but i want to do that, how do i perform it so it seems natural?

You use pectoralis major, latissimus dorsi, and teres major.
 
  • #5
From the sound of your post, and factoring in your other posts, you are probably in the friend-zone.
 
  • #6
It sounds like you should see a psychiatrist before we see you on the evening news.
 
  • #7
:uhh: UHHH...You seem to be "PLOTTING" to try to take advantage of somebody. And, on top of that: are somehow looking for tips on the internet!? :yuck:

Do you really think that's something that would encourage this person to want ANY sort of relationship? That's a lot like being Greg Brady on crack.

And would you honestly say that's a high quality sort of person to aspire to be? Try not to listen to stupid people around you that talk about "sealing deals" ever. They're mostly full of crap themselves; and those that aren't really shouldn't be bragging (#1 because it isn't respectful to the other person; and #2 because it isn't respectful to themselves).

I'm not a Kantian scholar, but I'm sure that the whole notion of this violates the categorical imperative.

NEVER USE SOMEONE.
 
  • #8
FrancisZ said:
:uhh: UHHH...You seem to be "PLOTTING" to try to take advantage of somebody. And, on top of that: are somehow looking for tips on the internet!? :yuck:

He is just trying to get laid :P It's not like he is using anyone. Besides, you ought to try to sleep with any women you like. They'll just believe your a wimp otherwise.

FrancisZ said:
Do you really think that's something that would encourage this person to want ANY sort of relationship?

Who cares ? If you want sex, you ought to try. Philosophy won't get you laid
 
Last edited:
  • #9
Topher925 said:
It sounds like you should see a psychiatrist before we see you on the evening news.
:rofl:
 
  • #10
DanP said:
He is just trying to get laid :P It's not like he is using anyone. Besides, you ought to try to sleep with any women you like. They'll just believe your a wimp otherwise.



Who cares ? If you want sex, you ought to try. Philosophy won't get you laid

What, just rack um', stack um' and pack um' right? That's not what I'm tellin' my son, rather I'd say: "Do not get that girl pregnant boy, you hear me! I mean it's a frickin' waist of time tryin' to tell you to not have sex cus' you won't listen so the next best thing is to wear protection and even that breaks, and then there's the pill thing which has all kinds of side-effects for the girl, and don't ever rely on colitis interruptus cus' that's just don't work. Why? Cus' it feels too good and you won't want to, or just as bad delay it til' it's too late and end up ejuculating inside her. The pregnancy thing is a big problem so don't be tryin' to screw everything in sight cus' it will only increase your chances of havin' a baby."

Yep, he's walking' off completely embarrassed at this point.
 
  • #11
jackmell said:
Yep, he's walking' off completely embarrassed at this point.

Like, he will listen to you :P
 
  • #12
DanP said:
Like, he will listen to you :P

yeah Dan, you raise an interesting point. I have a daughter too. I'd say, "look sweetie, . . . he's thinkin' with his penis ok? It's a sad fact but it's true. That's why a girl needs to learn to take control of the situation and think for him. If you're gonna' do it then make him wear protection and if he pulls that, "oh I'll just pull it out" crap, then that's a deal-breaker. Tell him, no you won't! That's doesn't work! I might as well already be pregnant! I mean who's gonna' buy diapers, and formula, and just how long can you stand to be in a room with a crying baby anyway! Look, just take me home and even if we pass a guys givin' away rubbers, I don't want to do it now!"
 
  • #13
jackmell said:
yeah Dan, you raise an interesting point. I have a daughter too. I'd say, "look sweetie, . . . he's thinkin' with his penis ok? It's a sad fact but it's true. That's why a girl needs to learn to take control of the situation and think for him. If you're gonna' do it then make him wear protection and if he pulls that, "oh I'll just pull it out" crap, then that's a deal-breaker. Tell him, no you won't! That's doesn't work! I might as well already be pregnant! I mean who's gonna' buy diapers, and formula, and just how long can you stand to be in a room with a crying baby anyway! Look, just take me home and even if we pass a guys givin' away rubbers, I don't want to do it now!"

Im not (never was) as scared of pregnancies that I am of STDs. Anyway a good education will minimize the risk of both.
 
  • #14
DanP said:
Im not (never was) as scared of pregnancies that I am of STDs.
Really?? The side effects of pregnancy can last between 18 and 80 years, cost a LOT of money and have just a deleterious effect on your health as an STD...
 
  • #15
DanP said:
Im not (never was) as scared of pregnancies that I am of STDs. Anyway a good education will minimize the risk of both.

Me too! I'm surprised that whenever people mention sex, they worry about a child, when I'm sitting there worrying about an infection. The thought of AIDS just chills me to the bone...

There are many ways to avoid having a baby other than using a condom, but there aren't for STI's. If all else fails, abortion anyone?
 
  • #16
DaveC426913 said:
Really?? The side effects of pregnancy can last between 18 and 80 years, cost a LOT of money and have just a deleterious effect on your health as an STD...

So what ?
 
  • #17
SELFMADE, is this the same girl that had no interest in you as in that last thread? The one that you obsessed over and made really freaking weird, restraining order worthy kind of moves on?

Of course you can get her to be alone with you, but just as friends. Make a move and don't be surprised if you end up watching the rest of the movie in awkward silence.
 
  • #18
Mentallic said:
SELFMADE, is this the same girl that had no interest in you as in that last thread? The one that you obsessed over and made really freaking weird, restraining order worthy kind of moves on?

Of course you can get her to be alone with you, but just as friends. Make a move and don't be surprised if you end up watching the rest of the movie in awkward silence.

Is solicitation worthy of a restraining order ? Its just a business proposal:devil:
 
  • #19
DanP said:
So what ?

:blinks audibly:

So ... why are you so much more concerned about STDs?
 
  • #20
Corrected.
Mentallic said:
Make a move and don't be surprised if you end up watching the rest of the movie wearing an upturned box of popcorn as a hat.
 
  • #21
DaveC426913 said:
:blinks audibly:

So ... why are you so much more concerned about STDs?

Short version: Because I value my skin and my health over everything else in this world :P

Do you want the long version ?
 
  • #22
DanP said:
Short version: Because I value my skin and my health over everything else in this world :P

Do you want the long version ?

As I pointed out, pregnancy can have just as deleterious an effect on your skin and health as an STD.
 
  • #23
DaveC426913 said:
As I pointed out, pregnancy can have just as deleterious an effect on your skin and health as an STD.

You are utterly wrong. You equate money spent for 72 years of child care with health. :P
 
  • #24
SELFMADE said:
ok so I can get her to be alone with me sometimes.

Getting her alone with you is not a necessary condition for making a "move".
 
  • #25
DanP said:
You are utterly wrong. You equate money spent for 72 years of child care with health. :P

Money is only a single element of the consequences of pregnancy (analagously, think of the money you might spend on treatment for an STD). Childcare is going to have a huge impact on the rest of your life, and yes your health.

Yes, I acknowledge that we're talking apples and oranges here, but in the larger picture of what one might want to be cognizant of for the sake of one's own quality of life, and what one might be "afraid" of, you seem to be disregarding the very real consequences on your life of getting pregnant.

Anyway, to each his own. It was not my intention to back you into a corner or make you eat your own words, I just thought it curious that you would seem to regard an infection as so much scarier than the potential dramatic redirection of the rest of your life.
 
  • #26
DaveC426913 said:
Yes, I acknowledge that we're talking apples and oranges here, but in the larger picture of what one might want to be cognizant of for the sake of one's own quality of life, and what one might be "afraid" of, you seem to be disregarding the very real consequences on your life of getting pregnant.

Dave, it's impossible for a male to get pregnant. :tongue2:

DaveC426913 said:
I just thought it curious that you would seem to regard an infection as so much scarier than the potential dramatic redirection of the rest of your life.

The consequences of having a child never scared me. I would adapt.
 
  • #27
DanP said:
He is just trying to get laid :P It's not like he is using anyone.


I beg to differ. Even if she agrees, they're still essentially using each other, even if no harm no foul.


Besides, you ought to try to sleep with any women you like. They'll just believe your a wimp otherwise.


Maybe some; but probably the women that don't have much respect for themselves to begin with. So why should you value their opinion?


Philosophy won't get you laid


That's probably true; but that isn't the point of it. Just trying to be able to look at myself in the mirror.


DanP said:
Anyway a good education will minimize the risk of both.


I agree. Still nothing tops reason and self-control.


Mentallic said:
If all else fails, abortion anyone?


Now that definitely violates the categorical imperative. That's not even for fear of the mother's life; that's just disposing of an "inconvenience." Real classy.


Boy, if this conglomerate advice won't kill the mood, nothing will...

"Hey Baabee! Never mind that Greg Brady-esque arm trick from before. Let's "seal this deal!" What would you say to a non-committal, unprotected "laying;" wherefore, if I...whoopsie...forget to "pull out," we can always then mitigate the long term consequences for both of us, by paying for a small potentially heart wrenching surgery for YOU; while simultaneously snuffing out the life of an otherwise inconveniently timed and proportioned human."

Real douchie.
 
  • #28
FrancisZ said:
I beg to differ. Even if she agrees, they're still essentially using each other, even if no harm no foul.

Oh boy, I am so sorry for each and every time I've been "used". Making sex is nothing to be ashamed off. Old "morale" associating sex out of wedlock with guilt and immoral behaviors
is a hideous thing.


FrancisZ said:
Maybe some; but probably the women that don't have much respect for themselves to begin with. So why should you value their opinion?

And ending with the ones which have tons of self respect. But I agree, you shouldn't care about their opinion. :devil:


FrancisZ said:
That's probably true; but that isn't the point of it. Just trying to be able to look at myself in the mirror.

I am always shining after sex. Its a pleasure to look at myself in the mirror.


FrancisZ said:
I agree. Still nothing tops reason and self-control.

You only live once.


FrancisZ said:
Now that definitely violates the categorical imperative. That's not even for fear of the mother's life; that's just disposing of an "inconvenience." Real classy.

Just a fact of life. SHE must have the liberty to decide what she wants to do in the case of a unwanted pregnancy. Abortion is just another tool. It doesn't violates any imperative. Nor do couples which resort to it.
 
  • #29
:) haha.
ok, whatever is the right thing to do aside. good ways of getting more physical contact between you (that I think are good) are:
1. take her to watch a scary film - and she'll probably start to hide on you in the scary bits, then you can hug her! (but don't hide on her - makes you look wimpy if she's not scared and you are!)
2. take her out in the evening, like dinner or a walk outside, and when she gets cold, put your jacket over her, and if she's still cold, put your arm around her!
see! both are nice things to do - makes you seem caring and nice! and not sleazy/just wanting one thing. just don't go any further unless you are sure she wants you to :)
 
  • #30
DanP said:
Oh boy, I am so sorry for each and every time I've been "used". Making sex is nothing to be ashamed off. Old "morale" associating sex out of wedlock with guilt and immoral behaviors is a hideous thing.


I didn't say anything about being shameful; I just think we have to take the other person's emotional feelings into consideration. They may not complain about it, but this, nonetheless, is the single most intimate thing you can ever share with another person; it isn't to be taken lightly. If the act becomes purely a mechanical and chemical reaction, then what are we but complex machines that can reproduce themselves. It seems less than human without love.



You only live once.

I truly hope that there is but one life for myself; I'm honestly very tired already, sometimes; even at the age of 30. But I don't know what will happen. I don't think anyone knows for certain.

And I don't mean to suggest that you can't have intercourse. It is simply a matter of character. There is much more to the imperative responsibility therein, than simply remembering to be sanitary. We each above an effect on one another. In most instances, just day-to-day, it might be minor; but in the case of intercourse, you are obviously quite intimately affecting your partner (physically and psychologically) in a way that they will never be the same. And hopefully for reason of affection.

People are more fragile than you think.


Just a fact of life. SHE must have the liberty to decide what she wants to do in the case of a unwanted pregnancy.

If it isn't life or death situation to the mother, to that I will simply say that I disagree (there is a third party involved). Even then, I don't wish to ever imagine the horror of having to decide between my own life, my wife's life, or anyone else life, for another. That is truly hell.


Abortion is just another tool. It doesn't violates any imperative. Nor do couples which resort to it.


The categorical imperative is violated whenever you chose to do something that is selfish.
 
  • #31
FrancisZ said:
The categorical imperative is violated whenever you chose to do something that is selfish.

In that case we shouldn't really worry about it
 
  • #32
FrancisZ said:
I didn't say anything about being shameful; I just think we have to take the other person's emotional feelings into consideration. They may not complain about it, but this, nonetheless, is the single most intimate thing you can ever share with another person; it isn't to be taken lightly. If the act becomes purely a mechanical and chemical reaction, then what are we but complex machines that can reproduce themselves. It seems less than human without love.

Francis, but we are biological machines. There is nothing sacred about us, nothing special, nothing to write home about. Some humans have the desire to think that we are something more, that we occupy a privileged place in the creation, but it's just a vain wish with not a single grain of truth in it.

Some ppl think in many different ways about sex. It may be special to you, but to a lot of us there are a great deal of things which are much more intimate than sex.

As for the feelings of the other person, really ... She wants it, I want it. Where is the problem ? You know what, at least one girl hated me a pretty long time because I didn't want to sleep with her :P She got her way eventually, she convinced me to have with her a one night stand like 2 years after the initial events. So much for doing "the right thing". She was hurt and upset for months because I rejected her. Would have been much simple to just give her what she wanted in the first place :P
FrancisZ said:
I truly hope that there is but one life for myself; I'm honestly very tired already, sometimes; even at the age of 30. But I don't know what will happen. I don't think anyone knows for certain.

Age is an attitude. If you are tired, your slowly going down. I personally love life. Honestly, I wouldn't mind to live centuries.

FrancisZ said:
but in the case of intercourse, you are obviously quite intimately affecting your partner (physically and psychologically) in a way that they will never be the same. And hopefully for reason of affection.

I think your dramatizing it a bit.
FrancisZ said:
People are more fragile than you think.

Humans are resilient. Everyday I see a lot of humans with garbageloads of problems and issues, and you know what, they cope. They prevail, they make things happen, they solve problems and most of them don't break to pieces.
FrancisZ said:
If it isn't life or death situation to the mother, to that I will simply say that I disagree (there is a third party involved). Even then, I don't wish to ever imagine the horror of having to decide between my own life, my wife's life, or anyone else life, for another. That is truly hell.

Might be hell for you, for others is a much easier choice. And besides, it;s not like an abortion is deciding between your life , your wife's life and so. This is over-dramatizing again. It;s a safe procedure (as much as any intervention can be safe), and the cases where somebody dies from it in our century are extremely rare.
FrancisZ said:
The categorical imperative is violated whenever you chose to do something that is selfish.

The categorical imperative is devoid of any real value, as its most of philosophy. For all practical purposes, it doesn't exist. It's built on flawed axioms, trying to raise morale to the rank of universal laws, when morale is just an expression of the customs, prejudices and fears of a society at a certain moment in time.

As I said, abortion doesn't violates any imperative. Ultimately, you have to recognize the right of a women to dispose of her body as she does see fit. Church has tried for centuries to rob them of this right. We really don't need philosophizers to try and do the same thing.
 
Last edited:
  • #33
DanP said:
Francis, but we are biological machines.

Perhaps that, and nothing more. And I am even willing to accept that; but I don't think we know enough yet to make that assertion.
There is nothing sacred about us, nothing special, nothing to write home about. Some humans have the desire to think that we are something more, that we occupy a privileged place in the creation, but it's just a vain wish with not a single grain of truth in it.
Correction: we are lucky, because even if there is no after life, and there was no point to our existence, we still had the capacity to understand that.
Some ppl think in many different ways about sex. It may be special to you, but to a lot of us there are a great deal of things which are much more intimate than sex.
Such as?
As for the feelings of the other person, really ... She wants it, I want it. Where is the problem?

There isn't a problem really, unless you are being inconsiderate of the other person.
You know what, at least one girl hated me a pretty long time because I didn't want to sleep with her :P

Well then she's obviously not an adult; that's kind of bratty.
She got her way eventually, she convinced me to have with her a one night stand like 2 years after the initial events. So much for doing "the right thing". She was hurt and upset for months because I rejected her. Would have been much simple to just give her what she wanted in the first place :P

Geez, don't do her any favors (being sarcastic). Again, I wouldn't call this person "all there" to begin with; no disrespect to you.
Age is an attitude. If you are tired, your slowly going down. I personally love life. Honestly, I wouldn't mind to live centuries.
I agree; and I can respect that.
I think your dramatizing it a bit.

No, I'm just trying to take things seriously.

Humans are resilient. Everyday I see a lot of humans with garbageloads of problems and issues, and you know what, they cope. They prevail, they make things happen, they solve problems and most of them don't break to pieces.
But that doesn't excuse us to be a "Bull in a China Shop," in handling them either.
Might be hell for you, for others is a much easier choice.

Then perhaps they haven't dwelt upon it as much.
And besides, it;s not like an abortion is deciding between your life , your wife's life and so. This is over-dramatizing again. It;s a safe procedure (as much as any intervention can be safe), and the cases where somebody dies from it in our century are extremely rare.
I'm not critiquing the procedure. I'm talking about a situation in which a person is presented with complications--meaning the mother would die in regular childbirth. I'm just saying that I would never want to have to decide between my wife and my child; or worse, if I were a mother, to have to decide between myself and my child, in order to live.
The categorical imperative is devoid of any real value, as its most of philosophy. For all practical purposes, it doesn't exist. It's built on flawed axioms, trying to raise morale to the rank of universal laws, when morale is just an expression of the customs, prejudices and fears of a society at a certain moment in time.
That's fine, I agree, to say that a human construct--such as a particular philosophy--is flawed, or potentially flawed. But we humans also created civilization; and we also abide by certain rules while we are here (unless of course we'd prefer accusations of insanity or criminal behavior, decided upon by the part of the majority). We play the game; we participate in the illusion. We perpetuate it even, because (for now at least) it is all that we have.

That having been said, I should think we'd each (as members of civilization) always aim to perfect our society (even if we are doomed to failure). We still try harder. And that is the point of philosophy or religious philosophy.
As I said, abortion doesn't violates any imperative. Ultimately, you have to recognize the right of a women to dispose of her body as she does see fit.
But that should never serve as a convenient excuse for a man to shirk his responsibility either.
Church has tried for centuries to rob them of this right. We really don't need philosophizers to try and do the same thing.
The Catholic Church, without a doubt, has major issues; it's a human construct as well, after all. But the perspective, in this case at least, is not about simple domination of the free will (as so many people conveniently portray it); it is about making judgments that are the most gentle and least obstructive to living things.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
  • #34
FrancisZ said:
Such as?

A great deal of things. Basically almost everything which belongs to my private life. Sleeping with someone can be simply done just for fun, you don't even need to know her family name, it can just happen, it can mean nothing for either of you. J

FrancisZ said:
There isn't a problem really, unless you are being inconsiderate of the other person.

Then we agree that none is using anyone ?
FrancisZ said:
Well then she's obviously not an adult; that's kind of bratty.

DO you know her ? :P Not everyone which do not fit your pattern of "maturity" is lacking the "all there".

FrancisZ said:
Then perhaps they haven't dwelt upon it as much.

Dwelling on things (especially on things which have not come to pass yet, but you fear they will ) too much breeds depression IMO. Britons have a saying: " we will see how to cross the bridge when we come to it". Its wise IMO.
 
  • #35
DanP said:
A great deal of things. Basically almost everything which belongs to my private life.

Again: such as?
Sleeping with someone can be simply done just for fun, you don't even need to know her family name, it can just happen, it can mean nothing for either of you.
Is that respectable--you don't even know her name? :confused:
Then we agree that none is using anyone?
No, you're still using each other; it's just that, potentially, neither of you actually cares.
DO you know her? :P Not everyone which do not fit your pattern of "maturity" is lacking the "all there".
Can't say that I do; but getting angry with you for not having a sexual relationship with her, sounds remarkable crazy, or otherwise totally contrived.
Dwelling on things (especially on things which have not come to pass yet...

But that sort of thing does happen, all of the time; just hasn't to me (gratefully). I'm sure it's no picnic.
 
<h2>What does "I can get her to be alone with me" mean?</h2><p>"I can get her to be alone with me" means that the speaker believes they have the ability to convince or manipulate someone to spend time alone with them.</p><h2>Why would someone want to be alone with someone else?</h2><p>There are many reasons why someone might want to be alone with someone else. It could be for romantic or sexual purposes, to have a private conversation, to get to know someone better, or to spend quality time together.</p><h2>Is it ethical to try to get someone to be alone with you?</h2><p>It depends on the context and the intentions of the person trying to get someone to be alone with them. If it is done through manipulation or coercion, it is not ethical. However, if both parties are consenting and have mutual respect for each other, it can be considered ethical.</p><h2>How can someone get someone else to be alone with them?</h2><p>There is no one answer to this question as it depends on the individual and the situation. Some common ways that people may try to get someone to be alone with them include asking them directly, using flattery or charm, or creating a situation where they are the only option for company.</p><h2>What are some potential risks of being alone with someone?</h2><p>Being alone with someone can potentially put you in a vulnerable position, especially if you do not know them well. It is important to trust your instincts and prioritize your safety when deciding to be alone with someone. It is also important to communicate boundaries and make sure both parties are comfortable with the situation.</p>

What does "I can get her to be alone with me" mean?

"I can get her to be alone with me" means that the speaker believes they have the ability to convince or manipulate someone to spend time alone with them.

Why would someone want to be alone with someone else?

There are many reasons why someone might want to be alone with someone else. It could be for romantic or sexual purposes, to have a private conversation, to get to know someone better, or to spend quality time together.

Is it ethical to try to get someone to be alone with you?

It depends on the context and the intentions of the person trying to get someone to be alone with them. If it is done through manipulation or coercion, it is not ethical. However, if both parties are consenting and have mutual respect for each other, it can be considered ethical.

How can someone get someone else to be alone with them?

There is no one answer to this question as it depends on the individual and the situation. Some common ways that people may try to get someone to be alone with them include asking them directly, using flattery or charm, or creating a situation where they are the only option for company.

What are some potential risks of being alone with someone?

Being alone with someone can potentially put you in a vulnerable position, especially if you do not know them well. It is important to trust your instincts and prioritize your safety when deciding to be alone with someone. It is also important to communicate boundaries and make sure both parties are comfortable with the situation.

Similar threads

Replies
6
Views
954
  • General Discussion
Replies
10
Views
778
Replies
19
Views
1K
  • General Discussion
Replies
6
Views
1K
Replies
15
Views
2K
  • General Discussion
Replies
10
Views
6K
Replies
15
Views
1K
Replies
60
Views
47K
Replies
37
Views
10K
  • General Discussion
Replies
11
Views
5K
Back
Top