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I don't get Santa.

  1. Dec 2, 2005 #1
    Why do kids get so excited about some fat old guy emptying his sack in their stockings?

    Confusing holidays, glad I switched to Flying Spaghetti Monster-ism.

    Come join us. >_>
     
  2. jcsd
  3. Dec 2, 2005 #2
    Your not gonna get anything form Santa...unless you change your tune!
     
  4. Dec 2, 2005 #3

    Math Is Hard

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    So I can get spaghetti and meatballs in my stocking?? Hell, no!
     
  5. Dec 2, 2005 #4
    Why not,his already smell like Parmesean.
     
  6. Dec 2, 2005 #5

    BobG

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    Well, now we all know what your Christmas list looks like:

     
  7. Dec 2, 2005 #6

    russ_watters

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    Try a bear trap with a plate of cookies and a glass of milk in the middle...
     
  8. Dec 2, 2005 #7
    I think kids like some old fat guy delivering persents then some weird flying spaghetti monster giving them spaghetti and meatballs.
     
  9. Dec 2, 2005 #8
    After seeing this, I can't resist:
    [​IMG]
     
  10. Dec 2, 2005 #9
    Santa was invented by Coca Cola anyways.
     
  11. Dec 3, 2005 #10

    Mk

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    Sinterklaus was actually a bearded women in a Nederlands carnival freakshow. Coca Cola company saw her, shaved her, dressed her up, and said drinkers would get little surprises, and Pepsi drinkers wouldn't. However she had five o'clock shadow...
     
  12. Dec 3, 2005 #11

    SpaceTiger

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    Interesting historical falsoid:

    Santa was originally invented to scare kids into being good while they were cooped up in the house during the winter months. Santa's obesity was actually his weapon, since parents would tell their kids, "You better be good or else Santa's gonna come and sit on you." Desperate to fix his child's behavioral problems, one overzealous parent actually donned a santa costume and acted this out on his son. Unfortunately, the parent was quite ill at the time, suffering from frequent diarrhea, and the routine didn't go exactly as planned. One of their neighbors, who happened upon the pair mid-straddle, exclaimed to the boy, "Uh oh, it looks like Santa left you a present!" The rest is, as they say, history.
     
  13. Dec 3, 2005 #12
    I must say, that gave me quite a disturbing mental image...
     
  14. Dec 3, 2005 #13

    matthyaouw

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    Woo, unsubstanciated urban myth!
     
  15. Dec 3, 2005 #14

    Moonbear

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    :yuck: :rofl: :yuck: :rofl: I see you're starting the campaign early for next year's funniest member award! :rofl: That's just...just...so disturbing. :bugeye: :yuck:
     
  16. Dec 3, 2005 #15

    SpaceTiger

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    Yeah, at 3 AM, my mind starts to go. By 4 AM, I've usually concocted a plan to market a cancer-causing food product solely on its carcinogenic properties. Come 5 AM, if I'm not already asleep, the neighbors usually have to get out their cardboard mock-up of Frodo Baggins to lure me into a holding pen down the street.

    Last night was a Frodo night.
     
  17. Dec 3, 2005 #16

    Danger

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    I think that there should be a webcam in that pen. We could sell you to the comedy channel. (Or Ripley's...)
     
  18. Dec 3, 2005 #17

    SpaceTiger

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    Or the playboy ch....er, yeah, what you said.
     
  19. Dec 3, 2005 #18
    Someone should start a reilgon where it belvies that the unvirse was created when god sneezed and got snot all over his face and then the unvirse will be destroyed when, god realizes that it's weird to have people that live on your face,he go get's a tissue and they belive that the executives who manunfacture tissue and toilet paper or evil.:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
     
  20. Dec 3, 2005 #19

    honestrosewater

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    Well, you guys had better decide soon. I already have 68 subscribers on the waiting list, and they're getting restless...
     
  21. Dec 3, 2005 #20

    Danger

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    68, huh? And just how do you explain that they all have the same address? Something about a willow...
     
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