I finally got it. I finally know what women is thinking!

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Perfect your come-hither look. Tilt your head slightly down and to the side, then look up from under your lashes and smile. This pose shows guys it's okay to approach.

http://magazines.ivillage.com/cosmopolitan/sex/no/articles/0,,426367_699012-1,00.html [Broken]


Previously, i don t "understand" why so many women do this in front of me, and now, i do! So when woman does this behavior, she is actually into a guy! I always thought this was some weird thing women do. Just like women tend to be more socialable, and emotional.
 
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  • #2
radou
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Well, since it contains a smile, it was not hard to conclude that it's a green light. :biggrin:
 
  • #3
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I hate all this stupid understand-my-indirect-expressions/gestures crap. All this pretending and trying, and silent messages, and expectations. I absolutely hate this.
 
  • #4
radou
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I hate all this stupid understand-my-indirect-expressions/gestures crap. All this pretending and trying, and silent messages, and expectations. I absolutely hate this.

Yes, sometimese these 'games' can get too far. But that depends on the person playing.
 
  • #5
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Finally, women know the secret to picking up men :rolleyes:
 
  • #6
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Finally, women know the secret to picking up men :rolleyes:

I thought it was "Lift with the knees, not with the back".
 
  • #7
turbo
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I thought it was "Lift with the knees, not with the back".
AND keep the load close to your body. :tongue2:
 
  • #8
Previously, i don t "understand" why so many women do this in front of me, and now, i do! So when woman does this behavior, she is actually into a guy! I always thought this was some weird thing women do. Just like women tend to be more socialable, and emotional.

Guess again: a lot of them are just doing it to see if they can get a reaction. In my recent experience, the only women who use such a look are married. (I'm a good deal older than most here.)
 
  • #9
Moonbear
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I thought it was "Lift with the knees, not with the back".

And much more effective than trying to flutter your eyelashes at them...afterall, we know it's the men who got all the nice long eyelashes. :biggrin:

And, t_e, just because they're married doesn't mean they weren't interested. :wink: You probably just waited too long and their husband had returned to the room before you got a chance to explore it further. :tongue: I can't help you if it's only married women who are finding you attractive. :rofl:

I do find it amusing that the guys here complain about women not just being more direct, yet it's not like they just went up and told the woman they were interested either. If you're sitting around waiting to figure out if we're interested and trying to subtley gain our attention before approaching us, why are you complaining if we're doing the same? :uhh:
 
  • #10
I do find it amusing that the guys here complain about women not just being more direct, yet it's not like they just went up and told the woman they were interested either.

Pop quiz: as a matter of reality, not as a matter of ideals, whqt would you say the ratio of first advances made by men as opposed to women is?

I've no hard statistics, but it'd be interesting to hear your answer. Disregarding the "clear and obvious signs" (a claim immediately discredited in that same thread by all the other women's tales of misread signals, I might point out), I'd put the number well north of 10:1.

Yes, there are exceptions. No, the exceptions don't matter. Even if the exceptions were to wear signs proclaiming thier status, the non-exceptions would immediately start wearing them, too.

I'd also like to point out that generalizations are useful. Some people find them evil by nature. But I do not typically carry hatpin with me for the purpose of jabbing everyone I chance to talk to. While there is doubtless some some fraction of the population who would be absolutely thrilled by the experience, in general the results would be highly counterproductive.
 
  • #11
Moonbear
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Pop quiz: as a matter of reality, not as a matter of ideals, whqt would you say the ratio of first advances made by men as opposed to women is?

I've no hard statistics, but it'd be interesting to hear your answer. Disregarding the "clear and obvious signs" (a claim immediately discredited in that same thread by all the other women's tales of misread signals, I might point out), I'd put the number well north of 10:1.

Honestly, I think your ratio is reversed. It's a little hard to say, because there are those men that think they are God's gift to women who will hit on anything that moves and are more noticeable (though not in a good way), but generally, men seem to stand around shuffling their feet until the woman finally walks up to them and initiates interaction. Ask people in long-term relationships (married or not) who initiated the relationship, and quite a lot of them will tell you it was the woman. Just read the "Girl Trouble" thread. Some of those women have all but clubbed the guy over the head and dragged them off, yet they're still sitting around pondering, "Does she like me?"

It doesn't get any more clear and obvious than "If you buy me a Teddy Ruxpin, I'll love you forever." :wink: :biggrin:

Edit:
I was looking to see if I could find any actual poll results to answer the question. Haven't, but instead found this wiki book. :rofl:
http://en.wikibooks.org/wiki/Relationships/How_Men_Select_Women

It says:
For beautiful young women, the problem is sorting the wheat from the chaff. Finding a quality mate is no easier for them than for anyone else. They spend as much effort rejecting the wrong men as others spend finding men.
(Another problem is that a woman's power over men vanishes when a younger, more beautiful woman walks into the room.)
In the animal world, females initiate 80% of matings (see Flirting). Males who initiate mating are the males that no female will approach. Men who approach women pick young, beautiful women. Q.E.D., beautiful young women meet more than their share of losers.

Well, it jives with my view that the only guys who seem ask women out are the losers, but keep a firm grip on your sense of humor while reading. It does address a lot of stereotypes.
 
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  • #12
I'm not sure animal studies are really relevant in this context. Remember, I am restricting this to reality: to what is, not what should be.

I am also not referring to all the "clear and obvious signs" featured in that other discussion. I am referring to concrete, unambiguous actions, such as asking for a date.

I don't know what country you're living in (and I do hear it is different overseas), but the one I'm in, if a guy never asks, he never gets a date, not one (well, perhaps two or three over the course of a lifetime, hardly a significant number).

How does this work? By not asking for a date up-front, the guy becomes "a friend". As written all over the place in various advice columns, friends almost by definition do not date friends. It is almost impossible to convert the one form of interaction into the other.
 
  • #13
Moonbear
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I told you to keep your sense of humor intact when reading that article! :tongue:

How does this work? By not asking for a date up-front, the guy becomes "a friend". As written all over the place in various advice columns, friends almost by definition do not date friends. It is almost impossible to convert the one form of interaction into the other.

I disagree entirely. Every guy I've seriously dated (as opposed to just going out for dinner or drinks and then never talking to him again because we had nothing in common) started out as a friend first. Actually, just running through a list of married friends in my mind, they all started out as friends first too. The only examples I can think of where people got married when they met as total strangers and started dating that way are two cousins who are both divorced.

So, again, I think it depends on what you're trying to get out of going on dates. If you're just looking for quantity, guys asking out women works better than not asking. But, if you're looking for quality, you need to develop friendships first, and then the woman is the one who usually progresses that friendship to a dating relationship.
 
  • #14
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The only examples I can think of where people got married when they met as total strangers and started dating that way are two cousins who are both divorced.

You'd think they wouldn't have been total strangers seeing as they were cousins and all.:tongue2:
 
  • #15
Moonbear
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You'd think they wouldn't have been total strangers seeing as they were cousins and all.:tongue2:

:rofl: Two cousins of mine (they are actually twins) and their respective ex-husbands. One of them met her ex on a plane...talk about an unusual place to ask someone out. I think she only went out with him initially because she was surprised to be asked on a plane (and he is a very good looking guy, but turned out to be a control freak). Both of my cousins will admit now that they were just more interested in the idea of getting married rather than who it was they were getting married to, so settled for the first guys who asked, which does not a lasting marriage make. :wink:
 
  • #16
DaveC426913
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I thought it was "Lift with the knees, not with the back".
:rofl: :rofl: Curse you MiH. I actually sprayed my screen with my drink.
 
  • #17
DaveC426913
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I hate all this stupid understand-my-indirect-expressions/gestures crap. All this pretending and trying, and silent messages, and expectations. I absolutely hate this.
Yes. Apples is to be commended for his tactic of approaching women without bothering with such useless details as whether they're smiling at him, or even looking in his direction. Girls love to be ambushed. :tongue2:
 
  • #18
GCT
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Women and men are no different when it comes to life strategies, the notion that certain behavioral signals from women mean complete attraction/repulsion is hogwash; although such "rules" may constitute a game, the actual result is the direct brainwashing of the "man" and the fun ultimately belongs to the "woman." The key here is fun, it's all fun, as in one big joke. Men have their way of having fun and so do women, it's just that with women, it's more disclosed and not explicit. A woman can implicate freely, however, she can say "I don't know what you're referring to" at any point. Manipulation is fun, the simple fact is that women are able to control a man's mind (most of them being morons) for real.
 
  • #19
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:rofl: :rofl: Curse you MiH. I actually sprayed my screen with my drink.

Sorry. :redface: We have different ideas about courtship where I come from. :smile:
 
  • #20
Moonbear
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Sorry. :redface: We have different ideas about courtship where I come from. :smile:

It must be the cat face confusing him. :biggrin:
 
  • #21
JasonRox
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I hate all this stupid understand-my-indirect-expressions/gestures crap. All this pretending and trying, and silent messages, and expectations. I absolutely hate this.

What the hell are you talking about?!

Guys do the same stuff.

Plus, once you hang out with girls, you get to know them very well, and you see that everything is obvious. Like, I can tell if a girl is interested a lot easier than I use to.

Basically, the reasons why guys seem so straight forward to you is because you know them. Once you know girls (WHICH HAPPENS BY TALKING TO THEM AND NOT READING ABOUT THEM), you will see that everything is just as straight forward similarly to guys.

In fact, I believe girls communicate a lot better with guys than guys with girls. I can tell when a girl wants a guy much easier than a guy wants a girl. My good friend also agrees. We find it very frustrating now when we hear guys complaining because it's so freaking obvious, but the majority of guys seem to lack a lot of social skills and can't figure it out. They think they got social skills, but really they don't. Their social skills seem to usually be basic and only among friends, and guys. That's why there exists guys who pick up girls easily and such. It is because they have better social skills with girls. They are sometimes called "players" because some girls get treated badly by them, and most guys are jealous of them. In fact, I met "players" who respect girls a lot more than the average guy. For this reason, their success is even higher because girls see the respect and value. Unfortunately, the average guy does not see it. Lame.

Anyways, I'll end it here.

Conclusion: Guys need to wake up and smell the damn freaking coffee. Girls are so obvious these days, and the guys are getting worse in my opinion.

Note: I meet guys that are so terrible in social skills that I can communicate sexual signals to their girlfriend while she's sitting next to him and I'm talking to HIM! That's pretty bad. I call them guys "plugs".

Note: I have a girlfriend, so I'm not a player or anything. She is aware of the fact that girls get interested in me though. I'm not afraid to share it with her.

Note: I'm not that good at picking up girls either but I know I can if I wanted to. Lots of guys are WAY better than me, but it's just that I'm not as naive and stupid as I used to be. Thanks, to a good friend.

Last Note: For a guy with a hearing aid, I get very attractive girls interested in me. I can't really share that with my girlfriend though :approve: although my girlfriend very attractive too. :biggrin:
 
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  • #22
JasonRox
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I don't know what country you're living in (and I do hear it is different overseas), but the one I'm in, if a guy never asks, he never gets a date, not one (well, perhaps two or three over the course of a lifetime, hardly a significant number).

You have to be kidding me!

In the past term alone, I got asked out (definitely not the first) and atleast half a dozen of invites to hang out with them. So, hang outs are different, but they know I have a girlfriend. They ask anyways, for obvious reasons (maybe wouldn't be obvious for other males, sadly). I wouldn't be surprised if they start asking me about hanging out again when the next term begins.

I'm guessing you live overseas from me. I'm from North America.

Note: See my previous post.
 
  • #23
DaveC426913
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Once you know girls (WHICH HAPPENS BY TALKING TO THEM AND NOT READING ABOUT THEM)
Oooooohhhh SNAP!

:rofl:
 
  • #24
Once you know girls (WHICH HAPPENS BY TALKING TO THEM AND NOT READING ABOUT THEM), you will see that everything is just as straight forward similarly to guys.

You mean, like hanging out in your sister's dorm room at least twice a week for an entire year and listening to them talk among themselves?

I went to the same school she did. I went through precisely that exercise.

You should try it. They talk very differently among themselves.
 
  • #25
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I have to completely agree with Jason (sure sign the world is coming to an end).:biggrin:

In my day, back when the Earth was still cooling, my mother used to scream at me, "Don't you call that boy! He'll call you if he's interested."
Then many years later my brothers went to high school and the chickies called the house non-stop. Mom was floored!

Not too long ago my sister's boyfriend broke up with her (she's in high school) and she didn't have a date for an upcoming dance. Mom told her, "What's wrong with you? Get on the phone and call some boys!!"

ha ha :rofl: Times have really changed.
 

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