Messing Up Bad: Dealing with a 25-Year-Old Acting Like a Little Girl

  • Thread starter SELFMADE
  • Start date
In summary: FB. omg.In summary, the conversation is about a man who has been talking to a girl for over 3 months and has started to express his love for her. However, she has told him she will never be with him and he has continued to buy her drinks and lend her money. When he finally tells her how he feels, she gets upset and talks about how she misses her female friend. He demands his money back and she says she doesn't have it. He then suggests she give him other things instead and she gets angry. She eventually agrees to give him the money back by Sunday. The man is upset that she deleted him off her Facebook friendslist. The summary concludes
  • #1
SELFMADE
80
0
Ok I have been talking with this girl for over 3 months now. Lately I've started to tell her I love her etc. Because I felt like I do love her. She tells me she'll never be with me. I always buy her drink when we're out, pay for the movies etc and I even lent her money $1400 to be exact. But she wouldn't even touch me! So few days ago I txted her how much I love her. She says "if you have feelings for me just keep it inside, tired of hearing it" that really hurt me. Then she proceeds to talk about how she misses her female friend, that made me feel bad. Why does she have to talk like this when she's with me? She says she has so much fun with her. At that moment I've had it. She tried to drink my water I said "mmm... okay.. go ahead" She's like "just give it to me" I said "why u acting like my girlfriend" then she got mad. After she txts me "there are things in the world you cannot get by force, u should understand that, and even if the world was about to end I won't be with u" I replied "its fine. there are plenty of fish in the water."

I started demanding my money the very same night. She says she ain't got it. I demanded again last night she said she ain't got it. Then I said "you can give me other stuff" she's like "what" I said "you know, u could be working on your debt right now instead of just sitting around" she says "omg I can't believe" "it'll be just between u and me, i'll pay you more than your work" "are you actually asking me to sell my body?" "think whatever you like, I didn't say that" "you won't say it cus you're a coward" "hey I only wanted my money" "alright I'll give it to you this week" "by sunday" "yeah by sunday!"

She is 25 years old, don't know why she's acting llike a little girl.

lol

is it bad or really really bad?
 
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  • #2
Finally, jebus on a pogo stick, someone grew a pair
 
  • #3
She deleted me off of her Facebook friendslist.

Life = over ?
 
  • #4
You were used.

</thread>
 
  • #5
SELFMADE said:
She deleted me off of her Facebook friendslist.

Life = over ?

F her. First of all this is your fault, after all you allowed yourself to be friendzoned, and acted like a wimp. But besides that, you made a mistake by telling her how you felt
 
  • #6
She played you like a piano.
 
  • #7
Unfortunately you were used, and you probably won't get that money back. So hopefully you can take this as a life lesson on never loaning money to people.
 
  • #8
Is this thread for real? If so, you have some serious issues.
 
  • #9
Gotta' agree with Pengwuino. That's a real problem what you described and is quite disturbing to read. you handled it inappropriately. The first time she said she'll never be with you is when you should have terminated it immediately. you should not have loaned her money. Do not ever loan any girl any money again. you need to accept she's just not into you. It's terrible to "bribe" a girl for sex or force or intimidate her or get her drunk so she gives you sex. Always in the future wait till she makes the move (sober) that she's ready for sex. The best advice I can give you is to tell her forget about the money, stop contacting her, and drop the entire situation before it gets out of hand.
 
  • #10
You guys can read the whole story over here:
http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/62/bbv4life/just-fell-out-friendzone-774937/

Well I still think I love her. She's a good girl actually. She said she's going to give me the money so I'll take my money and stop contacting her I guess. She'll probably going to end up giving me her rent money. If that is the case, I will have no choice but to renew her loan: don't want to make her go homeless.
 
  • #11
[ ] you're getting your money back
[ ] cool story, bro
[x] ban OP
 
  • #12
It was 1500 before she gave back 100 already so I think she's kinda person that would want to try hard to pay back. She even seemed adamant about paying it off last night. She said by Sunday so lol honestly I really don't know. She even might end up sleeping with me. Its good **** deal you know. $100/hr. People should be flattered instead of being insulted by such propositions.
 
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  • #13
If she does offer you the money she was going to use to pay her rent, take it. Render her homeless. If she doesn't offer it to you, threaten to break her kneecaps, it's the only way.

(I wish this forum were more like BBV over at 2+2 sometimes...)
 
  • #14
Don't think I'll be able to let her go homeless. But she's kinda girl that will offer to be in that situation. She'll think she's punishing me by getting hurt/ and not talking to be. hahahaha but in reality it does punish me. :(

I can't believe she deleted me off FB, hurts like hell to know she's ditching me even as an acquaintance!
 
  • #15
SELFMADE said:
You guys can read the whole story over here:
http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/62/bbv4life/just-fell-out-friendzone-774937/

stop contacting her I guess

Didn't read the whole story but I think the leaving her alone part is a very good idea. Some guys you know can't do that. It turns really bad sometimes. Really bad. you need to go our of your way to make sure you're not one of those guys. Just let her go and look for someone else.
 
  • #16
just when i thought i was having woman troubles, this thread is here to boost my confidence. way to go, OP, you just made me realize i could be worse. ...i could be you. grow a pair.
 
  • #17
its been 24hrs since she last talked with me. i can't take this. she blocked me off her FB. hates me now. but i love her so much. she's genuinely good person. i could have been smoking and watching movies with her and see her smile, god i want her smile so much! my life is **** up i know. but i love her so much i just can't take her hating me, not talking to me. i can't go on like this. i found my sunshine in her, now that she's gone i can't i just can't do anything else. i don't know what to do, i can't be like this, i can't forget her.
 
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  • #18
You demanded sexual favors in exchange for money from her.

Game over. You lost.
 
  • #19
Maybe there are some magic words I can say to her right now and fix this. I could have been with her right now! even though she won't touch me I could have still been with her!
 
  • #20
SELFMADE said:
Maybe there are some magic words I can say to her right now and fix this. I could have been with her right now! even though she won't touch me I could have still been with her!

Perhaps you should ask 4chan for advice. The "random" board over there is great at sorting out woman issues.
 
  • #21
SELFMADE said:
Maybe there are some magic words I can say to her right now and fix this. I could have been with her right now! even though she won't touch me I could have still been with her!

Listen to Pengwuino. He has good, wise advice.

Pengwuino said:
You demanded sexual favors in exchange for money from her.

Game over. You lost.
 
  • #22
Have a drink. Watch some internet porn and you'll be right as rain in no time. Seriously, she is not worth the headache. Even if you think she is. I know it's easy for us to say this stuff and it's hard for you to hear it now. I know how awful it is when you're in it. But take the advice given to you here and distance yourself from her. Fort both your good.
 
  • #23
SELFMADE, listen very carefully. No apologies, no shame, no contact with her. Its over, move on. You do NOT "love her". You are infatuated with the idea of being with her, but you don't know this turd. 3 months talking, and no physical contact of any sort is not 'knowing' someone. Please do yourself a favor and rise above this, we've all been there (minus the offering money for sex part), and trust me, you'll find someone better.
 
  • #24
Saladsamurai said:
Seriously, she is not worth the headache.

cronxeh said:
and trust me, you'll find someone better.

You know, guys, there's absolutely no reason to disparage the young lady in question. This young fellow has told us his side of the story, words of hers (that she may or may not have even said) out of context. The only character we are certain of, here, concretely, is his. So no need to put her down.

Advice to Selfmade remains the same, though, and the parts about him being infatuated and the situation being essentially toxic to them both are points he really ought to listen to. There are more fish in the sea. And one day, not long from now, if he gives himself a bit of time and some distance from this particular young lady, he won't even recall what the infatuation was all about. For his sake and hers, though, it really ought to stop. Immediately.
 
  • #25
Ok its been two days of no contact. I really appreciate the seriousness of the advices. I get the message. I am not doing this for the attention; I just don't have no one else to consult and I am having deep second thoughts. Some part of me really want to communicate that I am sorry for what I proposed and I just want what we had: just the friendship. She's really a good person. She's having a tough time right now and I am really ashamed to be becoming extra burden on her. She's trying to get into a grad school by herself. One of her dreams is to open a school for children. She used to say her childhood was stolen, her parents weren't with her when she was young and now she doesn't want to be with them because of that. Really stupid of me to demand from someone like her to sell herself. I didn't have much of a childhood myself, maybe that is why I do such stupid ****, maybe that is why she resonates with me. Now I just wish we would be just friends again. She needs so much help! But she never asks for anything. She's just a little doll trying to make it in this world. God, what have I done. I just can't act like a monster and not talk to anymore! I am not a monster.

Is it really bad for me to apologize for what I proposed? She used to say my apologies are good as nothing to her and that I always backtrace, not to mention that I am a coward.

I just want the friendship back, nothing more.
 
  • #26
Its so hot out and she hates heat. She has to go to work during afternoons when its scorching. When she gets on a bus sweaty with AC turned on she can get sick. I used to give her rides to work. I had nothing better to do. I don't have nothing better to do right now! I wish I could still give her rides when she needs em most. She's moving in Oct and I won't be able to do it then. She never goes shopping I wanted to take her some place but never had the opportunity. Only if I could take her and spend little that I got, I would do it only for her smile.
 
  • #27
GeorginaS said:
You know, guys, there's absolutely no reason to disparage the young lady in question.
Sure there is. He is here for assurance that his life will recover. Everyone is counselling him to make her smaller in his life; that is what is best for him. There is no need in this kind of situation to be "fair" to an absent non-person.
 
  • #28
Even if you say you're sorry, that's not going to be any good. When a man tries to get a woman to give sex to pay a bill, that's a drop-dead deal-breaker for her and nothing is going to fix it (in my opinion).

This is what I suggest for damage control: just be nice to her without expectations of love, sex, dates, or anything like that and don't get angry if she tries to avoid you. Pass in the hall, just smile and say hi. Nothing more unless she want's to engage you. Don't bug her. If she comes to you for some help, treat it just as help and nothing more. Don't be mean to her just to get revenge. Treat her fairly and don't make any comments about love, sex, dating or how you feel. If you see her with someone else, try your best not to get enraged or angry or vengeful. Focus on your life and how to improve it yourself. I think it doubtful she'll be able to repay the money you gave her. I could be wrong and if she can that's fine. I'm pessimistic though and try to not let that be a serious issue for you. Just let her have it before it enrages you to do something bad. Remember the words of a great modern-day philosopher:

"you can't always get what you want, but sometimes you get what you need"
 
  • #29
SELFMADE said:
I just want the friendship back, nothing more.

Anything you do right now will make it worse. What she needs is distance. She needs to know that you can back off.
 
  • #30
I am so loving this right now. Does this happen here often? :D What a break from proposal writing! Thank God I don't have kids yet.

Is this really a serious thread, or are the ops here just trying to boost visitor counts?
 
  • #31
SELFMADE said:
Ok its been two days of no contact. I really appreciate the seriousness of the advices. I get the message. I am not doing this for the attention; I just don't have no one else to consult and I am having deep second thoughts. Some part of me really want to communicate that I am sorry for what I proposed and I just want what we had: just the friendship. She's really a good person. She's having a tough time right now and I am really ashamed to be becoming extra burden on her. She's trying to get into a grad school by herself. One of her dreams is to open a school for children. She used to say her childhood was stolen, her parents weren't with her when she was young and now she doesn't want to be with them because of that. Really stupid of me to demand from someone like her to sell herself. I didn't have much of a childhood myself, maybe that is why I do such stupid ****, maybe that is why she resonates with me. Now I just wish we would be just friends again. She needs so much help! But she never asks for anything. She's just a little doll trying to make it in this world. God, what have I done. I just can't act like a monster and not talk to anymore! I am not a monster.

Is it really bad for me to apologize for what I proposed? She used to say my apologies are good as nothing to her and that I always backtrace, not to mention that I am a coward.

that has got to be the most repulsive thing any guy could be to a woman. You need to quit all this moping and sobbing right now, you acting pathetic. no woman wants to date a guy like that. why don't you join the military and make something of yourself, because i really doubt you can change just by listening to our advice.
 
  • #32
No it's not. Some guys kill when rejected. We see that happening in the news regularly.

I don't understand why you guys are so hard on him not to mention the thread may get locked cus' you guys are gettin' hostile on him. I see nothing inconsistent with human nature in his behavior. In fact, as I alluded to above, it could get much worst than this. It is after all a "relationship" thread and many, many people have problems in their relationship that to us may seem easily solved by simply changing behavior. That's often not easy for someone to do especially when feelings are involved. Personally, I think he's sincere and do not feel this is some joke thread. Lots of people need help. Often they do not get it
 
  • #33
Look, this girl has 0 interest in EVER being with you. She doesn't owe you anything for you buying her drinks or movie tickets, that's your gamble in hopes of sparking something with her and it failed. The $1500 was just stupid. You make it sound like she thinks you're a creep and if that's true, you've lost the friendship. "No means No" as they say. I have a feeling you're on the verge of a restraining order.

Why would she be with someone who doesn't listen to a simple request to stop acting like a creep to her? Relationships don't start out that way. You'll never find a girl who speaks of how she came to be with her significant other starting with "Well, at first I told him I'd never be with him even if he was the last person on Earth and to stop telling me he loved me."
 
  • #34
1500 US$ is way too much for medium prices whores. If you want to pay for sex
do yourself a favor and find cheaper prostitutes. Unless your name is Spitzer of course :P
You'll get 3-4 at the price of one in 1.5k - 2k range :P
 
  • #35
Pengwuino said:
You make it sound like she thinks you're a creep and if that's true, you've lost the friendship. "No means No" as they say. I have a feeling you're on the verge of a restraining order.

Why would she be with someone who doesn't listen to a simple request to stop acting like a creep to her?"

You are way too hard. A women who strings a man and tap him of 1500 US$ deserve no respect. Besides, many of the girls from this group will also spread for money, although they doit a bit more masked than a prostitute. So it's not really something "creepy" to ask for sex for the money. Sex can be and is used pretty much as a currency all the time. The whole world knows it. From the homeless to congressman.

This guy has only one problem. He fallen for what appears to be a women pretty well versed in tapping money from man, and he failed to put the problem right from start :P He aint creepy, just naive.
 
<h2>1. How can I handle a 25-year-old who acts like a little girl?</h2><p>Dealing with someone who acts immature and childish at an age where they should be more responsible can be challenging. It's important to communicate openly and honestly with them about their behavior and how it affects others. Encourage them to take responsibility for their actions and set boundaries if necessary.</p><h2>2. What are some possible reasons for a 25-year-old to act like a little girl?</h2><p>There could be various reasons for this behavior, such as past trauma, a lack of maturity or emotional intelligence, or even a mental health issue. It's essential to approach the situation with empathy and try to understand the underlying cause of their behavior.</p><h2>3. How can I help a 25-year-old who is struggling with this behavior?</h2><p>First and foremost, it's important to be patient and understanding. Encourage them to seek therapy or counseling to address any underlying issues. Additionally, you can offer support and guidance in setting goals and developing more mature coping mechanisms.</p><h2>4. Can this behavior be changed or improved?</h2><p>Yes, with the right support and effort, this behavior can be changed or improved. However, it's important to remember that change takes time and patience. It's crucial to have realistic expectations and to continue to offer support and encouragement throughout the process.</p><h2>5. How can I maintain a healthy relationship with a 25-year-old who acts like a little girl?</h2><p>Communication and setting boundaries are key in maintaining a healthy relationship with someone who exhibits this behavior. It's essential to have open and honest conversations about your feelings and expectations. Additionally, it's important to prioritize your own well-being and not enable their behavior by constantly catering to their demands.</p>

1. How can I handle a 25-year-old who acts like a little girl?

Dealing with someone who acts immature and childish at an age where they should be more responsible can be challenging. It's important to communicate openly and honestly with them about their behavior and how it affects others. Encourage them to take responsibility for their actions and set boundaries if necessary.

2. What are some possible reasons for a 25-year-old to act like a little girl?

There could be various reasons for this behavior, such as past trauma, a lack of maturity or emotional intelligence, or even a mental health issue. It's essential to approach the situation with empathy and try to understand the underlying cause of their behavior.

3. How can I help a 25-year-old who is struggling with this behavior?

First and foremost, it's important to be patient and understanding. Encourage them to seek therapy or counseling to address any underlying issues. Additionally, you can offer support and guidance in setting goals and developing more mature coping mechanisms.

4. Can this behavior be changed or improved?

Yes, with the right support and effort, this behavior can be changed or improved. However, it's important to remember that change takes time and patience. It's crucial to have realistic expectations and to continue to offer support and encouragement throughout the process.

5. How can I maintain a healthy relationship with a 25-year-old who acts like a little girl?

Communication and setting boundaries are key in maintaining a healthy relationship with someone who exhibits this behavior. It's essential to have open and honest conversations about your feelings and expectations. Additionally, it's important to prioritize your own well-being and not enable their behavior by constantly catering to their demands.

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