What's the Best Move for Someone Who's Been Moving Around a Lot?

[Gale]

Hey all,
So yeah, I know I haven't really posted much in a while. Life has been crazy, and since I've been out of school, there's been less of a reason to hang around the forum. Don't know if I'm remembered well enough or not, but even if you don't know me, advice is welcome anyway.

So here's the deal. The end of October I broke up with whozum, and moved back to New Hampshire. I was not doing very well back then. I left most of my stuff in a public storage place in phoenix, thinking at the time, that I'd go back to arizona for school in the spring. Well, I applied to school, but of course I didn't get my finances together in time. Anyway, a friend from Mass, shows up the night before christmas and tells me he's driving back to Oklahoma, where he's currently living, and that I could go with him. I said sure, since I had nothing else I was doing. Now I'm in Oklahoma... He's changed his mind.

So, in less than 4 months, I've lived in 3 different states. Now I have to decide where I'm going next. I really do want to get back into school, and since I have residency in Arizona, that would be the cheapest place to live. I'll lose my residency status there if I move somewhere else. I could also go back to New Hampshire, but if you know me, you know my family and I don't get along super great, so really, I'd prefer not to do that again. Third option is to go anywhere else... Maybe California since I always wanted to live there, but I dunno. I would, either way, prefer to go back to Arizona and sell or ship my stuff back to New Hampshire, since I'm paying 100 bucks a months to keep it there.

Ok. So that's basically everything I can think of about my situation. My personal preference would be to move to california, and swing by arizona on the way to get my things. Of course, that's probably the most expensive option, and since I've been moving around so much I haven't had the opportunity to work or save any money.

So if you were me, would you bite the bullet and go back to New Hampshire? See how far my minuscule savings gets me? Try to find friends in arizona to stay with til I find a place out there? Some other idea I haven't thought of? Any opinions welcome, and appreciated. Even jokes about how stupid I am for being in this whole mess would be great.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

You are young and free. Use you head, but I say go where your heart takes you.

 

[Astronuc]

I need advice I guess?

And you want to get it in GD!? :uhh: :tongue2:

You are young and free. Use you head, but I say go where your heart takes you.

Any place is better than Oklahoma.

You could go visit Evo. She's just a tad further north.


What are the options in AZ? Flagstaff is kind of nice and there's a uni there. I think cost of living is reasonable. What support do you have there?

In fact, what support would you have in CA or NH? I think having support of friends and people you trust is important while you sort out what you want.

 

[moose]

Come to Arizona, but don't go to ASU. Go to UA (but then again, I am extremely biased because this is where I go...). Take out some loans and don't worry about money until you graduate.

But if California is really the place where you want to go, then you've already made up your mind.

 

[rewebster]

are you ready to get educated?----or do you want to play some more?

 

[Astronuc]

Come to Arizona, but don't go to ASU. Go to UA (but then again, I am extremely biased because this is where I go...). Take out some loans and don't worry about money until you graduate.

UA is a good school. I almost went there for physics.

But if California is really the place where you want to go, then you've already made up your mind.

No offense, but CA is over-rated.

 

[Gale]

Well my roommate wants me gone by this weekend... so it doesn't look like I actually have much choice. Since I have little money, and no support anywhere, I really can only go back to New Hampshire...

I really do need to get my stuff out of Arizona, how to get back into school, and to find a place I actually want to live. bleh.

 

[Moonbear]

Hi Gale...sorry to hear that you and whozum broke up (maybe time to change your avatar?). I had such high hopes for you two.

And of course we haven't forgotten you!

Okay, we can cross NH off your list. I know what that was like for you and you did well to get out of that and on your own. I think that whatever you do, you're best off figuring out a way to make things work out staying on your own rather than going back "home" which was never much of a home in the first place.

How did you like AZ? Aside from the breakup, was it a place you otherwise enjoyed living, or did you want to leave there anyway? If you enjoyed living there, or at least could tolerate living there, the easiest thing is to move back there, whether you share a place with a friend or find something cheap on your own. Get a job, start saving everything you can, take a couple trips to CA to see what's out there, see if it's really as great as you think it is, or if you've just imagined something better than what reality is (it's really expensive there, so you'd want to line up a job BEFORE moving to be able to afford it). Or, what about Colorado? That's not far from AZ, good public universities, and you might feel more at home with the mountains and seasons and snow in winter like what you grew up with in NH than you might feel in AZ. Even if you want to get far from family, you might still find some comfort in a place that has similar climate or terrain as "home."

Maybe you can find a place with a short-term lease or to sublet that won't lock you into staying in one place a full year while you use that as home base to explore your other options without being rushed into a decision.

Has your residency in AZ been sufficient yet to qualify you as independent from your parents for the sake of filling out a FAFSA, or are you still stuck unable to qualify for financial aid for school because you're not independent of them according to FAFSAs criteria yet?

 

[Gale]

I had high hopes for us two too. Probably why I'm taking the whole thing so hard...

And yes, I suppose I should get to changing that avatar... sigh...

Arizona really wasn't that great, but then again, I don't think I ever settled in right. Colorado maybe would be nice though. And yes, California might not be awesome, but I dunno. As far as FAFSA... I'm pretty sure that no matter what I do, I won't be independent til I'm 26. I'm independent for tax purposes now, but FAFSA has its own thing... its a big stupid mess.

Really, I just want to live somewhere and finally have a "home".

Like I said though, He wants me gone ASAP, so I don't really have time to look for anything anywhere... I guess when I get to my parents place I'll just have to make plans to leave soon as I can.

 

[turbo]

Here's a thought...you could go back to New Hampshire, but instead of moving back home, take a housekeeping position at the Balsams and save some money. Because they are very remote (Dixville Notch), they offer payroll-deductible on-site room and board. Since they compete with cruise lines for employees, and winter is the heavy cruise season, they may have a number of openings available. Something like that could give you a chance to work, save, and get back on your feet without a big initial outlay for security deposit, lease agreement, etc.

http://www.thebalsams.com/employment.aspx

 

[Gale]

That's actually a really swell idea Turbo. How'd you think of that? I would somewhat prefer not to be in New Hampshire... its so coooooold! I wonder if there are other sorts of places like that. That would really be ideal for me right now. A place I could live and work at til I figure what else to do...

 

[Astronuc]

That's actually a really swell idea Turbo. How'd you think of that? I would somewhat prefer not to be in New Hampshire... its so coooooold! I wonder if there are other sorts of places like that. That would really be ideal for me right now. A place I could live and work at til I figure what else to do...

A lot of people leave the Northeast and Alaska in the winter time for jobs in the southern states, then return north for similar jobs in the later spring/summer/fall tourist season.

BTW, as Moonbear indicated, we haven't forgotten you.

 

[Evo]

Gale, you are welcome here, If you don't mind shacking up with a fruit bat, a decrepit old woman and a possum smuggling cat.

I only have a one bedroom place now, but I have a sleeper sofa and the rent and food is free. You will never be without a home.

 

[turbo]

That's actually a really swell idea Turbo. How'd you think of that? I would somewhat prefer not to be in New Hampshire... its so coooooold! I wonder if there are other sorts of places like that. That would really be ideal for me right now. A place I could live and work at til I figure what else to do...

I was just thinking of a way that you could pick up an entry-level job real fast without incurring lots of initial expenses, and gain skills and experience while banking some cash. Resorts typically have FANTASTIC food, so you'd be eating well on the cheap, and depending on the positions you might work into, the patrons can be pretty nice with the tips, too.

Search around the Balsams' website and you'll see that they are now part of a much larger consortium of resorts, and they may have some sister-resort that is more to your liking. I know that northern NH is cold in the winter, but putting up with that may be the best way to earn the top bucks. After all, Aspen is cold too, but I'll bet resorts there have a lot more interested applicants than the Balsams. If you are willing to relocate and work in the least-hospitable areas, you should get better pay than somebody that ditches them and goes to work for Carnival cruises for the winter. I think that the Balsams also offers course credits for some activities, and their culinary apprentice program is highly regarded. At least look into it. You need a change and a chance to establish some financial independence.

 

[binzing]

Related, but its a question of mine, not an answer. OK, when I graduate I will be 19, and I'd like to go to Oregon State University (I live in New Mexico) So how do you gain residency in a state(I'd like to get it for much cheaper rates) If the process takes about a year, then I could wait till I was 20 before entering college, maybe taking some courses at the local community college in Corvallis, Ore.(Home of OSU). I have family in the region so finding a place to stay will be easy. Thanks everyone.

 

[Cyrus]

Do you have any academic intentions?

 

[Gale]

yes I do have academic intentions. I just don't want to rush back into school too soon. I think I was too young when I first went, and I've spent a lot of money. I'm a lousy student, much as I like my subjects. I think wherever I go, I'm going to start slow and take classes part time. I hope to at least. Maybe I'll end up going full time this fall depending one what sorts of choices i make now. I hate being in this situation cause it feels like any decision i make can change the whole direction of my life, and its just a lot of pressure.

 

[Gale]

Related, but its a question of mine, not an answer. OK, when I graduate I will be 19, and I'd like to go to Oregon State University (I live in New Mexico) So how do you gain residency in a state(I'd like to get it for much cheaper rates) If the process takes about a year, then I could wait till I was 20 before entering college, maybe taking some courses at the local community college in Corvallis, Ore.(Home of OSU). I have family in the region so finding a place to stay will be easy. Thanks everyone.

Residency requirements vary by state. For most I think its only one year but you need TWO years of financial independence. That was the issue for me. Also, generally, you aren't allowed to take classes during the year you live in the state you're trying to get residency for. The whole point of having to live in that state a year is to prove that you aren't moving there just for cheaper tuition, but because you wanted to live in that state.

 

[Huckleberry]

Hey all,
So yeah, I know I haven't really posted much in a while. Life has been crazy, and since I've been out of school, there's been less of a reason to hang around the forum. Don't know if I'm remembered well enough or not, but even if you don't know me, advice is welcome anyway.

So here's the deal. The end of October I broke up with whozum, and moved back to New Hampshire. I was not doing very well back then. I left most of my stuff in a public storage place in phoenix, thinking at the time, that I'd go back to arizona for school in the spring. Well, I applied to school, but of course I didn't get my finances together in time. Anyway, a friend from Mass, shows up the night before christmas and tells me he's driving back to Oklahoma, where he's currently living, and that I could go with him. I said sure, since I had nothing else I was doing. Now I'm in Oklahoma... He's changed his mind.

So, in less than 4 months, I've lived in 3 different states. Now I have to decide where I'm going next. I really do want to get back into school, and since I have residency in Arizona, that would be the cheapest place to live. I'll lose my residency status there if I move somewhere else. I could also go back to New Hampshire, but if you know me, you know my family and I don't get along super great, so really, I'd prefer not to do that again. Third option is to go anywhere else... Maybe California since I always wanted to live there, but I dunno. I would, either way, prefer to go back to Arizona and sell or ship my stuff back to New Hampshire, since I'm paying 100 bucks a months to keep it there.

Ok. So that's basically everything I can think of about my situation. My personal preference would be to move to california, and swing by arizona on the way to get my things. Of course, that's probably the most expensive option, and since I've been moving around so much I haven't had the opportunity to work or save any money.

So if you were me, would you bite the bullet and go back to New Hampshire? See how far my minuscule savings gets me? Try to find friends in arizona to stay with til I find a place out there? Some other idea I haven't thought of? Any opinions welcome, and appreciated. Even jokes about how stupid I am for being in this whole mess would be great.

Wow, your situation sounds almost exactly like mine. The only differences are that I didn't break up with whozum, lived in Mass and not NH, and kept my stuff at a relatives house in Arizona and not in a storage facility.

I ended up going back to Mass. and stayed with my parents for a few years while I went to school. I wasn't very happy with the result and it wasn't a great environment for learning. I was frustrated all the time and it took a toll on my grades, though some classes I actually did better in. For example, creative writing and psychology were improved, but foreign language, biology and chemistry were much harder to be focused on while living at home.

Anyway, I decided to move out so I came to Portland, OR. It's not quite as cold as New England. There isn't much snow. The people are generally friendly. It's reasonably affordable. There are lots of things to do. IT's a great place to live if you don't mind the rain.

I had a rough time in Arizona. At one point I had no place to live and no relatives to stay with. I decided to tough it out there. I got a manufacturing job right away and stayed at a studio apartment that charged by the week. It's expensive to do that, but I didn't have the money for first and last. Eventually I moved in with friends and saved a bunch of money and left to stay in Mexico for a few months. Not a very responsible decision on my part, but I think it was worth it.

I don't have any advice for you except to do what you feel is best for you.

P.S. Hey, is Long Wong's still there in Tempe, by the university? I used to love going to that place for the live music and hot wings.

 

[JasonRox]

That sucks. I'll throw in my advice.

I think it's critical you find a steady source of income wherever you are. Just like turbo-1 was basically implying. Who cares if it's McDonald's or anything, get the best you can get (I'm certain it's better than MCDONALD'S!). Then go from there.

I'm doing the same thing and I'm finishing school in April. I'm not sure where I want to live. I just know I'd like to try and live somewhere new. My first goal is to find a good job or job period. Residencies are always open so I'm not worried about those kinds of things.

Of course you have a quick decision to make, mine would be to find a job that makes enough to live. No point going around with no income, you'll go homeless fast.

 

[rewebster]

Gale---what did you decide to do?

 

[Gale]

Well, I've only made a few small decisions so far. I have a plane ticket back to New Hampshire, but a friend is picking me up at the airport, and I'll stay with her. I've been scoping out jobs in boston and on the seacoast trying to get a feel for things. I'm also going to look into that resort idea of turbo's. I'll have to just keep paying for my stuff in storage until I figure out what else to do. I fly out tomorrow morning, and hopefully soon I'll have a little more planned out.

 

[rewebster]

A plan is better than not having one----I would guess that someone is needing a roommate in some paper (want ads) around the area where you're going-

-it half sounded like that guy expected 'something' to happen

Do you have a notebook/laptop to keep us up to date?

 

[Gale]

No, my computer died last week before I moved to Oklahoma actually. My cell phone did too. Real crappy timing. I could afford a new phone, but not a computer. I'm sure there are libraries wherever I go though.

And yeah, maybe he did expect something. We sort of did date a little (2 months), and he sort of took a long time to get over me (2 years). But I was pretty sure we were just friends now and that was cool with him. I'm not really sure at all what happened, but it doesn't matter now either way.

I'm sure I'll find a place to live. I'll probably have to settle for some temporary situation until I can save up for my own place, which is what I'd really like.

 

[rewebster]

Look on ebay when you get settled--I picked up an older Armada laptop for $45--installed win98 (didn't have xp or vista)

got a place to stay, too?

 

[Mk]

Gale, you are welcome here, If you don't mind shacking up with a fruit bat, a decrepit old woman and a possum smuggling cat.

You live with a decrepit old woman?

 

[Evo]

You live with a decrepit old woman?

That would be me. I've been poking holes into and breaking various parts of my body. Pretty soon I'll be wearing orthopedic shoes and using a walker to get around.

 

[rewebster]

That would be me. I've been poking holes into and breaking various parts of my body. Pretty soon I'll be wearing orthopedic shoes and using a walker to get around.

what's the news on the elbow/arm?

 

[Kurdt]

what's the news on the elbow/arm?

Evo will pick up on subliminal messages like that and slash her arm. Be careful rewebster.

 

[Moonbear]

... it feels like any decision i make can change the whole direction of my life, and its just a lot of pressure.

That's always the case with decisions we have to make as adults. The only way to avoid changing directions is to not make any decisions and go nowhere...and you'll find out quickly that's much worse than whatever direction you might go by making a decision.

I really like turbo's idea too. If you can get a foot in the door of someplace when they are short-staffed during the slow season, then you know you've got a job for the busy season too...I'm sure someplace like that would rather keep on someone who they know will stay around during the season when everyone else flees than rehire someone who abandoned them for warmer climates in winter.

I don't know how hard it is to get jobs on a cruise line either, but that could be a pretty cool opportunity for someone young and interested in seeing different places/traveling without having to pay for it.

 

[binzing]

Residency requirements vary by state. For most I think its only one year but you need TWO years of financial independence. That was the issue for me. Also, generally, you aren't allowed to take classes during the year you live in the state you're trying to get residency for. The whole point of having to live in that state a year is to prove that you aren't moving there just for cheaper tuition, but because you wanted to live in that state.

Thanks Gale, and I do infact intend to live in Oregon once I get done with school, its SO much better than this part of New Mexico.

 

[Astronuc]

That's always the case with decisions we have to make as adults. The only way to avoid changing directions is to not make any decisions and go nowhere...and you'll find out quickly that's much worse than whatever direction you might go by making a decision.

Excellent advice. One has to pick a direction and go!

I really like turbo's idea too. If you can get a foot in the door of someplace when they are short-staffed during the slow season, then you know you've got a job for the busy season too...I'm sure someplace like that would rather keep on someone who they know will stay around during the season when everyone else flees than rehire someone who abandoned them for warmer climates in winter.

I don't know how hard it is to get jobs on a cruise line either, but that could be a pretty cool opportunity for someone young and interested in seeing different places/traveling without having to pay for it.

Turbo's idea is reasonable, but think about where one wants to go academically, and make a decision based upon that. Dixville Notch is 2.5 hrs from Hanover (Dartmouth College), and then there is UNH. The other good news is that you'll be 2 hrs from Turbo's.

For now perhaps the best thing is get a job and a place to stay while figuring out what one wants to do. In the long term, one should strive for a profession that is meaningful and enjoyable, and provides for economic independence.