I’ve been thinking a lot lately about an issue I’ve had for quite some time. Reflections/conversations with my wife about our relationship, and the results of a few personality tests, have convinced me that I need to seek help for my emotional constipation. She’s not pressed me to do anything and assures me that she is happy. However, I am sick and tired of not being able to connect with her on an emotional level, and I refuse to throw up my hands and say, “That’s just the way I am.” It would feel like a cop-out, and would not be very fair to her. I can tell that I’m currently inadequate in my ability to meet her needs in this area, so I’ve made an appointment with a counselor so that I can identify the root(s) of the issue(s). I am tired of only being able to offer solutions. Sometimes she probably just wants someone with whom she cry, get angry, feel silly, do things that don’t make sense, etc. She’s such an incredible woman, and I’ve wondered why she’s chosen to spend her life with someone so ill-equipped to connect with her in this way. I am actually getting emotional just thinking about it. I’ve apologized for my shortcomings before, and she tells me that I’ve come a long way since we first met – we dated for three years, were engaged for one, and have been married for almost two. I know that she’s being honest and sincere with how she feels, and she’s told me that she needs someone like me to help balance herself, but I just can’t help feeling like she’s being cheated. I truly believe that I can improve in this area. I just don’t understand why I have such a hard time circumventing/sacrificing logic and reason for romantic silliness, or even just plain illogical, unreasonable emotion. I can probably start by ditching my false belief that emotions are always illogical and unreasonable! I believe that a complete human being has the ability to function on all levels, not just a few – and she deserves no less from me. I don’t know why I’m posting this here. I’m definitely not a verbal processor, so this is quite unusual for me; I tend to retreat inward when faced with problems and issues. I’m also pretty slow to open up to people. PF just feels like a safe place to share something like this. Most of you have consistently demonstrated a non-judgmental perspective towards just about anything that is being discussed, which is something I’ve never really experienced before, and I have a high amount of respect and admiration for those of you who diligently display such an attitude.