- #1
Gale
- 684
- 2
i think I'm afraid of being a bad person
Has anyone else ever felt that way? like, i think i maybe have a genuine fear that I'm not innately good. i just get really worried about feelings i have, or things i do. i try to be very peaceful and happy. i try really hard to be good to people around me and my environment. i really strive to be the best person i can be, and i think its because I'm afraid I'm not a very good person. i feel like, i'm... Bad... just, evil maybe? like, that real primitive sort of evil. and i feel really guilty about it. i feel guilty ripping paper sometimes, because its destructive. and i feel bad wishing ill-things on people who've hurt me. i feel really bad. i feel disgusted with myself when ever i think negative things.
its odd really. i grew up being the "bad child" of my family. and i dunno. i try really hard to be a good kid now. and i feel fruitless in my efforts really. like, no matter how kind and generous i am, or no matter how much i help others, I'm just... bad. I'm just trying to hide it or something. I'm afriad that i am just bad. and that there's nothing i can do to change it. i want to be good, and i try to be, so hard i try. but I'm afraid I'm just really not. not at all.
Has anyone else ever felt that way? like, i think i maybe have a genuine fear that I'm not innately good. i just get really worried about feelings i have, or things i do. i try to be very peaceful and happy. i try really hard to be good to people around me and my environment. i really strive to be the best person i can be, and i think its because I'm afraid I'm not a very good person. i feel like, i'm... Bad... just, evil maybe? like, that real primitive sort of evil. and i feel really guilty about it. i feel guilty ripping paper sometimes, because its destructive. and i feel bad wishing ill-things on people who've hurt me. i feel really bad. i feel disgusted with myself when ever i think negative things.
its odd really. i grew up being the "bad child" of my family. and i dunno. i try really hard to be a good kid now. and i feel fruitless in my efforts really. like, no matter how kind and generous i am, or no matter how much i help others, I'm just... bad. I'm just trying to hide it or something. I'm afriad that i am just bad. and that there's nothing i can do to change it. i want to be good, and i try to be, so hard i try. but I'm afraid I'm just really not. not at all.
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