I wanna be a Pseudoscientist

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  • #1
Evo
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Main Question or Discussion Point

Yes, this is a joke.

Sometimes, I’d much rather be a pseudoscientist. It must be so much easier to slap together experiments that only seek to prove what I want them to. I could ignore bias, good statistical analysis and intellectual integrity. I could play fast and loose with scientific terminology and throw in words like “quantum”, “resonance” and “multiplasmic fendangles” when I want to sound “sciency
Continued...

The Homeopathic Activity Verifier (TM) uses patented Quantum Unified Attentuating Cathode (QUAC) technology to test the effectiveness of homeopathic solutions. Utilising Carbon Resonating Alpha Particles (CRAP) circuitry this device is cutting edge technology. Just place the solution in front of the device, press the button and the lights will activate when it detects the altered resonance harmonics of the energised water particles. If only several of the lights activate the solution may have degraded due to exposure to light or a skeptical presence.
http://sciblogs.co.nz/molecular-matters/2011/05/06/i-wanna-be-a-pseudoscientist/
 

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  • #2
phinds
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Yes, this is a joke.
You shouldn't joke about it ... it is MUCH more profitable than being actual scientist because to publish, you don't have to do any actual research, just string together a bunch of mumbo jumbo and then move on to the next book (or TV show).
 
  • #3
Curious3141
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And anyone who tries to discredit you or even adopts a skeptical stance can immediately be accused as being part of the establishment cabal with big vested interests.
 
  • #4
Evo
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And anyone who tries to discredit you or even adopts a skeptical stance can immediately be accused as being part of the establishment cabal with big vested interests.
BIG PHARMA trying to keep the truth away from the populace. :surprised
 
  • #5
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I could only listen to six minutes of this, but it's either brilliant comedy or serious pseudoscience (meaning the narrator really believes this stuff). BTW 696 thumbs up, 198 down. I hope most of the thumbs up people just thought it was funny, but then again.....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkpPbro-EAk

Note the string ends attached to the "levitated" object at the beginning.
 
  • #6
Danger
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You have a lot more patience than me, SW. I lasted only 46 seconds.
Evo, I've spent about the last 30 years considering the idea of starting a cult. Maybe we could partner up and get twice as rich.
 
  • #7
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Note the string ends attached to the "levitated" object at the beginning.
Those are strings of sideways multi-resonating quantum magnetic momentum and they are attached to the universal ceiling that is up and infinitely far away.
 
  • #8
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You have a lot more patience than me, SW
If people have the time, they should listen to the whole thing. I think it might be a spoof by some physics students at a certain British university. It's an 'ultimate theory of space, time, matter, energy, life, the universe and everything' dressed up in bits of real (if disconnected) math and physics. (But no mention of the number 42 that I recall.) Early on, it resolves QM with GR and explains quantum gravity.
 
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  • #9
Borek
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Note the string ends attached to the "levitated" object at the beginning.
Lifter is a sound science, it requires high voltage, hence the wires.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ionocraft

I don't understand spoken English, so I didn't drop out till around the first static pictures.
 
  • #10
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Lifter is a sound science, it requires high voltage, hence the wires.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ionocraft
I'm glad you brought this up. Lifters are real but, before their operation was understood, many claimed they demonstrated an anti-gravity phenomenon. I suppose there are still people who think that, despite the fact they won't work in a vacuum.
 
  • #11
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I'm glad you brought this up. Lifters are real but, before their operation was understood, many claimed they demonstrated an anti-gravity phenomenon. I suppose there are still people who think that, despite the fact they won't work in a vacuum.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jk2GGoMJ7NU
 
  • #12
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Lifter is a sound science, it requires high voltage, hence the wires.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ionocraft

I don't understand spoken English, so I didn't drop out till around the first static pictures.
OK. That would be an electromagnetic phenomenon producing thrust, but I don't think you can call that "antigravity". The electromagnetically generated thrust would simply overcome gravity in this case of a lightweight metal object.
 
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  • #13
Borek
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I never stated anything about antigravity - and I am aware of the fact people are misinterpreting the working principle of the lifters. It is just that the initial comment about strings could be read as suggesting first scenes of video depict some kind of hoax, while there is a perfectly valid physics behind. And as explained earlier, I am completely ignoring whatever the guy says in the video.
 
  • #14
russ_watters
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You have a lot more patience than me, SW. I lasted only 46 seconds.
Evo, I've spent about the last 30 years considering the idea of starting a cult. Maybe we could partner up and get twice as rich.
Um, if there's two of you, won't you be half as rich? :tongue:

Sorry buddy, but there's only room for one Jesus in my cult.
 
  • #15
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jk2GGoMJ7NU
That's the great thing about Mythbusters: they have the budget to build a vacuum chamber and settle the issue on national TV.
 
  • #16
Borek
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That's the great thing about Mythbusters: they have the budget to build a vacuum chamber and settle the issue on national TV.
<devil's advocate>They didn't prove anything, they should show it flying in the chamber first.</devil's advocate>
 
  • #17
collinsmark
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This was posted recently in a different thread, but it's worthy of reposting.

"Several years ago, Rockwell International decided to get into the heavy duty automatic transmission business. They were getting ready to tape their first introductory video. As a warm up, the professional narrator began what has become a legend within the training industry."​

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2kwl1YRYy_g
 
  • #18
Evo
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That was good.
 
  • #19
Danger
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Um, if there's two of you, won't you be half as rich? :tongue:
No, we'd double the take because we'd be targeting two distinct, yet equally gullible, segments of society.

Sorry buddy, but there's only room for one Jesus in my cult.
Oh, well... if you have one of those things kicking around you're unsuitable for membership anyhow. My ex-wife insisted upon having one in our bathroom. I didn't like the way it looked at me while I was taking a dump.
 
  • #20
BobG
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Evo, I've spent about the last 30 years considering the idea of starting a cult. Maybe we could partner up and get twice as rich.
Um, if there's two of you, won't you be half as rich? :tongue:

Sorry buddy, but there's only room for one Jesus in my cult.
You fail to understand the future of social networks, such as Facebook. Someday, marketing companies will take advantage of "parrots" that promote a company's product via word of mouth. Companies will pay people to do this, with a parrot's pay determined by:

a) their reach (their number of Twitter followers, Facebook friends, etc)

b) their incorruptibility (people that are pecieved as the type that would refuse to promote products to their friends for money make the most valuable "parrot")

And, yes, selecting your parrots to cover drastically different demographic groups will extend a company's reach.

Actually, I got this idea from Jennifer Egan's "A Visit from the Goon Squad", an exceptionally well written book (especially the chapter that consisted entirely of Power Point slides - I'm a sucker for Power Point slides). And, naturally, I wasn't paid for that compliment.
 
  • #21
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All I want to know is...do I get to be a scientific priestess reincarnated from the spirit of a scorpion in ancient Egypt? I can formulate some pseudo theories on relativity and the speed of light while traveling through the wormhole of reincarnation. (I was required to read a lot about the Fundamental Fysics group the semester before last -_-)
 
  • #22
Danger
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All I want to know is...do I get to be a scientific priestess reincarnated from the spirit of a scorpion in ancient Egypt?
That depends. Are you currently female? If not, an intermediate step might be required.
 
  • #23
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This, Danger, is why I love you XD
 

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