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I'm in love with a friend!

  1. Dec 2, 2012 #1
    Hello guys well first of all i would like to introduce myself since i am new around here,

    my name is "Saad" (yes IRL!) i am from Iraq, well i don't have much to say lol my questions is ..

    I met a friend on Facebook a month ago and i got to know her and got really close friends with her, and i mean really close, now she had a BF which he dumped her but i think she has feelings for him, and the problem is i think i am in love with her we say things like "I love you" and stuff like that to each-other but i don't know if she means it or not, she even gave me her phone number, but AFAIK she said we are only friends, but what can i do i love her :( ...

    What should i do ? Should i leave her alone ?

    Should i confess to her that i love her ? But i am scared that if she refuses we will even loose our friendship!

    Tell me what to do !!

    Thanks :)
  2. jcsd
  3. Dec 2, 2012 #2
    From my experience, find a hobby, keep the friend a friend if you like but find a different fish to go after, there are more out there thank you think.
  4. Dec 2, 2012 #3
    Yes true there are more then what i think there is, but the problem is this one never made fun of me, and TBH i am a big nerd i don't think a girl will ever come close to me.
  5. Dec 2, 2012 #4


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    Don't be so hard on oneself. Obviously, one's parents became close, and one's grandparents. Perhaps one may seek advice from one's mother and grandmothers, peace be upon them.
  6. Dec 2, 2012 #5
    And there is this, my friends (Male) keep bragging on me and faffing around telling me stuff like "no one will ever love u", and "You're ugly" and more stuff.

    That gets my self esteem lower, i really can't ignore it if someone says something like that.
  7. Dec 2, 2012 #6


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    Don't listen to those 'friends'. Consider finding new friends, who do not brag or make unkind statements.

    One could ask one's female friend if she thinks that other girls might find you attractive, or perhaps ask her advice. That might pique some interest.
  8. Dec 2, 2012 #7
    Isn't it Arab culture to make fun of each other?

    As for the girl, why don't you get a pretty local girlfriend and make your friend envious! :tongue2:
  9. Dec 3, 2012 #8
    Well i asked a girl before she said you are just fine there is nothing wrong with you,
    i just want to know what and why are my friends saying those things, thanks for the advice BTW.

    Well generally no Arabs don't make fun of eachother :) the problem is there are more rotten and bad people in Arabs who tarnish the reputation of Arabs nevertheless we can't do anything can we!

    hhhhhhhhhhh I am generally shy so i can't get a girl and make others envious,
    but i will try thanks for the advice too!
  10. Dec 3, 2012 #9
    If you have low self-esteem, you should work on that before seeking relationships. No relationship will fix it.
  11. Dec 3, 2012 #10
    Any advices ? :D
  12. Dec 3, 2012 #11


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    OK, that's a good start, but ask the particular female friend of interest.
    Some young males are like that, perhaps due to insecurity, or faulty upbringing.
    You're welcome.
  13. Dec 3, 2012 #12
    Easier said than done. It can become a bit of a vicious circle if one doesn't get "yes" at least once; failing repeatedly at the love game just reinforces one's own insecurities.
  14. Dec 4, 2012 #13
    Well, I probably shouldn't post in this forum since that's the whole of my relationship advice.
    That's just what I believe. Most people will not follow it, though most relationship ills would be cured by it. Most people are seeking happiness in relationships(a mistake), and most relationships are, as a consequence, just couples who are using each other for validation, rather than coming from a place of personal abundance where you want to share yourself with another human being.

    -Dave K
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