Imaginary Girlfriends: Am I a Freak or Not?

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In summary, Warren admits that he has an imaginary girlfriend and that it helps him deal with emotional issues. He suggests that people not substitute an imaginary girlfriend for a real one and that it may take time for him to find a quality girlfriend.
  • #1
motai
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Alright.. I admit it. I have an imaginary girlfriend. :bugeye:

Since I am obviously completely inept at this sort of stuff, I have resorted to my imagination to solve my emotional woes. Anyone else have imaginary girlfriends, or am I just a freak? :rolleyes:
 
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  • #2
:uhh:

- Warren
 
  • #3
I have lots of imaginary girlfriends. Mostly I use them as screensavers.

You're a bright, handsome young man. Why the difficulty finding a girlfriend?
 
  • #4
Imaginary? Do you mean one you fantasize about? Or you tell others you have a girlfriend when you don't? Or the inflatable kind? The only of those that's going to get you in trouble is the second one if you run into someone you want to ask out after word gets out you already have a girlfriend.
 
  • #5
Huckleberry said:
You're a bright, handsome young man. Why the difficulty finding a girlfriend?

Hmm.. I'm not sure myself actually. I think it is because I always end up talking about nerdy stuff or making corny math jokes all the time. I should probably chill with that for a while...

For a while I thought that girls thought that physics or math was attractive. I think I am horribly horribly off on that conjecture.

At least my imaginary girlfriend likes listening to my inane ramblings on whatever is on my mind, though she isn't much of a talker.
 
  • #6
Moonbear said:
Imaginary? Do you mean one you fantasize about? Or you tell others you have a girlfriend when you don't? Or the inflatable kind? The only of those that's going to get you in trouble is the second one if you run into someone you want to ask out after word gets out you already have a girlfriend.

The cognitive fantasizing type. Not the other two (inflatable !). I'm not mean enough to show off to my friends by revealing a super-ego.
 
  • #7
I'm not sure a real imaginary girlfriend is such a good idea. :confused: Are you serious or just playing? I can't really tell yet.

motai said:
For a while I thought that girls thought that physics or math was attractive. I think I am horribly horribly off on that conjecture.
I think this depends on the girl actually. What kind of a woman do you tend to be attracted to? Do you have difficulty approaching women?
 
  • #8
Huckleberry said:
I'm not sure a real imaginary girlfriend is such a good idea. :confused: Are you serious or just playing? I can't really tell yet.

I think this depends on the girl actually. What kind of a woman do you tend to be attracted to? Do you have difficulty approaching women?

Its 3/4 serious. Some part of me just doesn't want to accept an imaginary girlfriend as a real substitute.

I generally like people who I can relate with. This usually means that they are fairly intelligent (doesn't always have to be that way though), but I want to be able to understand them as much as they would understand me. I don't really have a difficulty approaching women, but I tend to be a little shy. I place their interests higher than my own so I generally don't make any unwanted moves (don't want to make them feeling uncomftorable). I don't, however, mind striking up conversations and complimenting them.
 
  • #9
motai said:
Its 3/4 serious. Some part of me just doesn't want to accept an imaginary girlfriend as a real substitute.

And well you shouldn't! It's okay to fantasize, normal even, but to substitute that for a real relationship would be a problem.

I generally like people who I can relate with. This usually means that they are fairly intelligent (doesn't always have to be that way though), but I want to be able to understand them as much as they would understand me. I don't really have a difficulty approaching women, but I tend to be a little shy. I place their interests higher than my own so I generally don't make any unwanted moves (don't want to make them feeling uncomftorable). I don't, however, mind striking up conversations and complimenting them.

Give it time. You're still young and quality is worth waiting for.
 
  • #10
oh motai! i can promise you there are girls out there who find math and physics VERY attractive, (waves hands, points to self.) and i know I'm a weird gal, but i can't be the only one out there like that.

if it makes you feel any better, i used to go to sleep at night, and imagine that there was a boy out there, who i probably hadn't met yet, but who was thinking of mw, and that we both were just waiting for the day that we'd meet up and both be happy. It wasn't like an imaginary boyfriend... but it was comforting to think that i wasn't really alone...

just wait till you get out around more people... you'll find girls you can relate to.
 
  • #11
motai said:
Its 3/4 serious. Some part of me just doesn't want to accept an imaginary girlfriend as a real substitute.

I generally like people who I can relate with. This usually means that they are fairly intelligent (doesn't always have to be that way though), but I want to be able to understand them as much as they would understand me. I don't really have a difficulty approaching women, but I tend to be a little shy. I place their interests higher than my own so I generally don't make any unwanted moves (don't want to make them feeling uncomftorable). I don't, however, mind striking up conversations and complimenting them.
I don't think they will accept the imaginary girlfriend. That would scare most women away posthaste.

Highschool (or whatever the equivalent is where you live) might not be the best place for a guy like you to meet women. University is a whole different ball game. The women there will be much more interested in academic pursuits and may appreciate your intelligence and sense of humor.

It's good that you are a gentleman. This might sound strange, but I would not recommend being too much of a gentleman. Be polite and considerate and sincere, but don't make a footstool out of yourself. I've found that making women feel a little uncomfortable, off-balance can pique their interest. Confidence is charming. It gives a sense of security to the relationship. But don't over do it. Subtlety is an art.

Don't give up. Try to stay hopeful. Be true to yourself. Be honest with her. All that good stuff. Don't expect things to happen soon. Enjoy them when they happen.
 
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  • #12
Gale17 said:
i used to go to sleep at night, and imagine that there was a boy out there, who i probably hadn't met yet, but who was thinking of mw, and that we both were just waiting for the day that we'd meet up and both be happy.
Hang on a second here! I thought that you were my imaginary girlfriend. :confused: But if you're real, then what the hell have I been... oops...
 
  • #13
motai said:
Alright.. I admit it. I have an imaginary girlfriend. :bugeye:

Since I am obviously completely inept at this sort of stuff, I have resorted to my imagination to solve my emotional woes. Anyone else have imaginary girlfriends, or am I just a freak? :rolleyes:
When I was younger there weren't that many great guys to date, so I would think about the type of guy I would love to meet and think about what we do and where we would go. It was my relaxing before bedtime ritual, and would become my dream when I fell asleep. This is how I became proficient in directed dreamming.

Everynight before going to bed I would think about what I would dream about that night and make it happen. If the dream starts to go into a direction I don't like, I rewind and start over from the point I want to change and make it better.
 
  • #14
Huckleberry said:
I don't think they will accept the imaginary girlfriend. That would scare most women away posthaste.

I doubt the imaginary girlfriend will be permanent. Its mostly just a fixation in my mind to keep the sinking depression at bay :grumpy:. So far its hard for me to see the greener pastures when I'm listening to the music that I am right now (accordion love songs played by the group Big Bad Voodoo Daddy) :grumpy:. I got to control my playlist a little better.

But thanks for the advice Huckleberry, Gale, and Moonbear. I tend to get a little ancy with stuff like this.

I'm still surprised that no one has interjected and poked fun at the imaginary girlfriend thing. Everyone is so nice around here :biggrin:.
 
  • #15
Evo said:
If the dream starts to go into a direction I don't like, I rewind and start over from the point I want to change and make it better.
It's a good thing I don't know how to do that; sleeping is the only time I get any rest.
 
  • #16
motai said:
(accordion love songs played by the group Big Bad Voodoo Daddy) :grumpy:.
My company had Big Bad Voodoo Daddies play at a private party for us in New Orleans, They were great.

I'm still surprised that no one has interjected and poked fun at the imaginary girlfriend thing. Everyone is so nice around here :biggrin:.
It's a normal part of growing up. No, if you fall madly in love with her and want to mary her, you have a problem. But thinking about a girl that you would like and she would like you too, and you enjoy some things together is alright. It's fantasy. Fantsasy can be healthy if it doesn't become obsessive.
 
  • #17
Yeah, it's when your imaginary girlfriend stops becoming imaginary to you that there is a real problem. Still probably not something you would want to tell a girl that you're interested in right away.
 
  • #18
Huckleberry said:
Yeah, it's when your imaginary girlfriend stops becoming imaginary to you that there is a real problem. Still probably not something you would want to tell a girl that you're interested in right away.

no no, the problem starts when your imaginary girlfriend gets out of control. first she starts mouthing off, and then sleeping with your best friend, and then she burns down your house... THAT'S a problem! don't let her get out of line... if she starts acting up, you best get that biyatch to step off you hear?
 
  • #19
Huckleberry said:
Yeah, it's when your imaginary girlfriend stops becoming imaginary to you that there is a real problem. Still probably not something you would want to tell a girl that you're interested in right away.

Yeah, while those of us a bit older know it's all normal, it might scare off someone your own age until you get to know her better.
 
  • #20
Gale17 said:
no no, the problem starts when your imaginary girlfriend gets out of control. first she starts mouthing off, and then sleeping with your best friend, and then she burns down your house... THAT'S a problem! don't let her get out of line... if she starts acting up, you best get that biyatch to step off you hear?

:rofl: If your imaginary girlfriend burns down your house, seek immediate psychiatric attention. :rofl:
 
  • #21
Gale17 said:
no no, the problem starts when your imaginary girlfriend gets out of control. first she starts mouthing off, and then sleeping with your best friend, and then she burns down your house... THAT'S a problem! don't let her get out of line... if she starts acting up, you best get that biyatch to step off you hear?
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Yeah, if she gets out of control just give Gale a call. She'll lay the smack down. :biggrin:
 
  • #22
motai said:
Alright.. I admit it. I have an imaginary girlfriend. :bugeye:

Since I am obviously completely inept at this sort of stuff, I have resorted to my imagination to solve my emotional woes. Anyone else have imaginary girlfriends, or am I just a freak? :rolleyes:

Just don't tell about your imaginary gf to any gal you're going to meet now and in the future :smile:

It's normal to be shy, especially at your age. Just make sure to always make them laugh and smile. If you do she'll rob banks for you :wink:
 
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  • #23
The_Professional said:
Just make sure to always make them laugh
As long as it's not prompted by your undressing... :eek:
 
  • #24
I had an imaginary girlfriend once. Then I cheated on her with a real girl, she left me.


Sometimes I still cry at night. :cry:
WHY DID I DO IT!? :cry: :cry: :cry:
 
  • #25
Does she have a sister? (Danger needs a woman. :wink: ) :biggrin:


Gale17 said:
no no, the problem starts when your imaginary girlfriend gets out of control. first she starts mouthing off, and then sleeping with your best friend, and then she burns down your house... THAT'S a problem! don't let her get out of line... if she starts acting up, you best get that biyatch to step off you hear?
Good advice. When your imaginary girl is a tramp, dump the loser.

Oooh, when you think about it, if your imaginary girl friend is sleeping with your real guy friends...doesn't that mean your imagination is sleeping with your real guy...Eeeeeewwwww! :yuck:
 
  • #26
Artman said:
Does she have a sister? (Danger needs a woman. :wink: ) :biggrin:
Not yet. Still plenty of sheep around.
 
  • #27
Artman said:
Does she have a sister? (Danger needs a woman. :wink: ) :biggrin:


Good advice. When your imaginary girl is a tramp, dump the loser.

Oooh, when you think about it, if your imaginary girl friend is sleeping with your real guy friends...doesn't that mean your imagination is sleeping with your real guy...Eeeeeewwwww! :yuck:
What are you talking about? I thought Gale said "then sleeping with your best friend", not your 'real guy friends'.

In any event, I never really got along with any of my imaginary friends - male or female. Same complicated romantic relationships Gale17 noted - androids really do dream of electric sheep. :frown:
 
  • #28
Danger said:
Not yet. Still plenty of sheep around.
:rofl:

I've got a funny sheep related story. I play guitar in a band at my church and we were having an evening service where our band plays. During the service, our minister has a moment where she talks. Her talk was about the "Good Shepherd." The service is informal so at one point she asks, "Does anyone have anything they would like to add?"
The guy playing guitar next to me leans over and quietly says, "know any good sheep stories?" :biggrin:
 
  • #29
I have two close female friends that I sometimes refer to as "girlfriend substitutes". We hang out so much, we may as well be dating -- we just aren't.

I've had imaginary relationships - the girl's always real, its just that I'll never actually get to date Natalie Portman...
 
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  • #30
russ_watters said:
I have two close female friends that I sometimes refer to as "girlfriend substitutes". We hang out so much, we may as well be dating -- we just aren't.

I've had imaginary relationships - the girl's always real, its just that I'll never actually get to date Natalie Portman...

DOESN'T COUNT! if you're going to be delusional, you have to go all the way, sheesh!
 
  • #31
Gale17 said:
DOESN'T COUNT! if you're going to be delusional, you have to go all the way, sheesh!
Hey, if they're being delusional, some of these guys may actually GET to go all the way! :biggrin:
:rofl:
 
  • #32
Huckleberry said:
The women there will be much more interested in academic pursuits and may appreciate your intelligence and sense of humor.

It's good that you are a gentleman. This might sound strange, but I would not recommend being too much of a gentleman. Be polite and considerate and sincere, but don't make a footstool out of yourself. I've found that making women feel a little uncomfortable, off-balance can pique their interest. Confidence is charming. It gives a sense of security to the relationship. But don't over do it. Subtlety is an art.

Don't give up. Try to stay hopeful. Be true to yourself. Be honest with her. All that good stuff. Don't expect things to happen soon. Enjoy them when they happen.
I second that. :smile:

In fact, Motai, you have my permission to date my daughter any time. :biggrin:
 
  • #33
motai said:
Alright.. I admit it. I have an imaginary girlfriend. :bugeye:

Since I am obviously completely inept at this sort of stuff, I have resorted to my imagination to solve my emotional woes. Anyone else have imaginary girlfriends, or am I just a freak? :rolleyes:

hey, Motai?
Tired of your friends and family telling you to get a girlfriend?
Want to make that certain someone a little jealous?
Need a confidence boost? Just feeling lonely sometimes?

here we go: http://www.imaginarygirlfriends.com/

Cheers! :wink:
 
  • #34
Whoa, that's disturbing.
 
  • #35
russ_watters said:
Whoa, that's disturbing.
Good springboard for a movie plot, though: Bored girl takes job as imaginary girlfriend for extra bucks only to find herself increasingly drawn to geek she's assigned to...
 

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